ROFL.
Now, for the grown-ups. Well, you asked for it, so here goes:
One of the many hypotheses explaining how the image we see on the Shroud could have been made by a dead body lying in it was proposed in 2015 by Daniel S. Spicer, PhD, until recently Research Professor of Physics at Drexel University, Philadelphia, and now Emeritus Scientist at NASA’s Goddard Space Flight Centre.
Although he took half an hour to explain his idea at the St Louis Shroud Conference that year, in essence he considered the body as a conductor of electricity between two insulating plates, the enfolding linen cloth. In a vertical electric field, such an arrangement leads to charges gathering on the horizontal surfaces in preference to the vertical surfaces. Polar gas molecules such as water, ammonia and urea, or similar constituents of body fluids and/or embalming spices, would collect at these points, such that the transfer of such gases from one surface to the other would be more or less collimated, with the result that any image forming reactions were more or less vertically above the sites from which the gases stimulating them were emitted, and ‘wrap-around’ distortion largely, but not wholly, eliminated.
The validity of the hypothesis lies in the availability of a suitable electric field, the availability of appropriate chemical reactions, and the weakening of those reactions with respect to the distance of the cloth from the body.
Spicer lists no fewer than nine other hypotheses involving electric fields, but considers that his is the only one which reduces wrap-around distortion to an acceptable minimum. He presents numerous difficulties and unresolved issues, suggests simple laboratory experiments to clear them up, and makes predictions regarding their outcome. He is determined that his mechanism is a completely natural process with no miraculous overtones, although he himself is convinced that the Shroud is authentic.
Spicer’s paper, co-authored with E.T. Toton, can be found at
http://www.shroud.com/pdfs/stlspicerpaper.pdf, and his presentation at the St Louis conference at
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kl2iJCMuGho&feature=youtu.be&list=UUSv7BD9sKjIcA24ct1Hz_Aw