Making tough decisions

[Dymanic]

Originally posted by Gulliamo

Defining the objective is step number one!

Should be step zero. A car isn't an end in itself, is it? (Well, I guess it could be, if what you're really into is cars).

Whether the objective is received from someone else in a military scenario or defined by circumstance or defined by yourself it is still step one.

The problem occurs when a political objective is recieved from some non-military person(s), and an attempt is made to act upon it as though it were a legitimate, well-defined military objective. We begin with the expectation that politicians will make good military decisions, and end up being disappointed when military personel in the field make bad political decisions.

Some decisions must be made ahead of time (If a car enters my lane I will swerve right into the ditch rather than left into the oncoming traffic) and many more intuitively; but I do not believe this is the nature of the OP.

I don't think you can really decide in advance how you will react in a sudden, life-threatening situation. You can sit back watching TV and say you would do this or that if you were the character, but my personal experience is that when the house is on fire, or someone actually sticks a gun in your face, or bounces your head off the pavement, it's no longer about deciding what kind of person you want to be, but discovering what kind of person you are.

How do you make tough decisions? Did you instinctively decide what your collegiate major should be?

A career choice (or any major life choice) based on inadequate self-knowledge is a shot in the dark; but unfortunately, sometimes taking your best shot is all you can do. How many people learned what kind of person they aren't by choosing the wrong major, the wrong career, the wrong partner? If we all lived to be two hundred years old, and could wait till fifty before starting college or having children, some of these decisions wouldn't be as tough, because by then we know more about ourselves.

Several of us are suggesting that trusting your instincts in these matters is absolutely the way to go, and I stand by that; but figuring out which one among a twitching bundle of instincts is the one to listen to is a problem that doesn't lend itself well to the scientific method. Talking things over with someone is an important part of the process for me. When I finally see the answer, I often realize that I knew it all along.

 

[Gulliamo]

I don't think you can really decide in advance how you will react in a sudden, life-threatening situation.

True. But, if you talk (I know, this is anecdotal evidence) to enough Policemen, Firemen, soldiers, or even athletes they will often answer the question, "I simply fell back on my training." Or, "I didn't think, I just responded how I was taught." This tells me that, while it is impossible to predict exactly how one will react, you can at least prepare or train to increase the likelihood of a given reaction.

 

[Jellby]

Uh, don't know exactly how to ask this, but

do any of you have a way of making tough decisions? How do you make a decision when you don't have enough information, can't get information, can't predict the future....

Whatever you do, never regret your decision.

Think about the issue, consider the information you have and take a decision. If, some time later, you think that it was maybe not the best decision, recall how you carefully thought about the problem and how you did what you thought what best then.

You can wish things would have gone a different way, you can be sorry it wasn't as you planned/hoped, but don't regret your decision.

PS. And with this post I say "hello" to the community

 

[alfaniner]

I heard that psychics and astrologers are really good at helping with this sort of thing.


(Sorry!)


Or, follow the Nike ads -- "Just Do It".


Are you more likely to be better off choosing one way or another?

 

[RamblingOnwards]

I guess it depends on what you consider a 'tough' decision.

Unless you're deciding whether to take a loved one of life support or the equivalent, most things allow you to change your mind if you get it wrong. Even if your decision ruins that particular situation, say you leave your partner and they don't want you back afterwards, the same decision will roll around again with a new partner. You can always go back to university.

First I look for all possible solutions, and add 'not making a decision' to the mix. For instance, in the decision 'BA or BSc', I added posponing my degree, never getting degree, getting both degrees, and finding a university that allowed me to mix them.

I decide not to make decisions until x date or event, and let time resolve some of the issues (the good old 'sleep on it' advice).

Of my options, I don't try to decide the 'best decision', but simply sort them into decisions that I can live with and those I can't. Of the decisions I can live with, I try to take an option that would make changing my mind easy, the 'middle' option (taking the maximum allowed courses of drama in my physics degree).

I use a couple of the hackneyed methods as well (what will the impact of each choice be on me one year from now? five years? twenty? When I think of decision x first thing in the morning am I excited nervous or depressed nervous?)

If at the end of your decision making process you still can't make up your mind, random is as good a method as any other, and much less stressful.

 

[c4ts]

Uh, don't know exactly how to ask this, but

do any of you have a way of making tough decisions? How do you make a decision when you don't have enough information, can't get information, can't predict the future....

There are decisions and there are DECISIONS. You know, "should I get married" or "what should I major in" or "should I have this baby". The kinds of things that if you do something wrong, you can't go back and change it.

Just wondering.

(not exactly religion but maybe it's philosophical. Didn't know where else to put it.)

Well, I always open my Bible and do exactly what it says. This presented a problem when I opened to a passage about seed spilling when I was trying to decide where to have lunch, but it sure made me choose quicker. Anyway, the point is that the Bible has all the answers, just never any that apply or make sense without heavy interpretation so you might as well make alphabet soup and base your decisions off the letters you get in your spoon, then pretend the letters stand for words. Hmmmm... oh mighty soup, should I marry my second cousin? ... GFY ... OK, maybe that wasn't such a good idea after all. Maybe I'll go back to the Bible for answers... apparently I should not only marry my cousins, I should marry a hundred of them. I'm gonna need lots of wine at this wedding... better make that hard liquor and champagne...

 

[Gulliamo]

Not to criticize anyone's methods but I have to say that I expected to see a more structured "thought process" come out of a forum of thinkers. Maybe I am misinterpreting....

 

[c4ts]

Not to criticize anyone's methods but I have to say that I expected to see a more structured "thought process" come out of a forum of thinkers. Maybe I am misinterpreting....

What, did you expect us to rationally assess our situations and weigh the possibilities against one another?

 

[Anathema]

What, did you expect us to rationally assess our situations and weigh the possibilities against one another?

It doesn't matter, your algorithm will always select the MPB....

 

[Mercutio]

It's easy. Flip a coin. When you get the results and then say "best out of three", it means that you really want to do the opposite of whatever the first flip gave you. You had already made the decision but hadn't realized it until then.

Do you remember where you learned this one? I do it to, and I know I read it somewhere. I also do it for others...if they ask me to help them decide, I flip a coin, then put it in my pocket without showing the result, and ask them "which side were you hoping for?" And of course, if there was no hoped-for side, I flip it again for real. As the good Marquis said, it is as good a decision as any under those circumstances. (and Guillamo, I only use this method after a more rational analysis is over, although that rational analysis can and does include the emotional aspects of the decision.)