Don't get me wrong, I'm fairly well convinced that life, at least complex sentient life like us (well, most of us), required both plate tectonics and water. Not just water, but temperature and pressure reasonably near its triple point (or at least not too far removed from ). I'm pretty well convinced that the stability of that temperature and pressure and the availability of water has been strongly influenced by the presence of life. I'm just not convinced that either water or life causes plate tectonic activity,
Without water, there is no difference between oceanic and continental crust.
Reallly? Basalt is wet granite?
The fact that subduction occurs is because there is a difference in density between the two, which keeps the whole process going.
No, that's why continental crust floats on top and isn't subducted at convergent plate boundaries. If that were the cause of subduction, it wouldn't occur at convergent oceanic plate boundaries, and we wouldn't have Japan and the Aleutians.
The density difference that partially drives subduction is a mineralogical phase change and density increase in the subducting plate, induced by the increasing temperatures and pressures. The heavy diving end of the plate contributes to dragging the rest behind it.
Water is a key factor in this, if not the key.
If by "this" you mean plate tectonics: That's not yet demonstrated. If by "this" you mean all manner of other vulcanism, then I concur that water dragged into the subduction zone along with oceanic plate contributes to separation of lighter and more fusible blobs (plutons, IIRC?) that rise up to make things like Honshu, Kodiak, Ranier, El Capitan....
Venus is a very good example of what happens without water. It has an active mantle but no plate tectonics, if I recall correctly.
The absence of both doesn't implicate one as cause of the other. You can't get from
~A * ~B (lack of water AND lack of plate tectonics)
to
A -> B (water causes plate tectonics)
nor
~A -> ~B (lack of water prevents plate tectonics)
Best you can do is
~(~A -> B) (lack of water does not cause plate tectonics)
If Venus has active plate tectonics but no liquid water, that would indicate water need not be the cause of plate tectonics. I'm not competent to address whether Venus has active plate tectonics.
I believe there is also a lubrication effect from the water. Rather than rock rubbing against rock, the contact between oceanic and continental plates contains mostly loose sediment mixed with water, which allows it to slide much more easily.
I won't dispute that point, except to suggest that contribution to effect is insufficient evidence of cause. Crankcase oil makes my car's engine run better, but that ain't what makes it run. (I'll forego the gratuitous BASF paraphrase)