...
More important is: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Well, according to theory, the geodesic of a spherical surface is a great circle. So the chicken may well have determined that the shortest route to its destinatioin was across the road. Modern GPS and satellite imaging confirms that the road WAS too long to walk around.
All that remains is to determine if the chicken was indeed too lazy to take a less direct route.
Well, it depends on who you ask:
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was
going to the "other side." That's what "they" call it: the "other side."
Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you
will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this
abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless
phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be free to cross the
road. It's as plain and simple as that.
KEN STARR: I intend to prove that the chicken crossed the road at the
behest of the president of the United States of America in an effort to
distract law enforcement officials and the American public from the
criminal wrongdoing our highest elected official has been trying to cover up.
As a result, the chicken is just another pawn in the president's ongoing
and elaborate scheme to obstruct justice and undermine the rule of law. For
that reason, my staff intends to offer the chicken unconditional immunity
provided he co-operates fully with our investigation. Furthermore, the
chicken will not be permitted to reach the other side of the road until our
investigation and any Congressional follow-up investigations have been
completed.
(We also are investigating whether Sid Blumenthal has leaked information to
the Rev. Jerry Falwell, alleging the chicken to be homosexual in an effort
to discredit any useful testimony the bird may have to offer, or at least
to ruffle his feathers.)
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road, But why it crossed, I've not been told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and
we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
RONALD REAGAN: What chicken?
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes.
How many more chickens have to cross before you people believe it?
SIGMUND FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 98, which will not only cross
roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken please?
LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you will see, represents the black man. The
chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.
THE BIBLE: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken,"Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?