Split Thread Language and labels - paedophile or child-molester

Porpoise of Life said:
The important question is: should they be spanked for their deviant thoughts?

Concerning fantasies: There is a difference between having a fantasy, enacting a fantasy in a controlled environment with a consenting participant*, and committing crimes in order to satisfy a desire.

*a certain amount of suspension of disbelief is needed, which puts further distance between the fantasy and real life situation.
I doubt people who get off on having their partner wear a French maid costume, expect them to clean the entire house for minimum wage before they get to the naughty part.

Pedophiles can have fantasies, and if they do not involve other people in them, we might never know.
They can't act out their fantasy with a consenting person, so any action towards fulfilling their sexual desire would be criminal.

Someone who is attracted to children and places him- or herself in a position where they can expect to be around children (unsupervised) or have authority over children, is acting in bad faith.
I have no data on the topic, but I would say that any adult who is sexually attracted to the children they teach/supervise/care for should be removed from that position, because they are a risk.

Then there are those that have actually abused children. Some of them are pedophiles, some of them are opportunists who just get off on sexual assault, and children are usually an easier target than adults.
Whatever fantasies these people have or have had is irrelevant, because we are punishing them for their actions, not their thoughts.

None of us are mind readers and people who fantasize about raping little kids are really really unlikely to admit to that, so any attempt to use someone's fantasies as apredictor of the likelyhood that they will become rapists will be dommed to fail.
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Thank you - if, however they had left written evidence of their fantasies that came top light, then I would consider them to be a danger.
 
Porpoise of Life said:
Someone who is attracted to children and places him- or herself in a position where they can expect to be around children (unsupervised) or have authority over children, is acting in bad faith.
I have no data on the topic, but I would say that any adult who is sexually attracted to the children they teach/supervise/care for should be removed from that position, because they are a risk.
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You wont get Argumemnon to agree to this. He thinks they are no greater risk that anyone else

Porpoise of Life said:
None of us are mind readers and people who fantasize about raping little kids are really really unlikely to admit to that, so any attempt to use someone's fantasies as apredictor of the likelyhood that they will become rapists will be dommed to fail.
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But what if they do admit to it, say, in a moment of weakness, or after they have a had a few drinks? Would you, at any time after that, put your children under their care unsupervised?

Earlier, I posted this comment...

"If, as a person responsible for a child, I were to put that child with a person I knew to be a paedophile, and the paedophile chose to take that opportunity to act on their urge and molest the child, then any way you try to slice it, I would be blamed. CYF - Child, Youth and Family, (NZ's equivalent of the USA's CPS - Child Protective Services) would hold ME accountable for placing the child at risk, and they might even charge me with endangering the welfare of a child.

Using Argumemnon's defence that 'the pedophile was no more likely than any other person to molest the child' would be laughed out of Court. "

Those who oppose my view chose not to comment, presumably because they knew they couldn't.

The real point I am making here (and that most people here are missing) is that it all very well for anonymous people to have theoretical "ivory tower" debates, using petty, self-serving analogies to try to prove their point, but out here in the real world, where real people like me are charged with the care of real children, those petty debates count for nothing. I simply cannot take the risk; the consequences of getting this kind of judgement wrong could be dire for the child, and could lead to criminal prosecution and conviction for me. I could end up in jail.

I'm not prepared to take that risk.
 
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smartcooky said:
You wont get Argumemnon to agree to this. He thinks they are no greater risk that anyone else
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Only based on my fact-based understanding that fantasy does not beget reality. I'm open to the possibility that I'm wrong, but I'm yet to see you support your own opinion with facts. And I've already addressed the issue of "outlet" for one's urges.
 
Argumemnon said:
Only based on my fact-based understanding that fantasy does not beget reality. I'm open to the possibility that I'm wrong, but I'm yet to see you support your own opinion with facts. And I've already addressed the issue of "outlet" for one's urges.
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Hopefully, though, you understand that those of us who are actually charged with the safety and care of other people's children, cannot afford to assume you might be right?
 
Argumemnon said:
Only based on my fact-based understanding that fantasy does not beget reality. I'm open to the possibility that I'm wrong, but I'm yet to see you support your own opinion with facts. And I've already addressed the issue of "outlet" for one's urges.
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There is a difference between someone who has an acceptable outlet for their sexual desires, and who might indulge in fantasy as well and someone who has no acceptable outlet. The fantasy mightn't be the problem - the fact that it indicates unacceptable sexual desires is.

If I can brush up my google-fu to think of the terms, I'll refer to a relevant case where a heterosexual man was issued with a court order over his dangerous sexual proclivities, which were riskier to his partners than he disclosed.
 
jimbob said:
There is a difference between someone who has an acceptable outlet for their sexual desires, and who might indulge in fantasy as well and someone who has no acceptable outlet.
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I've already mentioned an outlet (masturbation) but so far nobody has addressed it. I accept that outlets that allow one's particular preferences to be indulged in entirely is better, but other than common sense no one seems to know if this translates in higher risk of sexual violence.
 
Argumemnon said:
I've already mentioned an outlet (masturbation) but so far nobody has addressed it. I accept that outlets that allow one's particular preferences to be indulged in entirely is better, but other than common sense no one seems to know if this translates in higher risk of sexual violence.
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I did.

I said it can get boring and not as satisfying after a while.
 
Argumemnon said:
Since you've followed this thread from the beginning, the above can only be taken to be a lie. Choose your rhetorical tricks more carefully.
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A pedo by definition can't have real sex.

Personally because I'm not gay I can't get it up for a dude.

A pedo presumably couldn't get it up for an adult.

Unless I've totally misunderstood what you meant and I am an idiot.

Which to be fair has happened before
 
cullennz said:
A pedo by definition can't have real sex.
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No, that is completely false, mainly because pedophilia is a preference. Like I prefer spaghetti to a sandwich but will eat sandwiches anyway.

Personally because I'm not gay I can't get it up for a dude.
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I'm sorry but you are utterly ignorant of this matter. Plenty of gay people have had relationships with the opposite sex, for instance, and plenty of straight people have experimented.

Unless I've totally misunderstood what you meant and I am an idiot.
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Not an idiot. Just ignorant of the facts.
 
luchog said:
Really? You know this because you're a medical professional? Where did you get your degree?




And I thought only Americans were this happy to display utter and complete ignorance to the world around them.
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No.

Just know I couldn't get it up for a bloke and followed logic
 
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