It's just a coincidence!!!

[-Fran-]

I keep making these small observations... Like the one that people with a wooish mindset does not seem to believe in coincidences. Things never just happen, everything has a meaning to it, if there's a coincidence that in any way can be related to you, then it's not a coincidence, it has significance and some sort of higher meaning for you to find out

I mean, more or less fantastic coincidences do occur and I am sure most people can tell of a few. But how we view these occurances, as coincidences, or something mysterious and supernatural, seem to differ widely. Yet another difference in skeptic and wooish thinking patterns, maybe?

I'll relate two such things happening in my life:

The first happened many years ago when I was about 15 years old. A friend and I visited a summer outdoor market and as we strolled around among the vendor stands and the crowds we came upon a small girl crying her eyes out. The little girl was about 4 or 5 years old and had been separated from her mom and dad.

My friend and I tried our best to console her so we could take her looking for her parents, but wasn't really succeeding. My friend then suddenly followed an impulse and asked the little girl if her name was Sara. I don't know why she didn't ask what her name was instead, and I don't think she meant to continue with rambling all female names she could think of until the girl recognized one of them as her own, and I don't know why she picked the name 'Sara' of all names. But I suppose the girl's frightened crying got to her and she just blurted things out, anything that came into her head. It had a strange effect though. My friend got through to the girl at once at this question, and she stopped crying. It turned out her name was... Sara!

Now, if I had had a wooish mindset I would probably have suspected that my friend was psychic, and as I have told this story several times at parties and such, there is also always someone who is seriously suggesting that she really is. I say, nonsense! It was a coincidence. The odds wasn't very high to get it right at the first guess, but it happens.

The other odd coincidence took place a few years back when another friend and I went on a small vacation trip in his car. It was a real cheap vacation, we didn't have much money, and we slept in the car, washed up at gas stations and brought our own food and such.

Now, in case we would ever need to get up in the morning for something, I had brought with me my small battery operated alarm clock. But about a week into our trip we hadn't used it and it was still tucked into the bag where I had put it when I left.

This particular morning it happened to be my birthday, and we had planned to sleep long and then find something fun to do that didn't cost that much money, to celebrate this. But we both woke up with a start when suddenly my alarm clock went off by itself inside my bag. And as I reached for it to turn it off, I saw that even though it was set to go off at 9 AM, the time it had really gone of was 9.15 AM - Now, 9.15 AM is the exact time of my birth!

As I have told people this story most think it's a really spooky story, especially if I add that we were sleeping at a graveyard that night. But is it really something supernatural going on here? Of course not!!!

The alarm clock didn't really go off all by itself, to start with. It was in a stuffed-full bag, placed in the back seat, and to sleep I had lowered the front seat that then pressed down on the bag. No miracle really that as I was turning in my sleep, pressing down on the bag even more, I would accidentally press a button on the clock. But what about the time? It didn't go off at the set time, right? Exactly, it didn't, and in fact, it usually didn't. Ever since I bought that damn clock it had more often than not gone off a while before, or a while after the set time. It did that ALL the time, and I had just been too lazy to get it fixed or get a new one. It was just a coincidence that it went off at the time of my birth on my birthday.

But as I said, many people does not laugh with me at this odd coincidence but think it a scary story- And it has even been suggested that I am making up this natural explanation of how it happened because the "supernatural spooky truth" scares me, deep inside

Do, you have similar experiences?

ETA
We successfully located the little girl's parents, and so that story had a happy ending

And, my friend and I often parked the car at graveyards to sleep simply because it's a safe place where no one will disturb you. Reduces the risk of robbery or nosy people Unless you believe that the ones sleeping there eternally will disturb you, I guess

 

[EeneyMinnieMoe]

I know just what you mean. Someone suseptible to woo a) actively looks for experiences like that, b) seizes onto the flimsiest coincidence, c) builds it up, and d) actively ignores any evidence it's just a coincidence.

They love stories like that while I'm actually very bored by them. Everyone on Earth has had no less "extraordinary" experiences. You could fill a book with anecdotes like that from the members of this board.

Here's a story my grandmother likes to tell, just as an example. I was was toddler, about a year old, and my parents were on vacation in Russia and had left me with my mother's parents in Poland. When they were coming back, I heard footsteps on the stairs and stopped and said "Dad!". And what do you know, it was my parents. My grandma really hams this story up when she tells it, with over-the-top imitations of my stony, shocked face and hushed voice and repeatedly emphasizing how I suddenly stopped and how shocked I was .

Do I think I'm psychic? I don't remember this happening but I suspect I was just missing my dad. Besides, my grandparents could have had told me my parents were coming soon and they didn't have many visitors as it was.

 

[Rodney]

My friend then suddenly followed an impulse and asked the little girl if her name was Sara. I don't know why she didn't ask what her name was instead, and I don't think she meant to continue with rambling all female names she could think of until the girl recognized one of them as her own, and I don't know why she picked the name 'Sara' of all names. But I suppose the girl's frightened crying got to her and she just blurted things out, anything that came into her head. It had a strange effect though. My friend got through to the girl at once at this question, and she stopped crying. It turned out her name was... Sara!

Now, if I had had a wooish mindset I would probably have suspected that my friend was psychic, and as I have told this story several times at parties and such, there is also always someone who is seriously suggesting that she really is. I say, nonsense! It was a coincidence. The odds wasn't very high to get it right at the first guess, but it happens.

Did you ask your friend why she said what she did? If she somehow vaguely knew the girl, or if she was in the habit of asking girls if their name was Sara, or in general was in the habit of asking off-the-wall questions, it isn't much of a coincidence; otherwise, however, I'm not sure why you dismiss it so readily.

 

[-Fran-]

Did you ask your friend why she said what she did? If she somehow vaguely knew the girl, or if she was in the habit of asking girls if their name was Sara, or in general was in the habit of asking off-the-wall questions, it isn't much of a coincidence; otherwise, however, I'm not sure why you dismiss it so readily.

The little girl was a complete stranger to us, and my friend said she just blurted things out, trying anything to make the poor girl stop crying. And yeah, she can be rather off the wall, sometimes in the most charming way, of course but she doesn't go about asking people if their name is Sara, no, she's not that nuts!

Do YOU think she is psychic?

 

[-Fran-]

I know just what you mean. Someone suseptible to woo a) actively looks for experiences like that, b) seizes onto the flimsiest coincidence, c) builds it up, and d) actively ignores any evidence it's just a coincidence.

Yes, they act as if coincidences is a very scary thing! As if everything must be controlled by some power somehwere, or the world gets too scary... or something.

They love stories like that while I'm actually very bored by them. Everyone on Earth has had no less "extraordinary" experiences. You could fill a book with anecdotes like that from the members of this board.

Exactly!! Such stories ALWAYS works at parties And everyone has one

Here's a story my grandmother likes to tell, just as an example. I was was toddler, about a year old, and my parents were on vacation in Russia and had left me with my mother's parents in Poland. When they were coming back, I heard footsteps on the stairs and stopped and said "Dad!". And what do you know, it was my parents. My grandma really hams this story up when she tells it, with over-the-top imitations of my stony, shocked face and hushed voice and repeatedly emphasizing how I suddenly stopped and how shocked I was .

Do I think I'm psychic? I don't remember this happening but I suspect I was just missing my dad. Besides, my grandparents could have had told me my parents were coming soon and they didn't have many visitors as it was.

Yes, it's a nice story, and your grandmother wanted to make something of it that has a deeper meaning. But as you said, you probably just hoped it was your dad, and it was...

 

[bob_dezon]

I do not think your friend was psychic, maybe the child had a name tag or name written on a clothing label or bag etc. Maybe the child just "looked like a sara" if you know what I mean. Some people do seem to have a face that fits a certain name.

 

[EeneyMinnieMoe]

Here's another one. My other grandmother, who's even more woo-woo than my mom's mom, swears that one night, she suddenly woke up at 1:15 AM because she had heard a scream. According to her, no one in the apartment was up, no one was outside and it no TV or radio was turned on next door or anything. The next morning, she found out her long-time friend had died in a car crash that night, at around 1:15 AM.

I see several explanations possible for this. She could have been dreaming, someone outside whom she couldn't see had screamed, she could have simply imagined it or the neighbor's baby could have woken up. The time? Just a coincidence she fitted in after she found out about the crash.

 

[The Atheist]

Very good point, Fran. I find a lot of paranormal beliefs are due to simple coincidence and I find myself constantly reminding people of that fact.

Uri Geller's 11:11 BS is a great case in point. You don't actually notice that time any more than any other, but people recognise it when they do see it. In the same way, people disregard how many times they think about their kids, except for that one time Johnny falls off his bike and breaks his arm, just as mum's wondering if he's ok. Coincidences have to happen.

One of the reasons I love playing cards is because I have a very sharp memory for numbers and I know which cards are in play and often call a card before it gets played by someone else, or call the next card off the deck.

There are defintely people who see that as some kind of paranormality, until I explain what actually happened. Luckily for them, I'm an honest bloke!

People just want to believe.

Pure coincidence is a frequent customer for me. Because I recognise my own customers' business cycles, I quite often ring one or other just as they have a need for my humble services. One bloke I recruit for has had that happen to him on three or four occasions and he's convinced I have some form of ESP. In his case, I'm not about to tell him he's a deluded dickhead!

 

[-Fran-]

I do not think your friend was psychic, maybe the child had a name tag or name written on a clothing label or bag etc. Maybe the child just "looked like a sara" if you know what I mean. Some people do seem to have a face that fits a certain name.

I am absolutely SURE my friend is not psychic (and so is she). That's the whole point of my OP, that there ARE natural explanations to all things, or they are pure coincidences - which does happen now and then, and which are not supernatural. But that people with a wooish mindset is wont to jump at stories of pure coincidence as proof of the paranormal, since they don't seem to think that coincidences can occur.

Whether or not my friend made a lucky guess or she got a clue from something, is not the point, it was either of those things, what it was NOT was a psychic ability. But everytime I have told this story for entertainment purposes, as an example of a funny lucky guess, there's always people who claims she must have been psychic, and that I am in denial who says she's not

 

[RSLancastr]

My friend and I tried our best to console her so we could take her looking for her parents, but wasn't really succeeding.

Well, if you were looking at her through the hole in a meat cleaver, I can't say as I'd blame her!

Yes, John Edward is fond of saying "there are no coincidences."

Since a literal interpretation of this would be that no two things ever happen at the same time, I think he means that there are no mere coincidences.

 

[-Fran-]

Here's another one. My other grandmother, who's even more woo-woo than my mom's mom, swears that one night, she suddenly woke up at 1:15 AM because she had heard a scream. According to her, no one in the apartment was up, no one was outside and it no TV or radio was turned on next door or anything. The next morning, she found out her long-time friend had died in a car crash that night, at around 1:15 AM.

I see several explanations possible for this. She could have been dreaming, someone outside whom she couldn't see had screamed, she could have simply imagined it or the neighbor's baby could have woken up. The time? Just a coincidence she fitted in after she found out about the crash.

Yes, coincidences and "after constructions" and memory flaws... So much woo comes from these things.

 

[bob_dezon]

synchronicity does exist, we see it all the time. Last week I caught sight of my clock and it always seemed to read 01:23 or 12:34 this happened quite a few times. I dont however believe it was a sign or omen. It reminded me of that jim carrey movie 23, we see what we are conditioned to see. Some see correlation others will not. Its just one of those fortean moments that makes you think eh?

 

[Rodney]

The little girl was a complete stranger to us, and my friend said she just blurted things out, trying anything to make the poor girl stop crying. And yeah, she can be rather off the wall, sometimes in the most charming way, of course but she doesn't go about asking people if their name is Sara, no, she's not that nuts!

Do YOU think she is psychic?

The possibilities are: 1) She's generally psychic, (2) She's not generally psychic, but in this case a hard-to-explain coincidence occurred, or (3) A garden variety coincidence occurred. You clearly think the answer is (3). Now, if you know your friend quite well, I can see how you might eliminate (1), but I'm not sure on what basis you are eliminating (2), other than you're a "skeptic."

 

[EeneyMinnieMoe]

One thing that used to fascinate me way back when I sort of believed in telepathy was how often my sister and I, our parents and one of us, a friend and I and sometimes my cousins and I could finish each other's sentences, be thinking about the exact same thing at the same time, call each other at the same time to talk about the same thing, anticipate what the other person would say or have the exact same question about something. Even when we were playing cards or something, I could sometimes know what someone would do or say.

At the time I hoped it was telepathy though the explanation that people closely related to each other knew each other so well it seemed they were reading minds certainly occured to me.

 

[-Fran-]

Well, if you were looking at her through the hole in a meat cleaver, I can't say as I'd blame her!

*LOL* That is why I let my friend do most of the consoling part My meat cleaver does seem to have a bad effect on small kids (That's Jim Rose on my avatar by the way, of Jim Rose Circus Sideshow fame. Me, I look totally normal... at least in comparison )

Yes, John Edward is fond of saying "there are no coincidences."

Since a literal interpretation of this would be that no two things ever happen at the same time, I think he means that there are no mere coincidences.

I can imagine he does say that! Fits those peoples' ideas so well... *sigh*

 

[ObscureReferenceMan]

I had a girlfriend who was into all sorts of woo. But still a big fan of Randi's. Go figure. Anyway... She was fond of saying "There are no coincidences!" And kind of left that hanging. As if to point to some mystical force that we just don't understand yet.
[INSERT THEREMIN MUSIC HERE.]

 

[-Fran-]

The possibilities are: 1) She's generally psychic, (2) She's not generally psychic, but in this case a hard-to-explain coincidence occurred, or (3) A garden variety coincidence occurred. You clearly think the answer is (3). Now, if you know your friend quite well, I can see how you might eliminate (1), but I'm not sure on what basis you are eliminating (2), other than you're a "skeptic."

I might just be too tired here to understand you right But I do say that, yes, it was pure coincidence, no paranormal phenomena of any kind involved. I am not familiar with the expression "garden variety..." but yeah if that's what it means, then 3 it is for me Number 2, I don't really get

Does 2 mean that she could have had a spontaneous psychic "thing" happening only this once?? Is that what you mean there?

And are "hard to explain coincidences" any less a coincidence? I mean, isn't the fact that I really do think it was a coincidence, and nothing else, the explanation here? What is so hard about it?

Another explanation, as someone has pointed out, could be that she got a clue from something that she registered but not really remembered, such as a name tag on the girl's clothes. Fully acceptable explanation too, that I can't verify because I don't know why she said that specifically, and neither of us would remember such details anyway. This did happen more than 20 years ago (damn I am old )

But in any case, I do not think she got a psychic once in a life time flash of some kind no I do dismiss that, yes.

 

[EeneyMinnieMoe]

Fran, that person is joking about it by throwing out preposterous possibilities.

"Garden variety" is an expression that means ordinary or standard. I think the source of the idiom was an expression refering to food that pretty much anyone could grow.

Edit: my woo woo friend Caroline from Sweden assures me that everyone is psychic to various degrees and it's just the exceptionally talented that are called "psychic". Wow. Who knew, all of us are really psychic! Just garden variety. Which, judging by myself, is not at all and no different from no psychic powers whatsoever.

 

[Rodney]

I might just be too tired here to understand you right But I do say that, yes, it was pure coincidence, no paranormal phenomena of any kind involved. I am not familiar with the expression "garden variety..." but yeah if that's what it means, then 3 it is for me Number 2, I don't really get

Does 2 mean that she could have had a spontaneous psychic "thing" happening only this once?? Is that what you mean there?

And are "hard to explain coincidences" any less a coincidence? I mean, isn't the fact that I really do think it was a coincidence, and nothing else, the explanation here? What is so hard about it?

Another explanation, as someone has pointed out, could be that she got a clue from something that she registered but not really remembered, such as a name tag on the girl's clothes. Fully acceptable explanation too, that I can't verify because I don't know why she said that specifically, and neither of us would remember such details anyway. This did happen more than 20 years ago (damn I am old )

But in any case, I do not think she got a psychic once in a life time flash of some kind no I do dismiss that, yes.

But why, other than your belief system?

 

[-Fran-]

Fran, that person is joking about it by throwing out preposterous possibilities.

"Garden variety" is an expression that means ordinary or standard. I think the source of the idiom was an expression refering to food that pretty much anyone could grow.

That would make so much more sense if he's just joking! But on here... you never know

Ah, thanks for explaining that expression, I'm always open to learn more English