Not so. It's stated that the reason you can't criticize person/group X is because of something else. That is, it's being presented as an argument and not just as a mere opinion. There is presented a causal relationship between the conclusion/opinion and another proposition (premise).
Sorry, I used poor phrasing and you misconstrued my intended meaning. I'm going to skip this.
If you're implying that it's right for Randi to draw a salary from JREF because "you" would do the same, then you're committing the tu quoque fallacy.
This is what I mean by people throwing about cries of logical fallacies whenever they see one that resembles one in structure or what they think it means.
There is no objective wrong or right about Mr. Randi's salary. There is only opinion based on some homegrown set of morals. By saying, "You would draw the same salary," I could simply be arguing that were you to find yourself in the same position, you would realize how much work it takes, how valuable your expertise is to the organization, and that the salary in question is right smack dab in the middle of what officers in similar sized non-profits earn. Therefore, you would conclude that such a salary is reasonable.
That's not a logical fallacy. It's an opinion about how somebody might judge a situation from another perspective. Big difference.
You might legitimately think it's perfectly fine for Randi to draw that salary from JREF, but it's not logical to claim that it's right because of what someone else would do.
Sometimes it most certainly is. Part of "judging" the salary of someone like Mr. Randi is to look at what is usual and customary. Courts of law use this test all the time. If I sue you and you argue to the judge that $150/hour for my services was not fair, what I have to establish to the judge is that I and other people who do what I do regularly get $150/hr for it. It is very clearly a case of, "Well, other people get that much all the time, so it's okay."
ETA: To elaborate, it could be true that it's right for Randi to draw that salary and right for "you" to draw it. It could be wrong for both. It could be right for one and wrong for the other. All those are logically possible, so it's irrelevant what "you" would do.
It depends entirely on what is intended by pointing out the person's potential actions.
Again, the general class of fallacy that tu quoque and the two wrongs make a right fallacy is that of irrelevant arguments. What "you" would do in this case or what another teacher would do in the playground case are both irrelevant to the question of whether the act being considered is right.
Tu quoque is basically saying that a person's negative judgment of an act to be not valid because that person did that very same something. You have to be very careful with calling something tu quoque. Let me give you some examples where people throw it out there when it's not appropriate:
Me: I think John Doe is a sick tool for reading Hustler.
You: But you also look at Hustler, so you are just as sick!
Me: Tu quoque! Tu quoque!
Only it's not. That's just saying both parties are sick tools for looking at porn. Nothing false about that.
Me: I think John Doe is a sick tool for reading Hustler.
You: But you look at Playboy.
Me: Tu quoque! Tu quoque!
Only it's not necessarily so. Perhap it's pointing out an inconsistency, and there are a number of implications that need to be clarified. For example, if I have a strong anti-porn stance, the assumption is that I never look at it. Therefore, if I look at something, it's not porn. You happen to consider Playboy to be in the same league as Hustler. Therefore, we should debate the division between Playboy and Hustler in regards to what is or is not porn. It's just a drift in the conversation, not a fallacy.
On the other hand if you threw out the line about Playboy to distract me from discussing John's fitness for choir boy, that's a tu quoque. Whether I'm the biggest pervert in the world or not does not affect whether John is a pervert or not.
Here's a more realistic example:
Me: Your party is bad because the incumbents take money from big corporations.
You: So did your party when they were in power.
Me: Tu quoque! Tu quoque!
Not necessarily so. The implication in saying that your party is bad is that my party is not. You could simply be telling me that both parties are bad, which could be true if you believe taking money like that is bad. Another possibility is that you're simply pointing out that taking money like that is standard practice and neither party is bad.
It becomes a tu quoque if you are arguing that your party should not be convicted of
illegally taking money simply because my party got away with it.
That there is implied a causal or logical connection (rather than merely the expression of an opinion) is obvious since you could easily express the opinion that the action being considered is right without bringing up what another person would do. In the playground conversation, I think it's clear that the girl thinks it would be wrong except for the fact (as CM notes, the unsupported "fact") that another teacher would do the same wrong act against the other group. That the only reason she thinks the present action is right (or at least not wrong) is that another person would do a similar thing, which is, of course, logically irrelevant.
I don't think what you think is "clear" at all. Therefore, before any cries of "logical fallacy" are thrown out, discussion must ensue. Unfortunately, I see far too often that this doesn't happen. People then latch on to the "logically fallacy" like pit bulls and keep the conversation from going someplace meaningful.
It's really quite easy for me to see the argument as, "Boys are singled out unfairly on the playground" with the rebuttal being, "Yeh, but sometimes girls are too, so it's
not really a policy against boys so much as a teachers favoring one group or another at different times. We are all treated
unfairly at an even rate." That is not a logical fallacy.
It only becomes a fallacy when the argument is explicitly that treating people unfairly based on gender is "okay" so long as you make sure everybody gets treated unfairly by gender at an even rate. That's not a justification, but it does have nuances such as it makes it hard for somebody to use gender discrimination as an excuse for not keeping up with their opposite gender peers when in fact both genders get the shaft at an even rate.