Interpret this church sign please

Nankay said:
This week the sign reads: "God doesn't have any grandchildren".

What does this mean?
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God is gay?
God is impotent?
God is pro choice?
God abandoned his kids?
God never fooled around?
God doesn't exist?
 
I think the correct answer (IIRC) for all god related questions is:

"It's part of the mystery" and/or "who are you to question god?"
 
articulett said:
Well, except that Jesus dude-- his favorite kid.

We may all be god's children, but he gave only one his godly DNA.
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Wait a minute, Jesus was Jesus' grandfather.

God made a virgin pregnant, she gave birth to God. So God was God's son. And since God was God's father it is clear that God was inevitably God's grandfather.

The Church clearly is run by a heretic.

God begat God ad infinitum, or ad nauseum, whichever comes first.
 
Not many women fall for the "it's there... it's just invisible" routine.

They prefer material entities for sex partners.

Or maybe that's just me.
 
Nankay said:
Deep down I suspect they made it purposely vague so as to lure folks in who just want to know WHAT THE DAMN SIGN MEANS.
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Ah, you can just see it at the marketing firm employed by Weekly Church Signage, LLC, on March 31, as the time rolled around for penalty clause to take effect on the contract they have with WCSLLC. The director is sweating bullets, and the poor writer, having been at it since 0400 the following morning, is getting close - only 7 more to do, but it's 11:40, and he only has 20 minutes left - gotta step up the pace. "Ah, ah, what rhymes with orange? Come on, guy, help me out", he says to his plastic Jesus. "um, um, OK, like an Orange in Sorange [that's a town in Wales - they don't have a Haggard megachurch there, do they? Probably not.] OK - only 6 more.", and he scrawls that one down, and the copy boy rips it of the stack of post-it notes and hand carries it down to the print shop. "Um, um, ok, time for a freebie. What can we say about god that I didn't already say this morning? Um, um, no cousins, no uncles, aunts, sisters or brothers - giggle, sound Chinese to me - wait, supposed to have children. Wait - no grandchildren? But what does it mean?" Looks up at the clock. "Who cares, only 16 minutes left", and the copy boy has another one.

Christians like living on the edge.
 
DoubtingStephen said:
Wait a minute, Jesus was Jesus' grandfather.

God made a virgin pregnant, she gave birth to God. So God was God's son. And since God was God's father it is clear that God was inevitably God's grandfather.

The Church clearly is run by a heretic.

God begat God ad infinitum, or ad nauseum, whichever comes first.
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This reminds me of a funny moment from Reno 911! (episode "Execution Tickets").

(Dangle and Junior out on patrol, looking for a perp over 6 foot 5 for a scavenger hunt)

Dangle: "Isn't one of your first cousins really really super tall?"

Junior: "Ya, but he just moved to Denver.....Ya, Uncle Steve, just moved to Denver."

Dangle: "He's your uncle? I thought he was your first cousin"

Junior: "Naw, naw naw.. Well it's both.. It's kind of a complicated thing.."

Dangle: "Oh I know"

Junior: "His Ma..."

Dangle: "I know, I know"

Junior: "...and my Grandma..."

Dangle: "I know.. their stump runs pretty tight"

Junior: "Ya.."
 
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I've heard this line in conversation. I forget the exact context, but the speaker meant something like, "everything is created by god, even the things you create are really created by god. It's not possible for any of god's creations to make anything."

I thought :boggled: and :confused:
 
DoubtingStephen said:
Wait a minute, Jesus was Jesus' grandfather.

God made a virgin pregnant, she gave birth to God. So God was God's son. And since God was God's father it is clear that God was inevitably God's grandfather.

The Church clearly is run by a heretic.

God begat God ad infinitum, or ad nauseum, whichever comes first.
Click to expand...

Mary: (Sung as a line from Purple Haze)
"Now I know why I'm so blue,
'Cuz my son is my lover, too!"
 
DoubtingStephen said:
Wait a minute, Jesus was Jesus' grandfather.

God made a virgin pregnant, she gave birth to God. So God was God's son. And since God was God's father it is clear that God was inevitably God's grandfather.

The Church clearly is run by a heretic.

God begat God ad infinitum, or ad nauseum, whichever comes first.
Click to expand...

You do know it's even worse than this? God made his own daughter pregnant...
 
It's a Quaker meeting house..does that offer any clues? Hmmm ..probably not.

At least I don't risk burning at the stake or Strike Force quality evangelism if I do call and ask.
 
Was it a methodist church that had the signs up? I always found near where I grew up if there was a church sign with some sort of pop culture reference they were nearly always methodists.
My favorite was Jesus coming out of a crucifix spaceship in a beam of light over the whitehouse (think independence day) saying
"CHRISTMAS DAY! Coming to a household near you"
 
It means that the grand tradition of vague and ambiguous religious writing is alive and well.
 
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