If Jesus would visit you, what would be the first thing you would do?

[Oliver]

Punch him in his face.

What would you do?

 

[Civilized Worm]

Kick him in the balls.

 

[Furi]

Take him to the fill every recepticle I could from the tap, and tell him Wine was OK 2000 years ago, now let's try Whisky and some fun lovin nekomimi.

Then gib him in the kidneys with a spoon

 

[Oliver]

Kick him in the balls.

Nah, cutting them off would be less painful.

 

[Civilized Worm]

But I want to see how far he's prepared to "turn the other cheek".

 

[Oliver]

But I want to see how far he's prepared to "turn the other cheek".

You mean you would kick his butt as well?

He's a crucifixion fetish masochist - what could you do anyway to degrade him?

 

[aggle-rithm]

Ask to see some ID.

 

[aggle-rithm]

Kick him in the balls.

At which point he would double over in pain, saying: "What the HELL?!? All I did was a few bad magic tricks 2000 years ago! I didn't even SAY most of that crap!"

ETA:

More likely he would say, "But, senor, I'm just here to mow your lawn!"

 

[JFrankA]

Actually, I'd offer him a drink (hey, he does drink wine...) and then I'd ask him all sorts of historical questions including what REALLY went on during his life compared to what the bible claims has happened.

Then we'd laugh and tell each other "jesus jokes".

See, I don't blame Jesus for all this Christianity crap. I blame the guys who took the stories and perverted it to creat a religion around it to make people feel guilty for being human or give them a reason to feel superior to others.

I mean, if no one bothered to write the stuff down, embellish it, then give it to a group of power-hungry people to make it a religion to their liking, we'd all be punching someone named "Sam" in the nose...

 

[JFrankA]

At which point he would double over in pain, saying: "What the HELL?!? All I did was a few bad magic tricks 2000 years ago! I didn't even SAY most of that crap!"

Exactly.

I bet he gets completely hammered on wine and then says "Let's get girls!!!! I wanna check out what a strip club is like!!!!"

 

[Oliver]

Exactly.

I bet he gets completely hammered on wine and then says "Let's get girls!!!! I wanna check out what a strip club is like!!!!"

This actually might be true - after all, he supposedly died as a martyr and he didn't even get a lousy T-shirt, nor any of the 72 virgins.

...Well, besides his mother. Boy, would I be pissed!

 

[Arthur Denton]

tell him about the million dollar challenge in order to prove his powas!

 

[learner]

Ask him why he is white with blue eyes? Oh, and get a haircut and a job, sponger!

 

[cgordon]

Check my meds ...

 

[Oliver]

Check my meds ...

Or put 'em aside...

 

[Marquis de Carabas]

Ask him if he wouldn't mind finishing up the hedges that Jose forgot to do.

 

[Civilized Worm]

Yeah cos that's what all hispanics do.

 

[Marquis de Carabas]

Yeah cos that's what all hispanics do.

Of course it isn't, but all my windows are clean already.

 

[Darth Rotor]

Kick him in the balls.

Now that was nasty. (ref our other discussion)

For the OP:

I'd crack open a few brews and invite Him in for a chat. I suspect he'd rather snack on bread and wine, however . . .

DR

 

[Civilized Worm]

I was just trying to one up Oliver, I wouldn't really kick him in the balls.