I Told You So!

[I Ratant]

Oh Noes I hadn't thought of that, I am going to have to make enquiries next time I board a Bus or Taxi or worse A PLANE, noooo I don't want to die just because some heeby jeeby bleefing pilot finally gets his rapture on. from now on I am only getting on planes flown by rabid moslem fundies

.
Ya gotcher quandary, ya do!
The problems the imaginary rapture would create, versus the real world of rabid *insert denomination here* fundies, who aren't imaginary.
"Racial profiling" is a necessary fact of life in the 21st Century.

 

[Horatius]

There's got to be Rapture insurance.

If there's not, I swear to El I'm gonna get my insurance license and start selling it.

And I'm not even remotely kidding.

I suggested this to a friend of mine. He pre-arranges funerals for a living, and has actually had people tell him they don't need to pay for a funeral, as they expect to be raptured up, and so there won't be a body lying around. I told him to offer them a plan where, if they did ascend to heaven, the fees they paid up front would go to their nearest sinner next-of-kin, with stipulations that they should use the money to fight the Antichrist, or something.

 

[shadron]

Your email could not be delivered; addressee raptured."

What a bummer way for a Christian to find out, hey?

 

[Piggy]

I suggested this to a friend of mine. He pre-arranges funerals for a living, and has actually had people tell him they don't need to pay for a funeral, as they expect to be raptured up, and so there won't be a body lying around. I told him to offer them a plan where, if they did ascend to heaven, the fees they paid up front would go to their nearest sinner next-of-kin, with stipulations that they should use the money to fight the Antichrist, or something.

There are just so many ways to make money off of this....

Why do I not feel dirty for wanting to actually do them?