How to get Pregnant

[aggle-rithm]

He pointed out that avoiding your mother in law, or cutting back at the hours at work, or just going on vacation to a BEACH instead of that Star Trek Convention (yes, he said that), can give your body the signal that it's baby time.

That's very interesting. When my wife and I were trying to have a baby, she was on a Star Trek convention kick. She went to three of them in a nine-month period.

We also had a vacation to the Florida Keys during that time, but found that there are NO BEACHES there (due to the coral reefs breaking the waves).

She finally got pregnant, but it was an ectopic pregnancy.

 

[Marc L]

I agree with you, though, that we guys clearly have the easy part in this.

If you consider 7 and a half months of watching your wife have health and mental problems, be hospitalized twice, and almost lose the baby once, finally to have to wait out in the waiting room because she needs to have an emergency C-section, then go through two months of watching the baby be intubated because of breathing problems, as well as dealing with your wife's mental health issues easy, then yes. We guys have it easy.

Marc

 

[Ben Tilly]

If you consider 7 and a half months of watching your wife have health and mental problems, be hospitalized twice, and almost lose the baby once, finally to have to wait out in the waiting room because she needs to have an emergency C-section, then go through two months of watching the baby be intubated because of breathing problems, as well as dealing with your wife's mental health issues easy, then yes. We guys have it easy.

Marc

Relative to what your wife went through, that's easy.

Cheers,
Ben

 

[Ben Tilly]

I'm going to need to see some citations before I believe that one. Not the claim that temperature matters, the claim that cell phones can increase temperature in one's testicles.

Research indicates that cellphones may be linked to male infertility: http://tech.msn.com/products/article.aspx?cp-documentid=1122023

Insert usual joke about research causing cancer in mice.

Cheers,
Ben

 

[pgwenthold]

Don't forget the part the man has to play in all of this. What can I say, each time 'we' got pregnant, it didn't seem too hard .

Even more remarkable.

Viagra is known to help, though

 

[Marc L]

Relative to what your wife went through, that's easy.

Cheers,
Ben

I agree somewhat. You're absolutely right, it was easier than what she went through. On the other hand, telling a guy who's lost his foot that he's doing better than the guy who lost a leg doesn't negate the fact that he's lost his foot.

Marc

 

[Starthinker]

I agree somewhat. You're absolutely right, it was easier than what she went through. On the other hand, telling a guy who's lost his foot that he's doing better than the guy who lost a leg doesn't negate the fact that he's lost his foot.

Marc

My dad always used to say "I was sad I had no shoes until I met the man who had no feet."

I will say that having the doctor hand me my baby and say, "here, clean this off" was one of the most surprising things that ever happened to me. You gotta love military hospitals. Followed by, "Now take it up to the third floor, where they'll give it a physical." Besides my wife and I there was the doctor and a nurse in the room. When my twins were born in a civilian hospital, by c-section a month early, I lost count at about 25 and I still have no idea who half those people were.

 

[articulett]

OMG

Look at these babies. (A fetal elephant kicking it's little feet!) http://www9.nationalgeographic.com/channel/inthewombanimals/video_preview_3.html

 

[skeptifem]

I seem to recall that for women to keep a regular cycle, they need a certain amount of body fat (and Barbie doesn't have that)... maybe that explains the 10 pounds?

Ive read a lot about eating disorders and body building- you have to scoop down to unhealthy levels of body fat in order to lose the cycle. Some get down to a low weight and still keep it. Its unlikely that its a widespread problem.

 

[skeptifem]

I agree somewhat. You're absolutely right, it was easier than what she went through. On the other hand, telling a guy who's lost his foot that he's doing better than the guy who lost a leg doesn't negate the fact that he's lost his foot.

Marc

No its more like helping a guy cut his foot off and then watch the medical emergency ensue, and complain about how hard it was to watch.

 

[Katana]

IMPORTANT TO NOTE: I am in no way minimizing what Marc L's wife went through. It sounds like she had an absolutely nightmarish experience.

I have seen times when family members, particularly spouses/partners, who, after watching the goings-on of obstetric emergencies, actually struggle more afterwards than the patient herself. I would ask no one to diminish the emotional impact of having to helplessly stand by while a loved one (and your unborn child) is in trouble and having to depend on and trust a group of strangers. I have been part of lengthy debriefings, if you will, after obstetric emergencies because we were so concerned about the emotional wellbeing of some patients' partners, family, and friends. The patient is not involved in them because she does have her own recovering to do without worrying about the impact on her family, but family members need to be able to process the experience, too.

Marc L should be permitted to speak about his without being made to feel like he is somehow undermining what his wife endured. He clearly understands that she suffered greatly. He shouldn't have to find himself on the defensive now when he talks about his own pain. That's not right.

 

[skeptifem]

He started making comments when someone said that men have it easy in comparison, it obviously offended him that someone would say that a woman having problems inside her own body is harder to deal with than watching it. Then he agreed that its harder for the woman, so I dont know where he stands exactly. ???


ive seen many a 'who has a harder life' contest on the internet, and the subject of undermining other peoples pain always seems to come up (wether poster a pretending like her paper cut is just as painful as poster b's broken jaw is undermining poster b's pain, or if its undermining poster a's, because we cant know how much either of them are hurting). I seem to settle into the camp that thinks that comparing some sorts of pain is definatley silly. I feel for the guy who has to watch, but no, I cant reasonably compare that to actually going through that inside your own body.

 

[aggle-rithm]

OMG

Look at these babies. (A fetal elephant kicking it's little feet!) http://www9.nationalgeographic.com/channel/inthewombanimals/video_preview_3.html

"Aw, how cute!...oh well, let's finish the abortion..."

 

[Marc L]

He started making comments when someone said that men have it easy in comparison, it obviously offended him that someone would say that a woman having problems inside her own body is harder to deal with than watching it. Then he agreed that its harder for the woman, so I dont know where he stands exactly. ???

Actually, I started making comments when someone said that men have it easy, period. And you're right, women go through a greater physical and mental ordeal while they're pregnant then the fathers do. I don't deny that anymore then I'd deny that a person who has had his leg removed is in a worse situation then a person who has only lost a foot.

What I object to is the idea that because fathers don't go through the same level of ordeal, or even the same ordeal, then their feelings/experiences don't matter, and they have it "easy".

I don't consider my wife's pregnancy an "easy" experience for me. Granted, I'm not the one who was hospitalized, and I'm not the one who had the C-section. However, I still had to be in the situation, and it wasn't "easy" by any stretch. It may not have been as hard as her situation, but that didn't make it "easy".

Marc

 

[Roboramma]

Actually, I started making comments when someone said that men have it easy, period.

Well, actually, he said, "I agree with you, though, that we guys clearly have the easy part in this."

I can see how you'd misread it, but when he says, "guys clearly have the easy part in this" note the section that I bolded. That part of his sentence puts it into a context of the other parties involved.

Of all the parts to play (clearly there are two), men have the easy one. Which is I think obviously true. Of course I can see how reading it you could still jump up and say, "It wasn't easy for me!". Which is fair enough, but I think misses Chaos' point.

Though I can sympathise with the frustration of watching someone else's suffering. When my mother was dying, we all (her family) went through a lot. But I think saying "we had the easy part" is still obviously true. Because relative to her suffering, ours was minor.

 

[Marc L]

Well, actually, he said, "I agree with you, though, that we guys clearly have the easy part in this."

I can see how you'd misread it, but when he says, "guys clearly have the easy part in this" note the section that I bolded. That part of his sentence puts it into a context of the other parties involved.

Of all the parts to play (clearly there are two), men have the easy one. Which is I think obviously true. Of course I can see how reading it you could still jump up and say, "It wasn't easy for me!". Which is fair enough, but I think misses Chaos' point.

Though I can sympathise with the frustration of watching someone else's suffering. When my mother was dying, we all (her family) went through a lot. But I think saying "we had the easy part" is still obviously true. Because relative to her suffering, ours was minor.

I would agree, if it was changed to "we have the easier part." Saying men have it easy negates anything that they might be going through. Even then, though, I'd still have issues, because I feel when people go through difficult situations, even if they're only "on the sidelines", their feelings are still valid. Saying "you didn't suffer as much as I did, therefore your feelings are invalid" is kind of insulting.

Compare it to your example. When your mother was dying, you suffered. I don't know you, but I imagine you felt (at the very least) sadness, if not some depression and anger. Now, how would you like it if I had come up to you at the time and said, "Yeah, it doesn't matter what you're feeling, because you're not the one dying"?

I don't want to sound like I want a pity party, because I don't. My wife's pregnancy was forunately successful, and both she and the baby are fine (thanks to the stubborness that runs in her side of the family ). When she was pregnant, however, I did appreciate those people who said to me, "So how are you holding up?" At the very least it was an acknowledgement that even though I wasn't suffering the event, I was at least being affected by it.

This is why I get upset when people say things like "Men have it easy" when referring to pregnancies. Granted, they're not the ones actually experiencing the physical pregnancy, but they are still experiencing it from their own view and those feelings are just as valid.

Marc

 

[articulett]

"Aw, how cute!...oh well, let's finish the abortion..."

They weren't aborted! They are all alive and born. Much of it is through 3-D ultrasound. National Geographic is have a special about it called in the womb.
Really. It's amazing. Watch the promo. They, apparently did one on humans with these new 3 D ultrasounds and they're doing one on multiple births and they have an awesome photo. The picture above is a dog fetus--alive--and still alive but no longer a fetus--but a pup...

 

[articulett]

This is why I get upset when people say things like "Men have it easy" when referring to pregnancies. Granted, they're not the ones actually experiencing the physical pregnancy, but they are still experiencing it from their own view and those feelings are just as valid.

Marc

I think the making and the growing of the kid, as well as the birthing of the kid...is all relatively easy to the raising of a kid. Now THAT is a labor intensive job. I'd say that in most of the above cases, women tend to have it harder--not that I'd trade, mind you. Men probably could use some more attention to their feelings regarding a pregnancy--but women could use that AND a nice foot rub.

 

[aggle-rithm]

They weren't aborted! They are all alive and born. Much of it is through 3-D ultrasound. National Geographic is have a special about it called in the womb.
Really. It's amazing. Watch the promo. They, apparently did one on humans with these new 3 D ultrasounds and they're doing one on multiple births and they have an awesome photo. The picture above is a dog fetus--alive--and still alive but no longer a fetus--but a pup...

Ah, well... I just remember when the first footage of a human fetus in the womb was recorded, they said it was not known whether the fetus might be harmed in the process, so it was done on a woman who was about to have an abortion anyway.

I guess risking the life of an animal fetus isn't as big an issue, so they went ahead and allowed it to go to full term...

Does anyone else find this ironic...?

 

[AgingYoung]

Ah, well... I just remember when the first footage of a human fetus in the womb was recorded, they said it was not known whether the fetus might be harmed in the process, so it was done on a woman who was about to have an abortion anyway.

I guess risking the life of an animal fetus isn't as big an issue, so they went ahead and allowed it to go to full term...

Does anyone else find this ironic...?

When parboiled children become acceptable dinners I might see the irony. I'm doing my darnedest to see it but so far I don't.

Gene