• Quick note - the problem with Youtube videos not embedding on the forum appears to have been fixed, thanks to ZiprHead. If you do still see problems let me know.

How do you handle proselytizers?

chefpeon

pastry peon
chefpeon
Joined
Jan 31, 2009
Messages
118
We have lot of Jehovah's Witnesses and Mormons coming onto our property in this small town, knocking on our door and wanting to have a discussion about their beliefs with my husband and I.

We both hate it, and my husband strongly thinks that to have someone trespass our domain to speak about their beliefs is reason for murder. Well, I exaggerate, but he gets so "red-in-the-face" mad when he is faced with them that even being civil to them is almost impossible. Yesterday, when another pair of Jehovies made their way to our door, he said, "If you don't come on to our property and talk about your beliefs, I won't come on to your property and talk about mine." They then took down his address so no more of "them" would come back to visit us. Supposedly.

Me, I'm a bit more tolerant. I know part of these people's belief system IS to proselytize. Although atheist myself, I am a tolerant atheist. After all, my family is Christian and I have to tolerate their beliefs all the time. They already know not to bring up going to church with me. I've already told them I'd go when hell freezes over. And, since there is no hell, I'm pretty safe in that regard. When people like Jehovies and Mormons want to shower me with the "good news" I always tell them I know the "good news" and thanks for coming by and have a great day. I don't get mad or angry like my husband.......I just believe in treating people the best way I can, no matter what kind of horse puckey they believe.

What do you all do when you are faced with proselytizers?
 
Have the Jehovah's Witnesses in your area taken to bringing small children (aged 5 to 9) with them to do the witnessing, on the theory that no one would be so cruel as to shut the door in the face of a child?

That was the latest around here. However, for some reason, door-to-door Jehovah's Witnessing seems to have dropped off lately. (And now I've probably jinxed myself.)

ETA: I simply say, "No, thank you," and close the door. Small child or not.
 
Last edited:
I firmly say that I'm not interested and close the door.

My ex-wife one time actually listened to them and accepted a brochure from them, and for over a year (until we left the country), they returned regularly. She never said anything to express an interest or acceptance of what they were preaching, but was merely being polite. They acted as if she was contemplating joining them.
 
I talk to them, and give them recommended literature.

In particular, I've had Jehovah's Witnesses come over, and had recommended they read The Meaning of It All, by Richard Feynman. They kept showing up from time to time, but each time, it was the same guy, but different people with him.

Each time they asked if I read their literature. I said, no, but did they read mine. They didn't.

Eventually they just stopped coming. Pity.

ETA: I proselytized myself in my fundie days.
 
Last edited:
I have pretty much the same reaction as Elizabeth I, a polite "No, thank you," and a firmly closed door. Although I will take their pamphlets as they make good fire starters (I don't tell them that, but it's true).

One thing I have noticed is that if the dog hears them coming first and starts barking, they generally do not approach the house. Maybe you should put a "Beware of Dog" sign in your yard.
 
I find that if you beat one or two to death and hang their bloodsoaked carcasses on your gate posts, it discourages others.
 
Just say, "No thanks." Then close the door.

Although I admit that sometimes the provocation can be extreme. Jehovoids are just pitiful, but Mormons -- I come from the West -- get my billy goat.

Last summer we had a Mormon pair in our neighborhood. This being Detroit, the one who did the knocking and talking was black -- yes, I said he was a black Mormon. He had a Utah sort of accent, so I suppose that like me he was born and bred out West. Probably quite innocent of LDS history.

It was a close-run thing. I very nearly chewed him in this wise. "What the HELL are YOU doing, playing the shill for Johnny Smith's @#$%^+ cult? The only reason they let you in is to save their tax-exempt status! Human folly is a deep well, but by god I think you're scraping the bottom of it!" Und so weiter. But I held my water and just did as above, and let it go.

Your husband and I should draw a pint to cool down.
 
I used to have a few JW show up every so often. I'd politely run them off and they'd always come back. One day I invited them in, listened to what they had to say, and even invited them back. The same folks that I'd invited in came back twice more. We had nice discussions. I haven't been visited by them, or any other JW, since. It's been 6 or 7 years.
 
I recommend giving them pamphlets about the Glory of Our Beloved FSM (May They be Blessed by His Holy Noodles!!)
 
My usual approach has been to simply say that I am not interested and wish them a nice day. This usually works.

However, about a month ago a pair of Jehovahs turned up and after I had given them my "not interested" response the man said "what!, you are not interested in the bible?"

This time I thought stuff it with your nonsense, I looked him in the eye and said calmy "no, personally I prefer non-fiction". The woman with him let out an audible gasp and he was speechless. I then wished them a nice day and they mumbled a similar reply and left. So far they haven't been back although I have seen them about the street.
 
They used to stop by a house I rented a room in all the time until one morning two young female Jehova's Witnesses knocked on the door (quite loudly) and I was in the shower. I answered the door because I thought it was something urgent (the knocking sounded like cops or someone pounding on the door.) When I saw who it was I dropped my towel while talking to them. They always sent two women to do their proselytizing and they were clearly uncomfortable staring at my junk.

They never came back. It could have been because I was also scratching my balls openly during the talk.

Hey, I had an itch.
 
Last time JWs came they ran away as soon as I opened the door. None since...

ETA: I was fully clothed.
 
Last edited:
Don't get too many. Two visits by Mormons in maybe the last five years.

The first time when I opened the door one of them asked me something like "Have you ever met Mormons like us?" and I told them that yes, I had, but never any as cute as you two. While they were stumbling for answer I just politely them them I was busy and closed the door.

The second time around, two again, I told them I was familiar with their religion and that it was not compatible with my fornication, sodomy and homosexuality. But thank you anyway, have a nice day.
 
Okay, in all seriousness, partly because my wife's step-mother and step-siblings are all Mormon, and pretty nasty about it...

Most of the time, we let them explain why they're there. We're never rude, but we say, simply, "Thanks for your time, but we're really not interested." If I need to explain, I simply say, "I'm an atheist, and I don't want to waste your time." In other words, I put it on them, and let it go at that.
 
I'm reminded of something Ducky mentioned years ago. He'd had a co-worker who insisted on playing Christmas carols at ear-bleed volumes, which made it hard as hell for him to get any work done. I don't remember what he did, but it bears mentioning that not all proselytizers are working door to door.
 
Roadtoad said:
I'm reminded of something Ducky mentioned years ago. He'd had a co-worker who insisted on playing Christmas carols at ear-bleed volumes, which made it hard as hell for him to get any work done. I don't remember what he did, but it bears mentioning that not all proselytizers are working door to door.
Click to expand...

I responded by asking her to use headphones and when she said no, I blasted Prong at top volume from my computer. Prong, for those not in the know, is not a happy sounding music and is exactly the type of music that scares the straights.
 
Ducky said:
I responded by asking her to use headphones and when she said no, I blasted Prong at top volume from my computer. Prong, for those not in the know, is not a happy sounding music and is exactly the type of music that scares the straights.
Click to expand...

No argument there:

 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top Bottom