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Hitler: Great Humanitarian

Marquis de Carabas

Penultimate Amazing
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According to recently released UN documents, Hitler could not have been involved in the Holocaust because he was in Africa the whole time distributing condoms to prevent the spread of AIDS and feeding starving children with crops he grew with only his own two hands and a mule. In one case, a small child approached him and he had nothing more to give, so he cut off his own leg so the boy and his village could have some supper.

Official UN Documents
 
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I believe that child was one Robert Mugabe who, so moved by the philanthropist's actions, resolved to follow in his footsteps.
 
Marquis de Carabas said:
According to recently released UN documents, Hitler could not have been involved in the Holocaust because he was in Africa the whole time distributing condoms to prevent the spread of AIDS and feeding starving children with crops he grew with only his own two hands and a mule. In one case, a small child approached him and he had nothing more to give, so he cut off his own leg so the boy and his village could have some supper.

Official UN Documents
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Your link is broken.
 
It's a myth that Hitler was a humanitarian, he was, however, once put on a humanitarian diet by his doctor.
 
Thank you for this valuable information. I will be writing to the publishers of school textbooks straight away.
 
The term "humanitarian" is one applied to a person who has no selective racially or ethnically-based preferances,

Definition:
: a person promoting human welfare and social reform :

Hitler doesn't qualify.
 
Radrook said:
The term "humanitarian" is one applied to a person who has no selective racially or ethnically-based preferances,

Definition:
: a person promoting human welfare and social reform :

Hitler doesn't qualify.
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What are you, some sort of anti-Hitlite?
 
The Central Scrutinizer said:
What are you, some sort of anti-Hitlite?
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What are you-some sort of pro-Hitlite?

BTW

It's "Hitlerite" not "Hitlite". If his name had been "Hit" then it would be "Hitlite" but since his name was "Hitler" then it is "Hitlerite". Basic English grammar.
 
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Radrook said:
The term "humanitarian" is one applied to a person who has no selective racially or ethnically-based preferances,

Definition:
: a person promoting human welfare and social reform :

Hitler doesn't qualify.
Click to expand...


Radrook, pssssssssssssst, us professionals professionally call such an OP and thread "parody".
 
The fact that Hitler allowed the British and French to escape from Dunkirk would seem to indicate Hitler was a humanitarian.
 
Yes, he was such a humanitarian that he allowed the Red Army to advance unmolested through Eastern Europe, unprovoked.
 
MaGZ said:
The fact that Hitler allowed the British and French to escape from Dunkirk would seem to indicate Hitler was a humanitarian.
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Most thigh-slappingly silly & stupid post I have ever seen. Not only does MaGZ not understand parody, he unwittingly parodies himself.
 
It's also reported that while living out his later years in comfort in Argentina (or was it Brazil?), Hitler read the story of a man who needed a new liver. He immediately cut out his own and mailed it to the man, who promptly ate it with some fava beans and a nice chianti.
 
Finally, dear Adolf gets his props! A hilarious joke from a Hitler gig:

You all know what a volt is and an ampere, don't you? Right. But do you know what a goebbels, a goering are? A goebbels is the amount of nonsense a man can speak in an hour and a goering is the amount of metal that can be pinned on a man's breast.
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Source

Oh, Adolf! To know you was to love you!
 
MaGZ said:
The fact that Hitler allowed the British and French to escape from Dunkirk would seem to indicate Hitler was a humanitarian.
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psst! The link says "http://mygodyoucanthavethoughtthiswasanactuallink.com/". And oh yes, he would have been a humanitarian. If one were to qualify Germans as being human only. Sadly for you, we Jews are still technically human and killing 6.6 million of us disqualifies him.
 
Sure he is just ask his friend Josef Mengele. Or maybe Josef Mengele was a zionist joo who worked for the Rothschilds? Oh yeah and the Warsaw Ghetto was just a holiday place in Poland? Nuremberg Race Laws were just a piece of paper right? Oh yeah and the Kristallnacht never happend. It was all the joos.
 
Marquis de Carabas said:
According to recently released UN documents, Hitler could not have been involved in the Holocaust because he was in Africa the whole time distributing condoms to prevent the spread of AIDS and feeding starving children with crops he grew with only his own two hands and a mule. In one case, a small child approached him and he had nothing more to give, so he cut off his own leg so the boy and his village could have some supper.

Official UN Documents
Click to expand...

Not to forget Il Duce's efforts in assisiting Abyssinian farmers by killing air and soil based pests by application of pesticides, this was truly an altruistic act, the disinfecting of the red cross field hospitals in the same manner thus allowing wounded enemy soldiers higher levels of hygeine for treatment, Field commanders also assisted by ingenious uses of devices such as field artillery and morters and changed the use of these military systems not to kill but to sterilise the area of potential pests and also turn over the soil without the need for conventional ploughing, how can anyone deny these further indications of the inherant humanitarian aspects of the axis powers in Europe.
 
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