Herman Cain would totally be winning this race right now

[Puppycow]

Herman Cain Says He’d Be Doing Better Than Loser Mitt Romney, Because Of Deep Thoughts

Chronic zipper-fumbling opportunist Herman Cain, possibly smelling blood in the water, briefly resurfaced late last week to tell reporters covering his speech at the University of Florida that he would likely have a “substantial lead” over President Obama if he’d been the Republican nominee. As our recent review of a book advocating Southern secession indicates, we are big fans of fantastically improbable alternate-reality stories, so, sure, Herman, go ahead and tell us all about it:

“The reason is quite simple: I have some depth to my ideas,”​

…said the man who quoted the wisdom of the Pokemon 2000 movie and whose deficit-ballooning “9-9-9″ tax proposal apparently originated in the video game “Sim City 4.”

 

[FreshHat]

I'd venture that Pee Wee Herman would be doing better than Mittens right now.

 

[Tricky]

You know, I have some respect for Hermain Cain. He has a very good sense of humor about himself, having done some very self-depricating bits with Colbert et. al. But he's an idiot if he seriously thinks he'd be leading right now. Honestly, I can't even tell when he's being serious and when he's just mugging for attention.

 

[gnome]

Do you think he knows?

 

[Sticky Fingers]

"You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run.
You never count your money when you're sittin' at the table...."

Cain is a guy who you have a beer and a good time with.

Nothing more.
Nothing less.

 

[Dorian Gray]

He would have the economy fixed in 30 minutes or less.

 

[Chris_Halkides]

9-9-9? Nein!

He would have the economy fixed in 30 minutes or less.

His 9-9-9 plan (or as some have called it, a 9-9-9-0 plan) was the dumbest economic idea I have heard out of a candidate's mouth in a long time.
"Bruce Bartlett, an adviser in the Ronald Reagan and George H.W. Bush administrations, says that 9-9-9 is unfair to working taxpayers. 'It’s the most upside-down tax plan that’s been put forward to tax the poor and the middle class,' he says. 'It’s rather insane it’s gotten as much attention as it has. It’s a waste of my time to attack it.'"

 

[varwoche]

Makes me notalgic for Herman, and the best Herman Cain thread ever. Whoever posted this is both wise and hilarious:

It's highly impractical to create a thread for each astoundingly imbecilic thing that Herman Cain says or does.

 

[MaGZ]

He would have the economy fixed in 30 minutes or less.

He would have the economy in a fix in 30 minutes or less.

 

[TimCallahan]

What Mittens needs to do now is, regardless of what question he is asked, look directly into the camera and say, "9, 9, 9."

 

[MattusMaximus]

I love watching the Republicans eat each other

 

[AlBell]

I love watching the Republicans eat each other

Maybe as much as Republicans enjoyed the egg on Democrat faces over the Walker recall results.

 

[MattusMaximus]

Maybe as much as Republicans enjoyed the egg on Democrat faces over the Walker recall results.

Meh, that's one state. I'll take the White House and U.S. Senate over Wisconsin

 

[Biscuit]

So of all the republican candidates which one had the deepest thoughts?

 

[AlBell]

Meh, that's one state. I'll take the White House and U.S. Senate over Wisconsin

Nov. 6 will answer that question too.

I don't disagree with your prediction being 'more probable than not'.

 

[hgc]

You know, I have some respect for Hermain Cain. He has a very good sense of humor about himself, having done some very self-depricating bits with Colbert et. al. But he's an idiot if he seriously thinks he'd be leading right now. Honestly, I can't even tell when he's being serious and when he's just mugging for attention.

He's an idiot if... [Fill in the blank with any of a number of things he's actually said or done, starting with: running for president with a history of sexual harassment and a multi-year extra-marital affair hanging over his head.]

I'll give him this: He ran for president with a purpose in mind (it wasn't to get elected), and he was fairly successful. Credit his engaging personality and brass nuggets for that.

 

[dc1971]

Maybe as much as Republicans enjoyed the egg on Democrat faces over the Walker recall results.

Ahh yes! Hypocrisy at it's best!

Good job, Al!!

 

[gnome]

So of all the republican candidates which one had the deepest thoughts?

Huntsman?

 

[R.Mackey]

So of all the republican candidates which one had the deepest thoughts?

Gingrinch in a rout. They weren't good thoughts, but they were deep.

I still like Huntsman. Would love to see him get some attention somehow, in whatever party he winds up.

 

[Quinn]

I still like Huntsman. Would love to see him get some attention somehow, in whatever party he winds up.

If the GOP actually did implode and he emerged as the head of the "Former Republicans Who Aren't ◊◊◊◊◊◊* Crazy" party, they would have my attention.