Out of curiosity, I googled my Skeptico username and found this thread, in which one of my forum posts was mentioned (one in which I expressed my taste in “adult entertainment”) and criticised. I realise that this is a relatively old thread, but seeing that my character has been attacked somewhat, I wanted to come and present a defence for myself.
Here is the part of my post that James quoted:
“Perhaps. I can't explain *why* some rape/forced videos sexually excite me, they just do. I think I'm possibly stimulated by the idea of a dominant man, perhaps. But of course, one can enjoy dominance in porn without looking at the rape/forced category.”
James said:
I It's seems to be filled with some very sick and mentally unbalanced people.
Well, James, I assume you were using the quotation from my post as an example of what you personally thought was “sick and mentally unbalanced”. If it’s your opinion that enjoying rape pornography makes me sick or mentally unbalanced, then that’s your opinion and you’re entitled to it. But I completely disagree and I think it’s rather judgmental of you if you think that enjoying that kind of pornography makes me a bad or sick person.
Firstly, rape acted out in pornography is not “real” rape. I despise the *real* act of rape and hope it never happens to me, nor would I wish it on anyone else. However, simulated rape, when acted out in pornography, is simply that – acting performed by two consenting adults. No one is being harmed.
I can’t help what stimulates me. People have different tastes. Are people sick or mentally unbalanced if they enjoy watching BDSM or have eccentric sexual fetishes? I don’t think so. People are different, and are stimulated by different things. As long as consenting adults are involved, then there is no problem (in my opinion.)
So yes – I sometimes watch pornography and sometimes choose to watch the forced/rape category. I’m not ashamed of it, and see no reason why I should be. I certainly don’t think it makes me sick or mentally unbalanced. You may feel differently, but, like I said, I think it is rather judgmental of you.
I also don’t think I am alone in being stimulated by that kind of pornography. I know Wikipedia is quite unreliable on numerous subjects, so perhaps it is the case for this too – but presuming, for the moment, that it has its facts right here, here is a quotation from a Wikipedia article on rape fantasy:
“Studies from the 1970s and 1980s have found rape fantasy was once a common sexual fantasy among both men and women. The fantasy may involve the fantasist as either the one being forced into sex or as the perpetrator. Some studies have found that women tend to fantasize about being forced or coerced into sexual activity more commonly than men. A 1974 study by Hariton and Singer [1] found that being "overpowered or forced to surrender" was the second most frequent fantasy in their survey; a 1984 study by Knafo and Jaffe ranked being overpowered as their study's most common fantasy during intercourse; and a 1988 study by Pelletier and Herold found that over half of their female respondents had fantasies of forced sex. Other studies have found the theme, but with lower frequency and popularity. However, these female fantasies do not necessarily imply that the subject desires to be forced into non-consensual sex in reality – the fantasies often contain romantic images where the woman imagines herself being seduced, and the male that she imagines is desirable. Most importantly, the woman remains in full control of her fantasy. The fantasies do not usually involve the woman getting hurt.”
Now to address the next part of your post:
Watching rape videos, how very spiritual!
You may not consider watching rape pornography to be “spiritual” (although I would argue that that is just your personal definition – can any one individual really make rules about what is and isn’t spiritual?) – but even if we accept that it is not a “spiritual” thing to do, why should I have to stop doing non-spiritual things just because I am interested in and, to a degree, practice spirituality?
I am not a person who lives, eats and breathes spirituality. I have other interests in my life, interests which people might call “non-spiritual” or that are non-related to spirituality. I’m not going to give up my fun and interests just because I’ve taken on some deeper spiritual hobbies as well.
I consider myself “spiritual” because I believe in spirits, the spirit world, an afterlife, and spiritual/paranormal phenomena such as astral projection and magick. I’m interested in those things and I find them fun and enjoyable (which for me is the most important thing – I want to have as much fun as I can – these things entertain me just as music entertains me, and I like being entertained.)
So that’s why I consider myself spiritual. But I’m not spiritual in what you would call my moral/ethical basis. My morals and ethics are not dictated by any spiritual system. I make my own moral and ethical basis and I stick by those.
I have numerous non-spiritual interests which include reading, music and sitcoms. I also like going to parties and (sometimes) getting drunk. (I’m young, in my twenties, I like to have fun with my friends.) These interests have nothing to do with spirituality. Yet should I stop doing these things simply because I’m into spirituality?
Some people might say yes. That’s their opinion. But I disagree.
There is room in my life for both my spiritual interests and non-spiritual hobbies. I’m not going to choose one over the other. I live my life the way I want to live it and my intention is to have a good time as much as I can, whether that’s by listening to music, watching sitcoms, reading books, involving myself in the occult, or, when I feel like it, watching pornography. I’m not hurting anybody, so I’m entitled to live the way I wish to. If you wish to judge me negatively, then, I have to say, that I don’t understand why you would. Just because I have unusual tastes in pornography? Plenty of people have eccentric sexual tastes. I don’t think we should all be judged so harshly, as long as our tastes involve consenting adults, which mine do.
are the sorts of people who run that website, says it all
I don’t run the website, far from it. I’ve no involvement with running it at all. You also describe me as one of the “main” members and in my opinion that’s an exaggeration. I don’t think I’ve even got 200 posts there? That’s far less than a lot of the other members have. I post there now and then, sometimes post regularly for a spell of several weeks, but I wouldn’t call myself anywhere near a “main” member.
I’m a nice person. I daresay if you met me, you’d probably like me. Some of my friends describe me as eccentric, but as far as I’m concerned, eccentricity is something to be proud of. I’ve communicated with Arouet and he can attest that I am a nice, kind, well-mannered person. I find it harsh and judgmental of you to criticise me for something which, in my opinion, is really no big deal. So I like watching a certain category of pornography. So what?