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Halloween Conspiracies

Yep. And they're true. It goes like this:

Halloween is an invention of the retail industry and advertisers bent on trying to fleece customers of money with entirely unnecessary spending around some makie-uppie event.

How's that grab you?
 
MikeG said:
Yep. And they're true. It goes like this:

Halloween is an invention of the retail industry and advertisers bent on trying to fleece customers of money with entirely unnecessary spending around some makie-uppie event.

How's that grab you?
Click to expand...

Actually, it's traditional in these parts.
 
Approximately every seven years or so, a fiendish plot emerges attempting to have Halloween moved to the last Saturday in October, supposedly so the children can stay out later, since they won't have school the next day. Oddly, it only seems to come up in years when Halloween lands on a Sunday.
 
MikeG said:
Yep. And they're true. It goes like this:

Halloween is an invention of the retail industry and advertisers bent on trying to fleece customers of money with entirely unnecessary spending around some makie-uppie event.

How's that grab you?
Click to expand...

That's it? I thought there was someone out there who'd believe that Voorhees is real and that the government was trying to cover-up his existence via all of his movies.

*puts on Tinfoil hat* Manhattan, what are you trying to hide!?!?!?!!111 :tinfoil
 
Halloween is cover for the real plot to open up the gateways and let the Old Ones return........if the stars are right.
 
Face it, Halloween is a fabrication by Big Sugar, Big Chocolate, and Big Corn Starch all under the guidance of a branch of the Illuminati run by Dentists - the Dentinati.

I was hoping at some point the Big Slutty Nurse Custume industry would get a seat at the table, but no.
 
Axxman300 said:
Face it, Halloween is a fabrication by Big Sugar, Big Chocolate, and Big Corn Starch all under the guidance of a branch of the Illuminati run by Dentists - the Dentinati.

I was hoping at some point the Big Slutty Nurse Custume industry would get a seat at the table, but no.
Click to expand...

Well, maybe not exactly a conspiracy theory, but there are some fundy's who are convinced that Halloween is really all about worshiping the devil and that proper Christians should have nothing to do with it.
 
Axxman300 said:
Face it, Halloween is a fabrication by Big Sugar, Big Chocolate, and Big Corn Starch all under the guidance of a branch of the Illuminati run by Dentists - the Dentinati.

I was hoping at some point the Big Slutty Nurse Custume industry would get a seat at the table, but no.
Click to expand...

Well, it does seem like Halloween is regarded by many females as an occasion to wear slutty costumes (nurse or otherwise). Most likely this is due to a conspiracy by Bad People to corrupt our morals.
 
CORed said:
Well, it does seem like Halloween is regarded by many females as an occasion to wear slutty costumes (nurse or otherwise). Most likely this is due to a conspiracy by Bad People to corrupt our morals.
Click to expand...


I remember a webcomic in which a succubus was on Earth for vacation. On Halloween, she was upset that the only costumes she could find were "Slutty This" and "Slutty That".
"But... I just wanted to be Cinderella."
 
MikeG said:
Yep. And they're true. It goes like this:

Halloween is an invention of the retail industry and advertisers bent on trying to fleece customers of money with entirely unnecessary spending around some makie-uppie event.

How's that grab you?
Click to expand...

But it's so much fun! My kids and I made a 22 foot mini-float to march in our local parades, and it was a blast. The only money Big Halloween got out of us was $12 at the Dollar Store for gothic plastic chains, and the rest went to hardware/craft shops.
 
Armitage72 said:
Approximately every seven years or so, a fiendish plot emerges attempting to have Halloween moved to the last Saturday in October, supposedly so the children can stay out later, since they won't have school the next day. Oddly, it only seems to come up in years when Halloween lands on a Sunday.
Click to expand...
What about years where it lands on Tuesday? I think its a better idea to have it on friday. That way kids can go to school in costume on halloween and then go straight to trick or treating.

Some X-tians think its a satanic holiday and refuse to celebrate.

When I was a kid there was a panic regarding tampered candy. Even in my hometown of roughly 1500 people we were advised to not take any homemade treats and to have parent carefully check wrappers. Seriously we knew everybody but my parents were worried the avon lady was slipping razor blades into apples? That's more of a moral panic than a conspiracy. Maybe there was a conspiracy by big candy to keep people form handing out homemade treats?
 
I tremble to think how many Wonder Woman and Pennywise the Clown Costumes I will see today.
 
Razor blades in apples, needles in candy, poison in candy, etc.



By the way, civil authorities have no constitutional power to "move Halloween" to a different day. Since it is a religious holiday, they have no such power over it. But supine citizens just lie back and take it! :mad:
 
Beerina said:
Razor blades in apples, needles in candy, poison in candy, etc.
Click to expand...


Conspiracy by media companies at the behest of heavy advertiser candy companies, to limit trick-or-treat handouts to manufactured individual wrapped candy items, effectively ruling out apples, homemade baked goods and other DIY treats?
 
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