Grief erodes faith

[zakur]

A Cold Shoulder for God

There was a time when Rosa Gonzalez could tell several stories about God granting her blessings, and she expected to tell another one about her son coming home from war.

Don't worry, Rosa wrote to her son, as he prepared in the sands of Kuwait for war in Iraq. God has always pampered me. You will come back.

God, it seemed, had never failed to listen to Rosa. There was the time, years ago, when she stood under a lemon tree in her El Monte backyard and asked God to protect her husband, a long-distance trucker, on the road. On that cold night there wasn't a hint of rain, but lightning flashed and the sky conjured up a warm breeze, sweeping her face.

"I feel you, God. Thank you," Rosa remembered saying. "Everything is going to be fine."

But her second child, 20-year-old Jorge, died in battle, leaving Rosa to ask how God could take away her son. It's a question mothers have always asked in war, and Rosa, 47, is now struggling with her faith, wrestling with God.

She bristled when parents of other soldiers said in television interviews that they knew why their children had returned safely — because of God.

"Didn't my prayers mean just as much?" she asked him.

Since Jorge's death, she has questioned her government, questioned the motives for the war. She has questioned the wisdom of leaving Mexico for the United States — whether her adopted country betrayed her. The cold shoulder, however, she has saved for God.

This is a commonly occurring theme in tragedies. Last spring when Elizabeth Smart was rescued from her kidnappers, her parents went on and on attributing the rescue to God. Parents of other missing and abducted children wonder why God didn't listen to their prayers.

For Rosa, going to church took on the drudgery of the routine — if she went at all.

"I used to go with my heart in my hand," she said. "Now, I go because it's a Sunday, and that's what you do."

She no longer asked God for anything. As her last prayers turned into earnest pleas for miracles — that authorities had made a mistake, that Jorge was still alive — her faith began to lose its timbre, like a fading echo.

She still believed, though; still believed God deserved respect.

"I'm not a hypocrite," Rosa said. "The way I feel right now — angry at him, hurt — I'm not going to ask him for anything. I'm not talking to him."

She says she's not going to ask for anything because she's not a hypocrite, but her reason for continuing to attend church is just "that's what you do." IMO, this is still hypocritical.

Rosa is angry at God, and yet it's true, she said, that she loves him as an indulged child does a father who, at a critical moment, withholds a favor.

"I think one day I'm going to have to look for God and ask for forgiveness," she said. "I'm just not ready."

Rosa is looking for an answer - unfortunately she won't find one. She hasn't lost her faith completely. Eventually she will swallow the line that "God works in mysterious ways and we can never truly know his intentions." She will return to the flock even with this modicum of the faith she once had.

 

[Lord Kenneth]

That's because she prayed to the wrong God.

Now, if only she prayed to the Great Lord Kenneth Omnipotent....

 

[Paul C. Anagnostopoulos]

Zakur said:

This is a commonly occurring theme in tragedies. Last spring when Elizabeth Smart was rescued from her kidnappers, her parents went on and on attributing the rescue to God. Parents of other missing and abducted children wonder why God didn't listen to their prayers.

And the parents whose "prayers were answered" don't seem to realize these implications of their publicly thanking god. Tacky.

~~ Paul

 

[Darwin]

They always come up with some ad hoc explanation.I think the very God in itself is just another ad hoc hypothesis to describe something."God is not an answer machine","God works in mysterious...".
It seems to me there are at least two kinds of ideas to interpret "God involvement".
Hypotethical:
"A small child gets hit by a truck but survives.The mother of whom goes "Angels/God etc. was surely with him/her" ".
That is,should something like this happen,a positive (or relatively lucky) outcome is to be associated with a God.

2nd type:
"An old man´s vital artery gets blocked,resulting in a heart attack and death"."God was calling for him",it is said.
I have witnessed analogous incidents in my life.

 

[Shinytop]

A predictable occurrence when placing faith in a God that is so all powerful that it requires the worship of such lowly beings. Mysterious ways, my ass. It's life and prayer and agoing to Sunday School will not change a damn thing.

When parents of dead infants cry out wondering how God can let this happen I have even more contempt for the religions of the world and their bilking loving caring people of their money and time in hopes of gaining a better world.

 

[Brown]

Unfortunately, there is at least one other interaction between grief and faith. Some people, upon suffering a painful loss of a loved one, embrace their faith so intensely that they lose the ability to act rationally.

If any of you have seen this happen, then you know it is a very sad thing to see.

 

[Yahweh]

[cynicism]I dont know how many other people got the impression that this Rosa woman comes off a bit arrogant and selfish. Death is a harsh reality of war, this Rosa doesnt appear to be aware of that. She asks and asks and asks from God (which by the way underminds the good hardworking people in the world, how can she attribute man-made success to devine intervention), then she blames God for the natural harsh reality of war. Hmmm, although God is some kind of fantasy she invented in her head, she seems a little misdirected in her grief.[/cynicism]

 

[elliotfc]

Rosa is looking for an answer - unfortunately she won't find one. She hasn't lost her faith completely. Eventually she will swallow the line that "God works in mysterious ways and we can never truly know his intentions." She will return to the flock even with this modicum of the faith she once had.

She is a human being dealing with grief. Rub her nose in it as you will, flippantly dissect her feelings, predict how the brain-numb sub-intellect will carry on.

It must be comforting to examine human beings, deconstruct them, and uncover hypocrisy.

That death makes humans angry, sad, despondent, is natural. That is why God became a human being, and died. In that fact, Christianity offers consolation.

I see what this forum has to offer. Bravo for being Nietzschean supermen. We all swallow what we will, and spit other things.

-Elliot