Good Luck, America

[Dr Adequate]

It is said that when America votes for a president, we also elect a CEO for the world.

And on behalf of the rest of the world --- could I ask you to try a little harder this time?

 

[Brown]

I'll just be glad when today is over... I can enjoy the relative peace of my phone not ringing ten times a day asking me to support C, X, or G, and the door not being assailed 12 times a day for the same thing. Instead, I can enjoy the rioting and general mayhem of the 'losing' party as they dismantle Cincinnati in a frenzy of wanton destruction...

In the past week, I got flyers stuck in my front door every day. It's wonderful how the candidates are so helpful to the neighborhood burglars, placing little notes on my front door that tell the world "Nobody's home!"

On Sunday, I received several calls asking for support of a candidate. I try to be polite, but these callers quickly wore out my patience. First, they all called on behalf of the same candidate. It was as if a bunch of people at phone banks all got the same lists of phone numbers. My phone number was on a lot of callers' lists. Second, these folks did not take my polite response for an answer. They had their little script that they were supposed to read whenever a voter expressed anything other than support for the candidate, and they all stuck to their stupid little script.

At first, I was polite, and then when I heard the script, I just hung up. The second time, I said something like, "You folks have already called me earlier today, and I told you my answer." The third time, I said something like, "This is the third time you've called me. I've told you already, I'm a 'decided' voter! Take my number off your list! Don't call here again!" The fourth time ....

It didn't help that the calls came in the middle of a Vikings game, and that the Vikings were getting beat.

Anyway, today I voted for that candidate's opponent, and felt darn good about it.

 

[Anathema]

In the past week, I got flyers stuck in my front door every day. It's wonderful how the candidates are so helpful to the neighborhood burglars, placing little notes on my front door that tell the world "Nobody's home!"

Thankfully, I live in a dead-set non-battleground state. All of my candidtates will sail to victory in the locals, and the state's electoral votes will go for the candidate I prefer, without question. I haven't heard a single peep from phone campaigners, and received not a scrap of direct mail since way before the primaries --- and they were just panhandling for cash.