God's Wife

[Bill Thompson]

The Mormon God is named Eloheim and he has many goddess wives and they make human souls by endless celestrial sex (who are born into temporary physical lives on Earth to be tested to see if they pick the right religion).

Be a good Mormon and you too can (be a god in the next life and) have your own planet to populate with your goddess wives. Beats the hell out of Islam.

 

[Beerina]

It's not the Ashera pole, it's Ashera's pole, she was a pole dancer, AKA a stripper. Prolly gave lap dances, too.


Why would God need a girlfriend? He already knows what every possible sexual encounter with her would be like. Or 3-ways with Ashera and Olivia Wilde, but Olivia Wilde with 6 seventeen pound breasts.

 

[Bill Thompson]

It's not the Ashera pole, it's Ashera's pole, she was a pole dancer, AKA a stripper. Prolly gave lap dances, too.


Why would God need a girlfriend? He already knows what every possible sexual encounter with her would be like. Or 3-ways with Ashera and Olivia Wilde, but Olivia Wilde with 6 seventeen pound breasts.

The Mormon god is not a "god of the universe" but more like some sort of superman alien. It is something, I guess, the people in the 1830's would think of as god would be like. Their god only created Earth, not the whole universe.

So pick Mormonism and become a god in the next life, just like our spiritual father did.

 

[Leumas]

The Mormon God is named Eloheim and he has many goddess wives and they make human souls by endless celestrial sex (who are born into temporary physical lives on Earth to be tested to see if they pick the right religion).

Be a good Mormon and you too can (be a god in the next life and) have your own planet to populate with your goddess wives. Beats the hell out of Islam.

And Christianity too..... in christianity the afterlife is nothing but eternal heavenly servitude to god and jesus with interminable chanting and prayer in praise for the divine dictators seated on jewel-encrusted golden thrones.