While sleeping at home, without an AK assault rifle that sprays bullets anywhere in sight, she is awoken by the sound of possible intruders breaking into her/his home. She follows the sounds and finds 3 masked strangers armed with a knife and brass knuckles. At this point, she realizes these must be 3 disadvantaged teenagers who entered the wrong house by accident or maybe were going door to door trying to sell their weapons. She then offers the children something cold to drink and if they would like to make themselves more comfortable.
When the kids explain they are there to rape and pillage her, then rob her blind, she asks if they would be so kind as to use condoms, and volunteers the location of her most valuables. When the poor lads finish their business, she promises not to call the authorities, and whips up some sandwiches and cookies to go. She also hands them some Rape/Burglary Anon pamphlets.
Now all is well in pink unicorn land.
