Fwd: This is sooooo creepy

Lisa was 8 years old for a good 15 years or so, so perhaps it's like inverse dogs years or something?

I got a phone call after reading this too, and no I dont want double glazing, thank you very much!
 
Here's one I found that I liked - from here

THE CHAIN LETTER OF PAUL THE APOSTLE TO THE CORINTHIANS

The Chain Letter of Paul the Apostle to the Corinthians WITH CHARITY
ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE This epistle comes to you from Philippi. Grace
be to you and peace. Spiritual gifts will be delivered unto you within
four days of receiving this letter--providing you in turn send it on.

2. This is no joke. Send copies to whomsoever among the gentiles or
superstitious peoples of other denominations you would comfort in all
their tribulation. Do not send material things. Charity vaunteth not
itself, is not puffed up.

3. While visiting the Household of Stephanas, a Macedonian proconsul
received the epistle and was greeted by his brethren by a holy kiss.
But he broke the chain, and now he is become as sounding brass or a
tinkling cymbal.

4. Gaius bestowed all his goods to feed the poor, and gave his body to
be burned, but it profited him nothing. He failed to circulate the
letter. However, before his death, he received the unleavened bread of
sincerity and truth.

5. Do note the following: Crispius had the gift of prophecy, and
understood all mysteries, and all knowledge, and had all faith, so
that he could remove mountains. But he forgot that the epistle had to
leave his hands within 96 hours, and now he is nothing.

6. In A.D. 37, the epistle was received by a young Galatian woman who
put it aside to copy and send out later. She was plagued by various
problems: thrice she was beaten with rods, once she was stoned, and
thrice suffered shipwreck. On the last day of these occasions, she
spent a night and day in the deep. Finally, she copied the letter. A
trumpet sounded, and she was raised incorruptible.

7. Remember: Believeth all things, hopeth all things. The chain never
faileth.


St. Paul

_____________________________________________

There are some more anti-chain mails at the above site.

Have fun!
 
Lisa Simpson said:
I just got a phone call!


My son's new orthodontic appliance snapped off and he needed me to fix it.

I DIDN'T WIN THE LOTTERY!!!
Click to expand...

The bad luck started what more proof do you need? I would write them back and ask to borrow some money since they are all billionaires now. Unless they wasted their wishes on a sandwich.

I feel sorry for the kid that wished his dad would go AWOL he will likely do a few months in prison and kiss his retirement goodbye.
 
NOT ONE OF YOU BASTARDS HAVE CALLED ME!




What..?

That's not the way it works? Really?

Sorry. Disregard previous outburst.






Here's the mailman... Hey, I'VE WON THE LOTTERY!!!
 
Lisa Simpson said:
Well, I wished to win the California Lottery. That would be truly amazing since:

a) the lottery isn't drawn on Thurdays
b) it is drawn at night, not in the morning.
c) I didn't play

Amazingly enough, 38 minutes have passed since I made the wish and the phone has not rung, nor have I won the lottery. Although I am slightly stunned at the person who sent this to me. I always thought she was fairly rational.
Click to expand...

Hey there, Lisa Simpson!

Boy, I've really gotta tell ya, just how FAST I lose nearly ALL respect for those whom I thought were rationally-minded individuals because of some childishly ridiculous chain letter that they had insisted on sending me.

The next time anyone sends you such time-consuming nonsense, feel free to copy and paste this following message (I guarantee you, they'll NEVER send you another chain letter again!!! Feel free to revise/edit/delete/etc. depending on the nature of the letter, requests, demands, etc.):




First off, thank you for this very beautiful poem! I've always had the utmost respect and regard for your friendliness and warmth, and still do to this day. With that said...

I also regard you as a very bright and intelligent individual as well, but quite frankly, with the receipt of this message, I'm now beginning to question that assumption. Yes, I DO trust that your intentions are sincere and noble with this message you had sent me. However, here are just a few questions, along with an interesting analysis of my own, that I'd like you to ponder for just a moment the next time you decide to send me such a message. No...I'm not trying to change your mind on the matter; my only intent is to have you thouroughly EXERCISE it:

(1)

Why must we insist on "passing this letter around" to "at least 10 of our friends within 3 hours of receiving it," just to show them that we "love" them??? Are our friends already in on this sceme so to test our loyalties to them??? And if I don't send this message out to them within 3 hours, are they going to become SO crestfallen and heartbroken to the point of taking their own lives away, so to make us feel guilty for "neglecting" them??? Boy, with friends like that, who needs an enemy! If indeed someone is THAT desperate for friends, don't you think that the counsel of a well qualified psychiatric professional would do better justice in helping such individuals deal with their emotional inadequacies and social difficulties? If you were suddenly bit by a poisonous snake what what you rather do? Wait at your computer for your friends to email you as the venom slowly runs through your veins, or simply call 911 and be rushed to the nearest emergency room???

(2)

To hasten such a request by including the threat of a vile and heinous streak of "bad luck" upon your "friend" if he/she doesn't sent this letter out to 10 of their friends within 3 hours seems to be putting an unnecessary strain on an otherwise healthy realtionship, and one that would certainly begin to deteriorate the foundation of trust between the two of you, don't you think? Shouldn't TRUE friendship be UNCONDITIONAL??? Meaning that you DON'T expect them to do any extradordinary favors for you; all you ask is for their empathetic ear and their good company??? If you really DID love your friends, then why ask them to go out of their way to send this same message that we had received (from a friend of a friend of a friend, ad infinitum) and run the theoretical risk of spreading a potential computer virus??? Don't we have much BETTER things to do with our precious time? Such as help our kids with our homework, or maybe cook a meal for our spouses? Don't you think that these activities show much more SINCERE, GENUINE and RESPECTFUL love than to unintentionally corrupt and disable your friend's PC, just because the directions in the letter simply tell you to send it out to them within 3 hours??? Besides, what if your friend happened to be ready on his way to a very important job interview JUST AS HE WAS ABOUT TO CLOSE HIS INBOX when all of a sudden....BAM! You hit him with this message at that exact moment. Because he has a "3 hour time limit" before the doom and gloom of "bad luck" sets in, he immediately scrambles to find the email addresses of 10 different people, but in the process, wastes valuable minutes of his precious time that could have been well better spent already on the road to his interview, beating traffic. Now he leaves late, arrives late, and in his frenzied haste, studders and stumbles during the interview process. Needless to say, he DOESN'T land the job (think about that: Would YOU hire someone like that to work for your company?) Yet, because he in fact DID send this letter out to ten different people within the alotted time limit, he still has bad luck. Go figure...

(3)

"Luck," my friend, is merely the result we reap through the process by which our level of preparedness meets with the right opportunity, and has absolutely nothing to do with some silly superstitious nonsense. In my example, the friend was clearly prepared for the RIGHT opportunity (i.e. the important job interview). Yet because he came across this letter, and was thorougly unprepared for the WRONG opportunity (i.e. sending out this letter to 10 people within 3 hours), he simply experienced what we call "bad luck." You follow??? Simply put: The harder we WORK at preparing ourselves for the various opportunities that life has to offer us (NOT by annoying our friends by sending some childishly silly "chain letter" but rather through the persistent cognitive development of our mental, social and emotional faculties), the better we become at intelligently distinguishing which opportunities are the RIGHT ones for us. The more we become cognitively aware, the better we are able to seize these opportunities and thereby experience "good luck."

(4)

Ask yourself: What would happen if you NEVER broke such a chain letter? Usually, people worry about the opposite scenario...what will happen if they DO break a chain letter. A typical chain letter, like the one you had just sent me, details all the dreadful, heinous things that can happen to those who receive the letter, and who dare to "defy the vile chain letter gods" by not following its instructions. Typically, this amounts to nothing more but very clever and persuasive fiction writing ability. All it takes is a well developed vocabulary, a strong working knowledge of proper grammar and an overall comprehensive command of the English languauge and ta-da! ANYONE can start a chain letter! Sometimes, also enclosed are actual handwritten endorsements of the letter, signed by several "Hollywood" celebrities, as if that somehow adds to the mystical quality of the thing! How can we be so sure that these endorsements are, in fact, genuine? Or the testimonies too, for that matter?

In a weird kind of way, however, the consequences of NOT breaking a chain letter can be MORE disastrous and mind-boggling. The letter's request is simple enough: make five copies of the letter and mail it to five friends. Sounds harmless enough, but consider this: If everyone complied with the request, the number of letters and people involved would snowball to enormous numbers in a surprisingly short time. It is what is called the "and they told 2 friends" phenomenon. It would go as follows: You send 5 letters to 5 people, then those 5 people send letters to 25 people, then those 25 send letters to 125 people, THEY send letters to 625 people, and the progression continues to grow until after just 15 cycles of the chain letter process, where the number of people receiving the letter would reache and incredible 6,103,515,625! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

The volume of letters would quickly exceed the population of the world and, as the process repeats itself, would continue to spiral to astronomical proportions with each successive mailing. Each individual on the planet would be receiving and sending uncounted, never-ending letters, thus crippling the world's postal system and allowing little time to do anything but copy and mail letters, thereby leaving ZERO time for even sex and raising a family!!!! Leading to the end of human civilization itself!!!! YOU...do the math!!! Think about that!!!


(5)

If you still people that chain letters do indeed work, and can PROVE beyond the shadow of a doubt, in a controlled setting with proper observing conditions (so that the chances of "cheating" are ZERO), the James Randi Educational Foundation WILL offer you a $1 million prize!

Check out the weblink yourself: http://www.randi.org/research/index.html

You might want to also check these other informative, educational websites out:


http://www.skepdic.com/chainletter.html

http://www.cs.rutgers.edu/~watrous/chain-letters.html

http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/inboxer.asp

http://www.truthorfiction.com/

http://search.atomz.com/search/?sp-...date-range=-1&sp-x=any&sp-c=100&sp-m=1&sp-s=0


Last but not least, if, after thouroughly reading my reply and investing the above weblinks yoursef, you are still of the persuasion that sending such email messages is a very productive and practical worthwhile investment of your time and energy, with all due respect, I kindly ask that you NOT send me such messages.

However, don't let this stop you from dropping a note every now and then just to say "hi" or to tell me about a movie screening, or even to tell me a funny joke. That's fine, and if you want to be superstitious, that's OK by me too; that's YOUR business and I'm not going to judge you either way for it. All I ask is that you respect my opinion on the matter, that's all...

Just to be fair and open-minded, if you DO happen to have an equally compelling argument, with solid supporting evidence (NOT testimonial or anectodol...There IS a difference!) that completely debunks everything I've just said, please let me know (as well as the Jame Randi Educational Foundation...after all, you stand to become a millionare!), I promise you, I'll be ALL ears.
 
Re: Re: Fwd: This is sooooo creepy

tommyz said:
(5)

If you still people that chain letters do indeed work... [/I]
Click to expand...


Whoopsy daisy. This should read "If you still BELIEVE that chain letters do indeed work..."
 
Lisa Simpson said:
Also, having done the math, it appears that Katie with the bad boss is actually 80 years old, not 20.
Click to expand...

It also appears that Ann is lying about her age. Was she 45 years old when she waited 45 minutes to meet the Fed-Ex guy, or is she 45 now?
 
Re: Re: Fwd: This is sooooo creepy

Wow, this is creepy! A mere 10 minutes after reading this (evidently I'm younger than I thought), my phone rang. It never ring! This was the first time! Now I'm kicking myself because all I wished for was a wrong number.
 
Re: Re: Fwd: This is sooooo creepy

tommyz said:
Hey there, Lisa Simpson!

Boy, I've really gotta tell ya, just how FAST I lose nearly ALL respect for those whom I thought were rationally-minded individuals because of some childishly ridiculous chain letter that they had insisted on sending me.

The next time anyone sends you such time-consuming nonsense, feel free to copy and paste this following message (I guarantee you, they'll NEVER send you another chain letter again!!! Feel free to revise/edit/delete/etc. depending on the nature of the letter, requests, demands, etc.):....[/I]
Click to expand...

Too time consuming. Lisa did more than I would ever do (she just posted it here). I just ignore them.

I have had a friend ask about the chain letter in a conversation (in real life). I usually tell them that they are either deleted or if they are on real paper put into the recycle bin. Something I've done since the days they used to come in my mailbox before there was every email.

Earlier this year my daughter got the surface mail version of http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/nothing/guinness.htm ... She was quite relieved when I told her it was perfectly okay to ignore it. Which is what I'll tell her again when she comes home from school today --- A friend of hers sent her a chain-email that also included a copy to me.
 
Re: Re: Re: Fwd: This is sooooo creepy

Hydrogen Cyanide said:
Too time consuming. Lisa did more than I would ever do (she just posted it here). I just ignore them.

I have had a friend ask about the chain letter in a conversation (in real life). I usually tell them that they are either deleted or if they are on real paper put into the recycle bin. Something I've done since the days they used to come in my mailbox before there was every email.
Click to expand...


Good for you. I used to simply just ignore them myself, but these morons never seem to get the hint and keep on incessantly baraging my inbox with this childish crap. A few years back, at my old job, one of these stupid chain letters just so happened to contain a virus which shut our systems down for the rest of the day. The poor imbecile responsible for sending this letter was immediately terminated (and rightfully so, since the chain letter had absolutely NO relevance to his or our jobs). The only good thing that came out of that was at least we got the rest of the day off!!! :D

Seriously though, ignoring them is NOT enough. If you truly value your time and your personal computer safety, integrity and overall efficiency, immediately ask the recipients --as politely and respectfully as possible-- to stop sending you such messages immediately. I don't care about "copyright" infringements, and it only takes a matter of just a few seconds to copy and paste my rebuttal, so please feel free to do so to your heart's content; this is exactly why I've posted it here. It has nearly, with almost 100% efficiency, stopped EVERY chain letter idiot from ever sending me his/her chain letter message. And if you meet them in person, feel free to bring my points up within the context of the conversation (you'll leave them SO speechless, that the looks of astonishment upon there faces will crack you up!!!) ;)
 
I never open emails with attachments, unless I know exactly what it is. I check their properties to see what it is and who it is from.

If is from someone I actually care about I will send them a seperate email asking telling them that I will not open an attachment or read an email that is not specifically addressed to me --- since it is how viuses are spread. I did this with an email sent to me by my sister-in-law... this made my brother (her hubby) check into the email. Since he is a computer guy who deals with electronic security, he understood my concerns. So he explained them to his wife. Unfortunately, she still sends me cute stories and other detritis... some people are harder to educate. I just delete them.

I did the same thing for my hubby's mother and sister. I explained exactly why I hate the forwarded stuff, including showing where it was false (I love www.snopes.com ). They think I'm just cranky and still send the crud they get along --- but at least they dropped me from their list.

Once in a while I get emails from people who I am barely acquainted with and even some who I have absolutely no clue who they are. Those I delete without a second thought.

By the way, ANYone who sends a chain letter or other goofy missive from a work computer should be shown the door (okay, maybe get a warning once or even twice). I have seen that happen, though it depended on the employee -- once it was an excuse to get rid of an irritating personality.
 
Kenny 10 Bellys said:
...
I got a phone call after reading this too, and no I dont want double glazing, thank you very much!
Click to expand...
"Double glazing?" What is that, some new type of bukkake?




Yes, yes... I did Google it. But this was still funny. To me, anyway...
 
After much consideration, I realized the email did bring me good luck. I got a job yesterday.

Let's see. I got the email at 9:30 am and the job at 3:30pm that's 6 hours...times 60 minutes...6 times 6 is 36...add the zero. Holy Yoda, Batman!!! I'm 360 years old!


When 360 years you reach, look as good, you will not.
 
I wished to never recieve another chain letter. twenty three minutes leter my inbox is still clean.
 
Lisa Simpson said:
Well, I wished to win the California Lottery. That would be truly amazing since:

a) the lottery isn't drawn on Thurdays
b) it is drawn at night, not in the morning.
c) I didn't play

Amazingly enough, 38 minutes have passed since I made the wish and the phone has not rung, nor have I won the lottery. Although I am slightly stunned at the person who sent this to me. I always thought she was fairly rational.

Also, having done the math, it appears that Katie with the bad boss is actually 80 years old, not 20.
Click to expand...
:( I feel so bad, because just today I got the same letter and wished no one would the California lottery today. (Sorry!)
 
Hm, my phone rang shortly before I read this thread, and not since. I wonder what that means.


Usually when I receive these emails I just delete them. But if they make some kind of claim, I do a little bit of homework, and send a debunking with links to all the people who were on the same list who I know. Did it today with a spurious virus warning - "BIGGGG TROUBLE !!!! DO NOT OPEN "WTC Survivor " It is a virus that will erase your whole "C" drive.. ", indeed.



As to what to say to the people who sent you a chain letter in the first place- I tend to refer them to the CSICOP Chain Letters Anonymous page, where these items can be disposed of safely, yet still not jeopardising your chances of winning the lottery/inheriting Microsoft/developing superpowers/having some kind of meaningful contact with the opposite sex/whatever else you wished for.
 
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