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Finding an atheistic sort of spirituality?

quarky

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As I get older, and lose my physical self-esteem and confidence, as well as certain hormonal imperatives, I have come to the need of a simple guiding light type of philosophy:

I asked myself, the other day:

How many people would you say "hate your guts"?

I came up with one; possibly two.

My new goal in life, is to somehow make it right with them. Before its too late.

I'm curious:

If you ask yourself the same question, what is your answer?
And how do you feel about it?





(Is this too "touchy-feely" for R and P?)
 
quarky said:
As I get older, and lose my physical self-esteem and confidence, as well as certain hormonal imperatives, I have come to the need of a simple guiding light type of philosophy:

I asked myself, the other day:

How many people would you say "hate your guts"?

I came up with one; possibly two.

My new goal in life, is to somehow make it right with them. Before its too late.

I'm curious:

If you ask yourself the same question, what is your answer?
And how do you feel about it?





(Is this too "touchy-feely" for R and P?)
Click to expand...

Off of the top of my head i would say at least 12 that really really hate me. And one semi famous person who would like to see me chained up in the street getting rotten fruit thrown at me.

How do i feel about it? Good to be honest, the people who hate me are people i oppose , and in general, pretty crappy individuals in my opinion. Your level of effect in life cannot be measured by only people who love you. Anyone doing anything worthwhile is going to attract people from the opposite point of view that hate them.

I mean if i reviewed the list and it was people i respected that hated me, maybe i would think differently. But i can say that i am perfectly happy with the fact that i have a very good ability to get under the skin of those i oppose.
 
I just noticed that this thread has 1 reply and 75 views.

I should have posed it as a simple poll:

How many people hate your guts?
 
Well, I think the desire to do good in the world and resolve relationships gone bad are very much a natural, evolutionary traits. I don't think they need to be lumped in with spirituality. They're hardwired into most of us.
 
No one as far as I know. I'm just too dull. Maybe an ex-girlfriend is mildly aggrieved at me?
cj x
 
I'm not sure how spirituality enters into this. It's admirable to want to be on good terms with everyone you know, but you have to brace yourself for the possibility that they won't forgive whatever you think you've done to them.

Hopefully you're not allowing their disapproval to harm your self-worth.

- Scott
 
As I get older and similar things happen to me I increasingly discover that life is a complex series of events over which I have a limited degree of control and an even more limited understanding. The idea that a ‘simple, guiding philosophy’ could be of any use to me, especially ethically speaking, just gets more and more absurd. Certainly it’s not going to sort out the gradual accumulation of guilt and regret that I suspect is inevitable unless you’re lucky enough to make the right choice every time or so insipid that you’ve never been capable of offending anyone.

That said, I do feel the need for the sort of sense of broad, infinite transcendence that (for me, anyway) comes from fine views of natural landscapes, good art (experiencing and trying to make the stuff), and deep, knotty concepts in science, maths and philosophy. Which I know is all something to do with my temporal lobes, but I’ve still decided it has intrinsic value anyway. Is that spirituality? I suppose it covers some of the same ground.

I’m sure I’ve recommended before the philosopher Simon Critchley’s book ‘Very Little, Almost Nothing’, written shortly after the death of his father and addressing exactly this sort of thing.
 
One person I know hates my guts. He was very abusive towards his sisters and I used to watch him hit and verbally abuse his sisters 10 and 14. He was my next door neighbor. Ok 42 years passed since i last saw him and at my 40th highschool reunion guess what? He still can't stand me.

I'll yell at him to quit beating his siblings but it was no use. His father and mother took up for him and nothing changed until the girls grew up and left the house.

I don't want to make up with that scumbag.
 
Cainkane1 said:
One person I know hates my guts. He was very abusive towards his sisters and I used to watch him hit and verbally abuse his sisters 10 and 14. He was my next door neighbor. Ok 42 years passed since i last saw him and at my 40th highschool reunion guess what? He still can't stand me.

I'll yell at him to quit beating his siblings but it was no use. His father and mother took up for him and nothing changed until the girls grew up and left the house.

I don't want to make up with that scumbag.
Click to expand...

Yes. Sometimes in this life making an enemy means You're Doing It Right.
 
Maybe I'm superstitious. Perhaps a lingering doubt about reincarnation or after-life, wherein other's bad feelings will weigh down my journeys. Something like that.

Or maybe I want to be free of any malingering negative emotions towards others.
Not famous people; just regular folks.
I don't think I hate anyone. I used to, and it was a real energy suck.
 
I'd say half a dozen people or so, hate my guts. I'm proud that they do. They hate my guts because at various times, I stood up for what I believed in, and when they couldn't change my mind or turn most of my supporters against me any other way, they tried telling lies about me. I called them out on the lies and the slunk away to hate my guts. During each encounter, I held my ground, didn't tell lies about them, and treated the situation as fairly as possible. Strangely enough, approximately the same thing happened in totally different circumstances with several different people; it's an odd pattern that I must attract.

But anyway, I'm proud to be hated by such scumbags, and couldn't imagine any reason for making amends. When I want to make amends about something, I do it immediately, so I would have already done it.

I don't know how one would define "getting older," but I'm fifty.
 
How many people hate my guts IRL? Probably one, my ex, and I'm not even sure about that because I haven't spoken to him in over 10 years. For that matter, I'm not even sure he's still alive.

If someone hates you because you wronged them, make restitution if you can.

If someone hates you because you wouldn't stand by and let them wrong you (or someone else), that's their problem rather than yours. Stay the course.
 
I don't think anybody hates my guts. However, a substantial number of acquaintances have seemed to find me irritating.
 
Have enemies can be good or bad. Enemies which you've made through doing your job properly or by skeptical activism for example, are good. To me, having one of those enemies means that you've made it, you're known by the enemy. :cool:
 
Lots of people in the forum hate me.

[Thinks about it]

[Feels superior]

I see no problem here.


As for in real life, I can't think of anyone who hates me that I have any contact with. Over the decades there has been a person or two. Meh, people come and go. The important ones are still there in the end.


My son and I are going to Iceland for 2 weeks. Spending time with loved ones is the important thing.

Making up with a-holes you meet, ... not so much.
 
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