(Finally here) April Stundie Finals

[jaydeehess]

Ooooh just had an idea for an experiment.

Suspend one hundred toilets directly above each other. The first one is ten feet off a concrete slab and each consecutive toilet is ten feet higher. All are suspended by a lightweight string that barely supports it (this will be an ideal situation meaning no wind and the center of mass of each toilet lines up vertically with all of the others)

Now cut the string holding the highest one, it drops onto the next snapping the string holding it and the same occurs all the way to the ground.

gather up the pieces and determine how many recognizable toilet pieces result.
Now you have the percentage of total destruction possible simply by virtue of the mass of the toilets themselves.
Hey, maybe Home Depot will sponsor the test.

 

[frenat]

I once broke up a toilet, it was extremely easy all you had to do was tap it with a hammer and it flew apart.

Almost like it was made of ceramics or something.

 

[BazBear]

Ooooh just had an idea for an experiment.

Suspend one hundred toilets directly above each other. The first one is ten feet off a concrete slab and each consecutive toilet is ten feet higher. All are suspended by a lightweight string that barely supports it (this will be an ideal situation meaning no wind and the center of mass of each toilet lines up vertically with all of the others)

Not cut the string holding the highest one, it drops onto the next snapping the string holding it and the same occurs all the way to the ground.

gather up the pieces and determine how many recognizable toilet pieces result.
Now you have the percentage of total destruction possible simply by virtue of the mass of the toilets themselves.
Hey, maybe Home Depot will sponsor the test.

A fine idea for an experiment, but I'm afraid truthers would watch the video and claim the toilets fell faster than free fall. Then there would be claims of nanother*te laced toilets planted by *insert favorite group or agency here*, invisible mini-drone string cutters, space based toilet blasters etc.

 

[Horatius]

I pity the junior college teachers that have to put up with these guys.

Ah, but you forget: unlike us, the teachers can fail these idiots.

It's a bit like my job at the patent office. When I ask a free energy guy for evidence that his device works, I've actually got the force of law behind me; he can't just blow me off!

And yes, it's just as satisfying as it sounds.

Almost like it was made of ceramics or something.

Another point that supports something I noticed years ago: very few truthers seem to have any real-world experience of building or repairing things. Almost all of their "I can't believe that!" type objections seem to stem from this lack. They simply don't have any intuitive sense for how things really react under real-world conditions.

 

[jaydeehess]

Another point that supports something I noticed years ago: very few truthers seem to have any real-world experience of building or repairing things. Almost all of their "I can't believe that!" type objections seem to stem from this lack. They simply don't have any intuitive sense for how things really react under real-world conditions.

,, or seemingly not knowing terminology or basics of what they are on about. Such as referring to 'black hawk helicopters". Is that a "Hawk" helicopter painted black or a Blackhawk helicopter spelled wrong and of unspecified colour?

 

[jaydeehess]

,,,,,,,,,, space based toilet blasters etc.

AAaaaahhhhaaaaaa!!!!!!1111111!!!eleventy!!11!11!!1

NOW we know what happened to the Ceramic tiles on the space shuttle.

Same thing that happened to the toilets in the WTC!!1!!!!!!!!!!1!!11!!!

I'm onto you guy. You really slipped up there admitting to ceramic dustification machines in orbit. It alllllll makes sense now just look at the evidence

 

[jaydeehess]

Currently the #1,2,3 spots are
-no libraries
-no toilets
-Mach 210 bullets

all three would be deserving of the title (come on #4)

 

[fourtoe]

You guys are all forgetting that in a controlled demolition, the majority of the charges are placed around the toilets.

 

[BazBear]

AAaaaahhhhaaaaaa!!!!!!1111111!!!eleventy!!11!11!!1

NOW we know what happened to the Ceramic tiles on the space shuttle.

Same thing that happened to the toilets in the WTC!!1!!!!!!!!!!1!!11!!!

I'm onto you guy. You really slipped up there admitting to ceramic dustification machines in orbit. It alllllll makes sense now just look at the evidence

Dang it, now I've done it. So now I guess you know what those Saturn V "moon" rockets were really carrying!

 

[Molinaro]

Ooooh just had an idea for an experiment.

Suspend one hundred toilets directly above each other. The first one is ten feet off a concrete slab and each consecutive toilet is ten feet higher. All are suspended by a lightweight string that barely supports it (this will be an ideal situation meaning no wind and the center of mass of each toilet lines up vertically with all of the others)

Now cut the string holding the highest one, it drops onto the next snapping the string holding it and the same occurs all the way to the ground.

gather up the pieces and determine how many recognizable toilet pieces result.
Now you have the percentage of total destruction possible simply by virtue of the mass of the toilets themselves.
Hey, maybe Home Depot will sponsor the test.

But what about the control experiment for creating a baseline for comparison? You need to first dustify some toilets with an energy weapon.

 

[frenat]

Another point that supports something I noticed years ago: very few truthers seem to have any real-world experience of building or repairing things. Almost all of their "I can't believe that!" type objections seem to stem from this lack. They simply don't have any intuitive sense for how things really react under real-world conditions.

Exactly. Like those that claim the concrete was "dustified". I just have to wonder if any of them have ever seen what happens to concrete hit with a hammer.

 

[Nick Terry]

Ah, but you forget: unlike us, the teachers can fail these idiots.

Indeed, failing them works wonders, too.

I teach a first year course where the students write a 500 word mini-essay on a primary source every week, and they are expected to use secondary readings to help contextualise and comprehend the source, citing things properly with footnotes.

A very small number of students every year do not pay attention to the recommendations in the handbook or the advice in class, and write their first essay without any footnotes or citations. They are then failed.

The following week, they invariably start citing things properly.

 

[jaydeehess]

But what about the control experiment for creating a baseline for comparison? You need to first dustify some toilets with an energy weapon.

We could do that but it would classified sooper seekrit and 'they' would have to kill everyone involved

 

[Travis]

I can safely say that I learned from personal experience a toilet can be reduced to a pile of unrecognizable rubble by being accidentally dropped down a flight of stairs.

 

[fourtoe]

I can safely say that I learned from personal experience a toilet can be reduced to a pile of unrecognizable rubble by being accidentally dropped down a flight of stairs.

Haven't we all seen Boondock Saints? That movie was one of the movies we had to watch in a film class, haha.

 

[Myron Proudfoot]

euphemism

You guys are all forgetting that in a controlled demolition, the majority of the charges are placed around the toilets.

I think I have a new euphemism for when I have a very upset stomach.

Wife: Are you OK? You've been in the bathroom a long time!

Me: (groan) Darn Mexican food! I am having a controlled demolition!

 

[CORed]

...

#7 because it so nicely captures the blissful ignorance of the average conspiracy "theorist", especially the younger set, whose research skills are largely confined to finding the remote control under the seat cushion. (Credit to JayUtah for that one.)

..

I think you and Jay may be giving young conspiracy theorists too much credit. My guess is that when they can't find the remote, they assume somebody stole it and ask Mom or Dad to buy them a new one.

 

[CORed]

However, if you include the possibility of an energy weapon,
things make much more sense. A wave of energy passing
through the building could possibly destroy the toilets in a way
that a collapse could not have.

I think he may have something. The weapon used to dustify the towers was actually intended to dustify just the toilets in an attepmt to make 9/11 the new April Fool's day. The dustification of the entire buildings and death of all those people was a horible, unintended accident.

 

[MikeSun5]

Those are my shortlisted choices too but I love the numerolobotomised ones as well, so 3 and 20 have to get a mention.

Agreed. #3 and #20 are great. I love numerology.

...and I like the word "numerolobotomised" as well... I'll give you credit the first time, then I'm stealing it.