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Father Ted

Complexity

Philosopher
C
Joined
Nov 17, 2005
Messages
9,242
Religion doesn't always have to be a downer.

Sometimes, some really gifted people capture its funny side.

Father Ted is a British Irish comedy series about a few priests living out their lives in small village, having been exiled there by a hierarchy that doesn't know what else to do with them.

father-ted_625x352.jpg


Needless to say, their rejects are my favorites. Father Ted is one of these men.

Father Jack swears a lot - he is a role model for curmudgeons everywhere.

Father Dougal is, well, something of a cabbage.

Here's a site dedicated to Father Ted quotes: http://www.◊◊◊◊.net/splange/ftquote.html

Here are a few just for fun:

Dougal: It's like a great big tide of jam. But jam made out of... old women.

Ted: Now concentrate this time, Dougal. These (pointing to plastic cows on table) are very small; those (pointing out of the window) are far away...

"I won't be happy until the last rabbit round here is the one inside your head, working the controls!"

Ted: The holy stone... It must be even holier than we thought. Perhaps it's something to do with that fellow who came over from England last year. He touched it - and he grew a beard!
Dougal: Wow. Weird. That'd be nearly enough to upgrade it to a Class 1.
Ted: Ooh, Class 1'd be very rare. That'd be bringing people back to life... time travel... cloning dinosaurs... Very rare.

Dougal: What's going on?
Priest: I think Ted has a plan
Dougal: No. I mean in general.
 
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Complexity said:
Father Ted is a British comedy series...
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Irish, actually.

But yeah, it's one of the greatest comedy shows ever. I've seen each episode at least three dozen times, but I still laugh when I see them.





Bishop Facks: So, Father. Do you ever have any doubts about the religious life? Is your faith ever tested? Anything you would be worried about? Any doubts you've been having about any aspects of belief? Anything like that?
Father Dougal: Well, you know the way God made us all, right? And he's looking down at us from heaven and everything?
Bishop Facks: Uh-huh.
Father Dougal: And then his son came down and saved everyone and all that?
Bishop Facks: Yes.
Father Dougal: And when we die we're all going to go to heaven?
Bishop Facks: Yes. What about it?
Father Dougal: Well, that's the bit I have trouble with.
 
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Ryokan said:
Irish, actually.

But yeah, it's one of the greatest comedy shows ever. I've seen each episode at least three dozen times, but I still laugh when I see them.
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I made the aesthetic error of lumping Ireland in with the rest of the Brits - a fairly serious error for someone as irritated by empire as I am.

My apologies!
 
Complexity said:
I made the aesthetic error of lumping Ireland in with the rest of the Brits - a fairly serious error for someone as irritated by empire as I am.

My apologies!
Click to expand...

You did it again.

I seem to remember that some of the creative people on the show were British, but most were, as you say, Irish.
 
Father Ted is one of my favourite shows ever!

The milkman episode is a classic- Those women were in the nip!.

The characters are outrageous and wonderful. Grahman Norton- Let's have a SCREECHING CONTEST!
 
Dougal is hilarious- and there's a few episodes where it's clear he doesn't believe any of the Catholic dogma or doctrine at all. And Ted doesn't seem particularly devout, either.
 
Ted: His note from the bishop said they never really found a suitable place for him... he's not a very nice man, is he?
Dougal: God, Ted. I've never met anyone like him anywhere... who would he be like - Hitler or one of those mad fellas.
Ted: Oh, worse than Hitler. You wouldn't find Hitler playing jungle music at 3 o'clock in the morning.
 
Filippo Lippi said:
You did it again.

I seem to remember that some of the creative people on the show were British, but most were, as you say, Irish.
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Sigh.

The simplest (and most entertaining) thing is to undo the British empire and discontinue using the words 'Britain' and 'British' altogether.

Then we can get rid of such travesties as 'The Prince of Wales'.

Although well-intentioned, I am likely to continue making one faux-pas after another, and someone will get irritated enough to pound on me.

There. It is done.

What else can I fix today?
 
Careful now:Careful now:Careful now:Careful now:Careful now:Careful nowI once got moderated here for telling an annoying pest to "◊◊◊◊ off" by memo
Careful now:Careful now:Careful now:Careful now:Careful now:Careful now:D

Mrs Doyle: I never thought we'd have anyone like her staying here.
Father Ted: Hm? Oh, Miss Clarke, yes, it's very exciting isn't it? Famous novelist, here.
Mrs Doyle: You've never read any of her books, have you, father?
Father Ted: Actually, I'm a bit of a fan. That's where I was the other day - at her book signing.
Mrs Doyle: Well, I'm very surprised to hear that, father. I didn't think you'd like that sort of thing. I read a bit of one of them once. God, I couldn't finish it. The language, unbelievable!
Father Ted: It's a bit gritty, but that's the modern world, Mrs. Doyle.
Mrs Doyle: Ah, it's a bit much for me, father. "◊◊◊◊" this and "◊◊◊◊" that.
Father Ted: [uncomfortable] Yes, Mrs. Doyle.
Mrs Doyle: "You big bastard". Oh, dreadful language! "You big hairy arse", "You big fecker". Fierce stuff! And of course, the f-word, father, the bad f-word, worse than "◊◊◊◊" - you know the one I mean.
Father Ted: [becoming exasperated] Yes, I do, Mrs. Doyle.
Mrs Doyle: "Eff you". "Eff your 'effin' wife". Oh, I don't know why they have to use language like that. "I'll stick this 'effin' pitchfork up your hole", oh, that was another one, oh, yes!
Father Ted: I see what you mean, Mrs. Doyle.
Mrs Doyle: "Bastard" this and "bastard" that, you can't move for the bastards in her novels! It's wall-to-wall bastards!
Father Ted: Is it, Mrs. Doyle?
[taking her arm and steering her out of the room]
Father Ted: Anyway...
Mrs Doyle: "You bastard!" You fecker!" "You bollocks!" "Get your bollocks out of my face!" It was terrible.
Father Ted: [finally gets her through the door and closes it] Yes, you go and prepare for the nuns.
Mrs Doyle: [from the next room] "Ride me sideways" was another one!
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http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0111958/quotes

I think the script writers were very clever to ensure that nothing in the show was real swearing, don't you
:p
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/bollocks
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/◊◊◊◊
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/bastard

I have all the shows on video, which should tell you how long I've been a fan.
My favourite episode = All of them
:D
btw, it was an Irish situation comedy (set in Ireland), produced by a British production company for a British TV channel and all the interior scenes were shot in London
 
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Father Ted: It's not as if everyone's going to go off and join some mad religious cult just because we go off for a picnic for a couple of hours.
Father Dougal: God, Ted, I heard about those cults. Everyone dressing in black and saying our Lord's gonna come back and judge us all!
Father Ted: No... No, Dougal, that's us. That's Catholicism.
Father Dougal: Whole of this Catholic thing is a bit of a puzzler, isn't it Ted?





Father Ted: Fascists dress in black and go around telling people what to do, whereas priests... more drink!

Father Ted: That's the great thing about Catholicism - it's very vague and no-one knows what its really all about.



Father Dougal: Come on, Ted. Sure it's no more peculiar than all that stuff we learned in the seminary, you know, Heaven and Hell and everlasting life and all that type of thing. You're not meant to take it seriously, Ted!
 
RIP Dermot Morgan :(

One of my favorite scenes was when Dougal, in his child-like way, managed to talk a priest into leaving the priesthood and becoming a hippie :)
 
Nursefoxfire said:
RIP Dermot Morgan :(

One of my favorite scenes was when Dougal, in his child-like way, managed to talk a priest into leaving the priesthood and becoming a hippie :)
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That was Bishop O'Neill
obviously youre not a proper fan
:p
 
Marduk said:
That was Bishop O'Neill
obviously youre not a proper fan
:p
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I just finished watching the entire series back-to-back, the names are a bit blurry to me :)

Here's another one:

When Dougal keeps calling Bishop Brennan "Len", and the Bishop gets really enraged at that ("Call me Biship Brennon, you little ****!"), and Dougal says, "Ok, Len", in that easygoing, idiot child way of his :)

I love Dougal, he's my favorite character.
 
It was a great show, glorious even, and seems to be always available from the Channel 4 iPlayer thing for us in Brit... er, the UK.

eta Actually, I was late to it. The glf (now glw) was absolutely incredulous that I didn't watch it and insistent that I should. Thank you, the glw
 
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