end of the world

[HansMustermann]

Sorry to break it to all y'all, but Harold Camping was right the first time around. The rapture happened already on September the 6'th of 1994.

Of course, the criteria were a bit stricter than many of us had believed. For a start it turns out that all that talk of virgins was there for a reason. Second, the "blessed are the poor in spirit" part really meant the, shall we say, far left side of the the IQ curve.

At any rate, only two people were raptured, namely a couple from a small farming town in Iowa. For 20 years they had been praying for a baby, except, it turns out, nobody had told them how those are made. Witnesses on the scene report that their last words before being raptured away in a flash of pure holy light were, "Wait... we could have done WHAT?"

Truly an inspiration for us all.

At any rate, the bad news is that it's over, folks. If you're still here, it's not because obviously it can't have happened yet without you. It's that you're just left behind and are stuck here with us heathens, blasphemers and other assorted sinners. Just try to make the most of it, like the rest of us

 

[Slowvehicle]

Sorry to break it to all y'all, but Harold Camping was right the first time around. The rapture happened already on September the 6'th of 1994.

Of course, the criteria were a bit stricter than many of us had believed. For a start it turns out that all that talk of virgins was there for a reason. Second, the "blessed are the poor in spirit" part really meant the, shall we say, far left side of the the IQ curve.

At any rate, only two people were raptured, namely a couple from a small farming town in Iowa. For 20 years they had been praying for a baby, except, it turns out, nobody had told them how those are made. Witnesses on the scene report that their last words before being raptured away in a flash of pure holy light were, "Wait... we could have done WHAT?"

Truly an inspiration for us all.

At any rate, the bad news is that it's over, folks. If you're still here, it's not because obviously it can't have happened yet without you. It's that you're just left behind and are stuck here with us heathens, blasphemers and other assorted sinners. Just try to make the most of it, like the rest of us

PARTAAAAY!!!

 

[Gawdzilla Sama]

I was so concerned about the possible rapture that I stopped drinking.

Therefore I can state that it actually was the end of daze.

 

[Rincewind]

So the rapture is like being banned by a moderator?

 

[Rincewind]

I was so concerned about the possible rapture that I stopped drinking.

Therefore I can state that it actually was the end of daze.

So, what?

A coupla hours?

 

[Gawdzilla Sama]

So, what?

A coupla hours?

Ten minutes.

 

[aleCcowaN]

The world indeed ended. But the deity, in all its mercy, decided to seamlessly move everybody into a hologram that replicates exactly the world as it was, so we have an opportunity to amend our ways. Isn't Jebus great?

These events have invigorated my crave for spirituality. I'm reading the bible. That guy can write!

 

[Rincewind]

Now how are we going to have a proper rapture if nobody takes it seriously (except that couple in Iowa)?

Hic!

Oops, sorry...

 

[Rincewind]

The world indeed ended. But the deity, in all its mercy, decided to seamlessly move everybody into a hologram that replicates exactly the world as it was, so we have an opportunity to amend our ways. Isn't Jebus great?

These events have invigorated my crave for spirituality. I'm reading the bible. That guy can write!

So the Turin Shroud is REAL?

 

[Rincewind]

The world indeed ended. But the deity, in all its mercy, decided to seamlessly move everybody into a hologram that replicates exactly the world as it was, so we have an opportunity to amend our ways. Isn't Jebus great?

These events have invigorated my crave for spirituality. I'm reading the bible. That guy can write!

Ah, a craving for spirituality?

Whiskey? Schnapps? Slivovitz? Lighter fluid? Turpentine?

 

[aleCcowaN]

So the Turin Shroud is REAL?

Yes, it's a hologram of a time-space anomaly. That's why it can't be reproduced and is wrongly dated. The source code is not available. Next end of the world maybe the deity would make the code available under GNU.

 

[aleCcowaN]

Ah, a craving for spirituality?

Whiskey? Schnapps? Slivovitz? Lighter fluid? Turpentine?

Just incense, medical, in front of the niche with the image of Perperino Pómoro, Cathodic saint and Latin martyr.

 

[Rincewind]

Yes, it's a hologram of a time-space anomaly. That's why it can't be reproduced and is wrongly dated. The source code is not available. Next end of the world maybe the deity would make the code available under GNU.

I doubt that wildebeest will be particularly forthcoming...

 

[Rincewind]

Just incense, medical, in front of the niche with the image of Perperino Pómoro, Cathodic saint and Latin martyr.

Curious - I've only heard of pomodoro.

 

[Slowvehicle]

Curious - I've only heard of pomodoro.

You say "toMAYtoe"...

 

[Rincewind]

You say "toMAYtoe"...

Show-off!

Or in your case: Slow-off!

 

[Slowvehicle]

Show-off!

Or in your case: Slow-off!

 

[Rincewind]

You say "toMAYtoe"...

Actually I suspect that it's more likely you who says it that way.

I'm a Brit - therefore the other usage is for me!

Served halved, a sprinkle of various herbs and topped with grated, strong cheese and oven-cooked for a few minutes!

Tomahtoe Gratin!

And even without bacon!

 

[CORed]

The world indeed ended. But the deity, in all its mercy, decided to seamlessly move everybody into a hologram that replicates exactly the world as it was, so we have an opportunity to amend our ways. Isn't Jebus great?

These events have invigorated my crave for spirituality. I'm reading the bible. That guy can write!

Pretty sure it's "those guys" for the Bible, though who they actually were is kind of hazy. If you want something written by "that guy" you should try the Koran (Mohammed), or the Book of Mormon (Joseph Smith), though both of them claimed to have gotten their stuff from an angel (they actually had somewhat similar stories about where they got their material).

 

[quadraginta]

Pretty sure it's "those guys" for the Bible, though who they actually were is kind of hazy. If you want something written by "that guy" you should try the Koran (Mohammed), or the Book of Mormon (Joseph Smith), though both of them claimed to have gotten their stuff from an angel (they actually had somewhat similar stories about where they got their material).

So there's this angel dude wandering around and randomly dumping "holy books" on unsuspecting passers by?

Somebody should do something. That could be dangerous.