OK, how about THIS solution?
There's a problem.
Fully 25% - maybe more - of the U.S. population is oblivious.
You know these people. If your town is a tourist haven, they come to visit with their entire family, and walk five abreast down the sidewalk, sometimes holding hands, forcing you to either step into the street to get out of their way, or give them a nasty look and say something snarky as they get close.
They get off the escalator, then stop right there to turn around and check to see if the rest of their herd is still behind them (no, genius, they were magically teleported to Planet X about halfway down).
They merge into traffic oblivious to the fact that there may already be someone in the spot they're trying to get into.
They have loud, intense conversations on their cell phone in public places.
They'll stand on line an McDonald's, having a delightful conversation ahead of you, and only when they get to the front of the line do they figure out, "Hey, maybe we should try to decide what we want to eat..."
And if they're carrying a long pole over their shoulders, do you think it occurs to them what will happen to the three feet of pole extending out behind them if they turn to their right?
"Hey Moe! Hey Larry! Wooh! Wooh! Wooh!"
FWIW, I once saw a lady knitting a blanket out of old plastic shopping bags while waiting for her flight out of Salt Lake City airport.