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Deity recipes

Complexity

Philosopher
C
Joined
Nov 17, 2005
Messages
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I think the most constructive way of dealing with religion would be to come up with recipes for its various deities. [Tsig started the idea. Special thanks to Zep for jumping in.]

Since there are no deities, we are free to imagine what we will. Of course, money is not an issue.

Commentary on capture, preparation, ways of making it palatable (if possible), cooking methods, spicing, sauces, accompanying dishes, setting, and appropriate wines and spirits (pun intended) would be most welcome.

I am concerned about disease risks, especially with deity sashimi and sushi.

I mentioned in another thread that I like the sound of 'deity fricassee'.

Have at it.
 
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I don't think we can blame the lack of coherence on translation, either.

I think the ideas are confused beyond all possibility coherent utterance.

However, you have made a good point. A special place must be made for salads.
 
Don't see why not.

None of that fake basalmic vinegar, either. We need the real thing. I suspect jeebus would be rather bland.
 
While chopping up judxian deities (tripartite and otherwise) may be entertaining, let us not forget that some other religious traditions have many more (and more interesting) deities to offer. The hindu pantheon, for example, should provide many natural opportunities for curries, which I happen to love (the curries, not the 'gods').
 
Zoroaster would naturally be served flambe, but a true culinary artist could rise above the mundane and obvious and do something chilled.
 
I'm not sure what to do with the nordic gods. Seeing what has been done with some of the food (slimy reconstituted lime-soaked salt cod), it would be amusing to prepare some of them that way (don't need to eat it, just write recipes inciting others).

However, that was a cheap shot. I think that we can do better than that.
 
I do think that some of the Hawaiian deity names might lead to some interesting dish names, however. We don't have to catch 'em (they don't really exist, after all), just figure out how best to cook 'em.
 
Complexity said:
Don't see why not.

None of that fake basalmic vinegar, either. We need the real thing. I suspect jeebus would be rather bland.
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The OT god seems pretty tough so it would need lots of simmering maybe a pressure cooker?

Jesus would be already bled out so he's probably more palatable.

BTW Thx for the thread.
 
Hokulele said:
Well, the pantheon that lurks in the mythology of Hawai'i would be more likely to try and eat you ... I would rather eat something that I already know can be killed.
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Can you use lava to cook with?
 
Complexity said:
I do think that some of the Hawaiian deity names might lead to some interesting dish names, however. We don't have to catch 'em (they don't really exist, after all), just figure out how best to cook 'em.
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Baked god with hellfire sauce:

3 to 5 pounds of god meat (Catholic churches are the best place to shop)

2 large onions

2 garlic's (omit for any wolf type deities)

2 or 3 potatoes (caution when 2 or more potatoes are gathered together odd things can happen)

Hellfire sauce (pretty much anything written by Fred Phelps)

Combine Meat, onions, garlic, potatoes and sauce and cook in oven at 3500 for infinity.

Serves 4 or 5 thousand.
 
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Complexity said:
I think the most constructive way of dealing with religion would be to come up with recipes for its various deities. [Tsig started the idea. Special thanks to Zep for jumping in.]

Since there are no deities, we are free to imagine what we will. Of course, money is not an issue.

Commentary on capture, preparation, ways of making it palatable (if possible), cooking methods, spicing, sauces, accompanying dishes, setting, and appropriate wines and spirits (pun intended) would be most welcome.

I am concerned about disease risks, especially with deity sashimi and sushi.

I mentioned in another thread that I like the sound of 'deity fricassee'.

Have at it.
Click to expand...

IOW How to serve god.
 
Complexity said:
I'm not sure what to do with the nordic gods. Seeing what has been done with some of the food (slimy reconstituted lime-soaked salt cod), it would be amusing to prepare some of them that way (don't need to eat it, just write recipes inciting others).

However, that was a cheap shot. I think that we can do better than that.
Click to expand...

I think Thor should be prepared like hakarl (rotten shark). Perhaps Odin could be prepared in the manner of hangikjot. Of course, one would want to hang him upside down. Both should be served with generous portions of brennivin (aka Black Death).
 
Christ That's Good!

4 or 5 fillets of God or the son thereof
Season with a light sprinkling of seasoning salt, sweet & smoky rub, and a little black pepper.
Dip each fillet into beaten egg before frying in pan.


If prepared correctly, consumption will lead to the miraculous uttering of the name of the dish spontaneously; "mm Christ, That's good!"

(also works with Tilapia if no Judeo Christian deities are in season)
 
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Allah Chili

2 to 3 pounds of ground Allah

1 tomato (must be young)

2 onions (must be strong and bitter)

2 cloves of garlic

1 can of salsa mixed from prior beliefs

5 tablespoons of fatality


Preparation:

Brown Allah in skillet and drain off excess dogma

combine ingredients in large pot and cook over hellfire

Best served to infidels with a sword.
 
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In the other thread most recipes suggested a red wine ("This is my blood"). I think we must not forget people that don't drink alcohol. A nice glass of Reverend Jim Jones' Kool-Aid should be the answer.
 
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God kabobs

Ingredients:

1 Jesus

1 Jewish mob

3 to 5 Roman centurions

Preparation:

Combine Jesus, mob and centurions after Jesus is thoroughly tenderized hang on cross in sun till completely dry (may need to drain water/blood).

Serves millions.
 
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