Cardinality is a relative measure of "size" of sets where |A| <= |B| if and only if there exists an injection from A to B. (The meanings for strict equality and strict inequality of cardinalities follow directly.)
Note that this definition requires only the introduction of mappings into the set theory.
This definition does not distinguish between finite or infinite cardinality.
No, it does not. Why should it?
If you think about it, finite and non-finite refer to size, so you need a size measure
before you can define terms like finite and non-finite.
In that case I'll ask you: How, for example, |N| is defined as infinite (or transfinite) cardinality, and |n| is defined as finite cardinality?
It doesn't...yet.
Just like set theory can be developed to include functions, and the whole numbers, and arithmetic, and so on, cardinality can also be developed. I provided a simple definition for cardinality as a measure of relative size. It is the foundational definition. It will also be there. But I can build on it....
One of the first things I can add is a concept of absolute measure. Cardinality, as presented, is a comparison. It is often useful to have the measure return a "number" if you will (note the use of quotes). Rather than comparing sets with each other, I could compare them against some standard.
The von Neumann set is a candidate for such a standard. You seemed to hint at this in your attempts to define cardinality. If the cardinality of some set, S, is equal to the cardinality of a element, n, of the von Neumann set then we can say, by definition, more or less, that |S| = n.
Then, once we recognize the von Neumann set can represent the set of natural numbers, we have developed the foundational definition of cardinality into one more familiar to most non-mathematicians. "Cardinality is the number of elements in a set."
There's a problem, though. Not all sets have a cardinality equal to an element of the von Neumann set. The foundational definition still applies to all sets, but this attempt at an absolute measure works for only some of the possible sets.
Here is where we can introduce concepts of finite and non-finite sets. (Finite sets are those with cardinalities equal to an element of the von Neumann set....)
A naive attempt to include the non-finite sets into our absolute measure is to extend the von Neumann set with a new element we can call 'infinity'. Finite sets have a whole number for their cardinality, and the others all have 'infinity' for theirs.
But....as Cantor pointed out, non-finite sets come in different sizes. Our naive attempt to include the non-finite sets in our absolute measure comes up short. More extensions are required. The transfinites arise, and so on.
Note, though, that the foundational definition for cardinality has not changed. We have sought a standard that can be used for an absolute measure, and that proved to be non-trivial, but cardinality in its basic form remains as it always was.