December Stundie Finals

[Travis]

Well, I've left the best of 2009 poll all alone for long enough. Time to get down to the dirty, but fun, business of deciding the best Stundie of December.

First...last months winner:

Did you all know that African-Americans descend from African immigrants who arrived in North America during the 16th century after a famine in Africa forced them to find more fertile lands? It's true. Apparently, this nonsense about slavery and the so-called "Civil Rights" movement of the 1960s was a complete sham, orchestrated by a small minority of extremist Afro-Americans bent on world domination.
I'm telling you - I've met with a couple of African Americans who told me all about this. And what they told me just flew in the face of everything I've ever read in history books, etc. Really incredible that there actually never was a single slave in either North or South America.​

Thank you, here is your virtual award:

So, now for the tough decisions.

1) The expedition to find the One True Scotsman continues.

Atta was not a terrorist, he was a Christian. Please see alleged overt act # 67.

He ordered a package just in time for Christmas. A real Muslim would not do this.

*****
2) Yes, the Ignoramus Trophy is worth bragging about.

When the debunkers run out of bogus arguments, their last resort is to tell their opponent he doesn't understand the issue or he's missing the point. It's a good sign and I'm pleased to say I get it all the time.

*****
3) It seems the crazy ideas are all orphans now.

Is it me or are some of these so-called conspiracies cooked up by debunkers just so they can easily knock them down? Why don't you debunkers just validate your own damn conspiracy theory already? Did the government investigations let you down? Did they fall short of putting it all to rest? Is that why you exist?

*****
4) On the plus side Directed Energy Weapons are seen as not entirely responsible. Unfortunately partially "crazy" is still "crazy."

DEWs did NOT bring down the towers, they did not vaporize anything, all in all they were a MINOR agent in the destruction, but they were used.

Thermate / Thermite, high explosives, possibly 4th gen micro-nukes brought the WTC towers down. BUT there is evidence of DEW which has a relatively minor effect during the destruction.

*****
5) Plastics, nonburnable......unless you get them in a vacuum! Maybe it gets scared by the non-liquid melted steel.

The majority of the jet fuel was burned off in the fireballs created by the impact of the planes. This left a far lesser amount of jet fuel to actually burn within the buildings. In this regard, there were not a great deal of flammable materials within the buildings to feed the fires: most things are made of metal (which doesn't burn) and plastic (which melts - but even when it does burn, the temperatures are relatively low).

At its hottest (which would be in close to vacuum-like circumstances), jet diesel fuel burns at ~1,800 degrees. The melting point of standard structural steel is ~2,500 degrees...

Since no combination of jet fuel and flammable materials could have created temperatures hot enough to not simply MELT the steel, but create MOLTEN (liquid) steel, Occam's Razor says there must have been another source of (much greater) heat.

*****
6) HAARP--what crazy people think it does makes anything possible.

What a juggling act, a theory that requires two mutually exclusive scenarios, powerful concussive explosives that are silent and slow acting. Simply unreal!

Thermite can do that, Trust me nothing is unreal when Americans have the ability to manipulate the wheather with a secret project called HAARP

*****
7) Ask a stupid question...

I asked a man named Mark Roberts, one of the leading truth deniers/truth debunkers, how Giuliani and his Fire Chief managed to make WTC Building Number 7 appear to be a perfect controlled demolition, having only 3 hours or so to make all the preparations? Of course, neither Mark nor any other truth denier can answer that question.

*****
8) I sure hope whoever came up with this brilliant idea didn't get a raise.

It seems that the hippie movement was started by US military intelligence to distract young people away from the Vietnam war.

*****
9) Well this bit of circular logic sure swayed me.

Oh, so now the government arent clever enough to just place explosives inside the building in places that would cause an uncontrolled demolition. You think of them as idiots, but to stage something like this they cant be.

*****
10) Aim low, I always say.

When no one else will lead, the people will listen to the loudest idiot. I have every intention, of being that idiot.

*****
11) Sailors would get scurvy from eating nothing but salted beef....I guess that makes salted beef "sailor poison."

Speaking of boxed cereals - that stuff is like rat poison - literally! I read of a study done once, in which there were two sets of test rats. One set was fed nothing but boxed cereals. The other group was fed nothing but the BOXES the cereal came in.
All of the cereal-eating rats died first. Yes, the cardboard eating rats outlived the cereal-eating rats!

The heat extrusion process that boxed cereals goes through, turns their ingredients rancid, and makes them toxic - it's like rat poison. Stay away from boxed cereals.

*****
12) The only thing more suspicious than "anomalies" is when there are none!

Mark Bingham, whatever, yeah, right. That's right. "Hello mother this is Mark Bingham." Uh OK? ... Now, does he usually say that to his mother? Probably not.

Have you been in touch with his mother? Her name's Alice Hoakland, and she says in fact that was one of the things that they would do on the phone, "just kidding," because he was the up and coming young businessman. And when he called her, she says, that's the way he sometimes introduced himself.

Well, then that just means that they've done a better job.

*****
13) I've got my Hawaiian COLB, don't you? Everyone's got one, it's how we protest the government actually governing the country.

For Lori and the others who mouth the propaganda of the media, his certificate is a "Certificate of Live Birth" available to anyone and everyone in Haiwaii regardless of whether or not they are citizens, OR were or were NOT born there... Our government has absolutely taken over this country. We the people don't matter anymore.

*****
14) My hypothesis is that someone was on angel dust while they were reading the wiki article on nuclear physics.

If the hypothesis is that our science is wrong about nuclear bombs, what can we answer about the existence of these two phenomena? My guesses would be so:

1. Nuclear radiation is a series of unstable metals developed under specific laboratory conditions - and which sometimes necessitate NASA-type outer space travel, possibly to "collect" radiation. Any way it is developed, "nukes" are basically just normal explosives with radioactive poisonous metals as shrapnel contained within
and
2. The apparent difference between weaponized radiation and radiation used to heat water in nuclear energy facilities is just that: an apparent media difference which is a contradiction/paradox kept in the public eye in order for people to never grasp that there is no difference

But the joke's on me if my science is just so horrible that all I can come up with is the above.

*****
15) How do we know that all planes aren't just holograms!?!

Next, how do we know those past flights were even passenger flights on N644AA? How do we know there were even Flight Attendants? How do we even know there were pilots for that matter?

*****
16) Who needs vertical walls that don't lean? Not big buildings, they don't mind leaning walls.

It is hard to understand why anyone would think that a leaning or bulging wall, on a building with a footprint the size of a football field and an inner core, means that the entire structure will collapse.

*****
17) Ah yes, the how terrible it is to modify hypothesis in light of new evidence. How anti-doctrinal of us.

By contrast, we see very few dissenting voices among the debunkers, since the Absolute Truth can be found in their Bible, The NIST Report...

Blasphemous theories, such as 'burning diesel fuel', are simply not tolerated once they have been rejected by the ruling council, even though they were previously central to the doctrine.

*****
18) I can't imagine what he's doing wrong.

I amuse myself so easily being poor, I stand and stare at the sky in the chemtrail morning hoping passerby will stop and stare with me when I speak out loud words to the effecct of "ANOTHER FINE SPRAY DAY." Yes of course they do not. Neither look up nor listen.

*****
19) So close....and yet so far from getting something right.

the furter [sic] something falls the more weight and speed it gains from gravity and slices through the air

*****
20) When all else fails....beat them up! That'll show 'em how mature you are.

Actually I'll bet it would take Joe less than 16.5 seconds to to get you to tapout in the octagon. Afterwards he could learn you on the other topics he's well versed in. And you would sit there and listen. Very politlely. Without your snotty remarks. I'll bet.

*****
Well, that's it folks. It was, as always, a really good month.

 

[philkensebben]

10 or 18.

The agony of choice!

 

[Travis]

10 or 18.

The agony of choice!

Both of those are golden!

I so wanna get #10 on a T-shirt.

 

[carlitos]

I'm abusing the multi-vote feature this month - 1, 2, 10, 12, 15.

15 shows where some of this all leads - I forget who said it, but a world where "Matrix" is a documentary. Nothing is real.

 

[Rogue1stclass]

I had to go with 5 because it was just so wrong in so many ways...

 

[Orphia Nay]

1, 2, 10 and 18 for me, but if I'd had to just pick one, it would have been 10, which is way out in front, as it should be.

 

[carlitos]

Travis, I went to cafe press and gave #10 a try, but that's too much text for one shirt. Sorry. I would have split the commission with you.

 

[Elizabeth I]

Travis, I went to cafe press and gave #10 a try, but that's too much text for one shirt. Sorry. I would have split the commission with you.

Could you do the first sentence on the front and the second on the back?

 

[TJM]

#10 I feel is the One True Stundie.

 

[Orphia Nay]

Could you do the first sentence on the front and the second on the back?

Good plan!

#10 I feel is the One True Stundie.

Yes, it really is precious.

 

[Travis]

Travis, I went to cafe press and gave #10 a try, but that's too much text for one shirt. Sorry. I would have split the commission with you.

Only thing I can think of is to go with Elizabeth I's suggestion.

#10 I feel is the One True Stundie.

I know. It encapsulates so much of what the Truthers are trying to do.

 

[Mr.Herbert]

#15 ... One of Balsamo's finest hours during his breakdown at Above Top Secret with Turbofan.

 

[Cuddles]

I voted for several, but #10 really is pretty special. Anyone remember Animal House -
"The time has come for someone to put his foot down, and that foot is me."

I thought #13 was pretty good too though. "Our government has taken over this country". Isn't that kind of the point? Would they prefer someone else's government had taken over instead?

 

[Dumb All Over]

10 or 18.

The agony of choice!

I was facing the same dilemma, so I voted for both.

 

[blobru]

I didn't vote for 3 thru 6, 12 & 16.

The others: i think beyond a certain level of stupid, it's cruel to play favourites. Like a mouse toying with a cheese.

 

[timhau]

10. I only vote for one, because in the end there can be only one winner. I knew 10 was it as soon as I got that far on the list.

I'm surprised at how little love 8 and 14 are getting, though.

 

[Gaspode]

I voted for 2 and 10. Both made me laugh out loud.

 

[tuc0]

I so wanna get #10 on a T-shirt.

There you are.
A little present for the MC.

 

[carlitos]

T-shirts, get yer T-shirts

Per the membership agreement, I am certainly not promoting something for sale. But, for a chuckle, you could click here.

ETA - wow. didn't see that post before my lame effort

 

[Travis]

That's awesome.

I've also been considering creating an off forum site to serve as a Stundie Archive. Would anyone be interested in such a thing?