Dear Users... (A thread for Sysadmin, Technical Support, and Help Desk people)

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RecoveringYuppy said:
I'm sitting within sight of a properly labeled network drop and had trouble figuring that out. I think it's the paragraph space that makes it hard to realize that one sentence is the answer to the question. I kept wondering what the second half of that sentence was supposed to be.

When people who build buildings label network drops [x happens].

When people who build buildings label network drops and don't realize the numbers actually mean something.
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I've heard of a network that dropped (I didn't want to say "network dropping", because that could just be a turd ;) ), but never a "network drop" until now. Hence my confusion.
 
JoeMorgue said:
Yeah every once in a great while I'll get asked some version of "Okay but what does [completely technical question] mean for our company?" question and I'm pretty much always some version " I literally don't care. You asked me if Option A or Option B had better [completely objective] criteria. I didn't run a broader trolley problem on it, sorry."
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I won't even answer questions about whether the data I get is right or not. "Are these numbers correct?!" gets answered with "the numbers are an accurate reflection of what was in the database at the time I ran the query". If people put garbage in there, or misinterpret what comes out, it's not my problem.
 
TragicMonkey said:
I won't even answer questions about whether the data I get is right or not. "Are these numbers correct?!" gets answered with "the numbers are an accurate reflection of what was in the database at the time I ran the query". If people put garbage in there, or misinterpret what comes out, it's not my problem.
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Good policy. It's pretty much inevitable that some incorrect data will sneak in, and there's nothing the person writing queries or reports can do about it. Now if you're developing the input interface, you can certainly do some validation, but it's just about impossible to make it foolproof, because fools can be so damn clever at finding ways around the validation.
 
TragicMonkey said:
I won't even answer questions about whether the data I get is right or not. "Are these numbers correct?!" gets answered with "the numbers are an accurate reflection of what was in the database at the time I ran the query". If people put garbage in there, or misinterpret what comes out, it's not my problem.
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As has been noted in times past:

‘On two occasions I have been asked,—“Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?” In one case a member of the Upper, and in the other a member of the Lower, House put this question. I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question.’
– Charles Babbage (1791-1871) Passages From the Life of a Philosopher, Chapter V, Difference Engine No. 1
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If you receive an email saying

Please contact the Service Desk on [phone number], selecting option 2, then 2 again, quoting job number [job number] for further assistance.
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Would you interpret that as a request that you please contact the Service Desk? Because I just spoke to someone who "didn't interpret it that way".
 
CORed said:
That does make me curious as to exactly how they interpreted it. I'm not really sure how you could make it any clearer.
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Somehow they interpreted it as not being a request for them to call the Service Desk. I guess they thought it was just one of those regular automated things that we always send to people for no reason at all.
 
arthwollipot said:
If you receive an email saying

Would you interpret that as a request that you please contact the Service Desk? Because I just spoke to someone who "didn't interpret it that way".
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They are being deliberately dim, I suspect. Playing with words is their way of trying to absolve themselves of any responsibility.

Perhaps the instructional wording should be more like:

  1. This is the only way we will respond to queries about help desk jobs.
  2. Write down your job number now
  3. Call Helpdesk on this number: 1234-5678
  4. When the automated voice asks, select option 2, then option 2 again.
  5. When answered, tell them who you are and your job number.
  6. Then they will respond to you.
  7. Emails and phone calls will be politely declined.
  8. No, phoning about these instructions won't help.
  9. No, really, it won't.
  10. THIS IS A RECORDING
 
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arthwollipot said:
If you receive an email saying

Would you interpret that as a request that you please contact the Service Desk? Because I just spoke to someone who "didn't interpret it that way".
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The implication is that you should contact the service desk that way if you want further assistance. Maybe they felt they didn’t need further assistance.

I think, if you were specifically requesting them to call rather than it just being a general reminder, I’d have said “... in order to resolve this issue “, or something similar.
 
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arthwollipot said:
If you receive an email saying

Would you interpret that as a request that you please contact the Service Desk? Because I just spoke to someone who "didn't interpret it that way".
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The word "please" - although polite - may also have been interpreted as "not required" (i.e. a request, not a command). It's difficult to be both polite and to convey that that it's not optional.
 
grmcdorman said:
The word "please" - although polite - may also have been interpreted as "not required" (i.e. a request, not a command). It's difficult to be both polite and to convey that that it's not optional.
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Please, always be specific when things are required and not optional. It is a requirement.
 
Norman Alexander said:
They are being deliberately dim, I suspect. Playing with words is their way of trying to absolve themselves of any responsibility.
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I am 100% certain that they were being absolutely honest. It was one of those callers who likes to chat. We had quite a lengthy conversation in which I only had to repeat myself four or five times.
 
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zooterkin said:
The implication is that you should contact the service desk that way if you want further assistance. Maybe they felt they didn’t need further assistance.
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But they did need further assistance, and they knew that they needed further assistance. That's why after two identical emails were sent asking them to call, we notified them that we are resolving the issue as per standard operating procedure due to them not being contactable. Then they decided to call us.

zooterkin said:
I think, if you were specifically requesting them to call rather than it just being a general reminder, I’d have said “... in order to resolve this issue “, or something similar.
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Yeah I probably would have said the same thing if I'd sent the email. But I still think the original was pretty clear.
 
If you email a document that HAS TO BE SIGNED IMMEDIATELY to Someone and you get an out-of-office-reply saying:

Someone no longer works for Company. If you need assistance with a matter previously handled by them please email New Person at NewP@company.com.
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Would that lead you to waste several hours on internal conversation as to who you could possibly contact at Company to assist you in a timely manner and then lead you to contact Person in a completely different department to ask them for urgent assistance?

If so, I know a major corporation who will be looking for an employee just like you after I track down the home address of their current idiot.

ETA: I realize that this is not really a user complaint. Would it help at all to keep it on topic if they were using a common e-signature software that appears to be central to their job but had no idea how it actually worked?
 
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Dr. Keith said:
If you email a document that HAS TO BE SIGNED IMMEDIATELY to Someone and you get an out-of-office-reply saying:



Would that lead you to waste several hours on internal conversation as to who you could possibly contact at Company to assist you in a timely manner and then lead you to contact Person in a completely different department to ask them for urgent assistance?

If so, I know a major corporation who will be looking for an employee just like you after I track down the home address of their current idiot.
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One of the first things I learned when I started doing support type jobs twenty years ago is that people do not read. They do not read instructions, they do not read procedures, they do not read error messages - they just do not read. Ever.
 
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