Dear Users... (A thread for Sysadmin, Technical Support, and Help Desk people)

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Trebuchet said:
That reminds me of a problem when I first worked at Boeing. A particular 767 was getting random failure messages on the flap system. It was eventually traced to a short in a wire to the armrest of a particular seat, which at some point in its journey ran next to one in the flap system. The error only occurred when a passenger moved the armrest, causing a current spike which induced a current in the flap wire.
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So the passenger putting their seat back caused the flaps to extend??!
 
Norman Alexander said:
So the passenger putting their seat back caused the flaps to extend??!
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picture.php
 
I have dealings with a property management company who send me an annual summary for tax filing purposes. There is a simple pdf with the numbers and an optional Excel sheet for download into which I can plug their numbers and some of my own to check against the tax authorities' online calculations. Very obliging of them.

Thing is that for the last three years I can't get the spreadsheet to run properly on my big Windows box, W10 running Office 2016. It just goes into an endless loop of VBA debugging that I really don't have the time or the knowledge to fix. It runs fine on my Mac running Office 2011, though, so I take the path of least resistance and use that.
 
Darat said:
Nonsense.

Replacement AI for call centre staff :

Whatever the caller says reply with: "Switch it off and then back on. Has that fixed the problem?"

If "yes" say "is there anything else I can help you with today?"

If "no" say "I'll need to raise a ticket with the second tier support team"




Don't hit me!
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I just had this conversation.

The first time you use this password, it will prompt you to change it. When you pick your new password, it must be at least ten characters long, must contain upper and lower case letters and at least one number or symbol.

Okay. So... how many letters again?

At least ten characters.

And it has to be upper case?

Upper and lower case letters, and at least one number or symbol.

So... was that eight characters?

At least ten. Ten or more.

And it has to contain a symbol?

At least one number or symbol.

One Number and one symbol?

At least one number or symbol.

Ten characters. Exactly ten?

At least ten. Ten or more.

And it has to contain a symbol.

At least one number or symbol.

It's not working.
 
arthwollipot said:
I just had this conversation.

The first time you use this password, it will prompt you to change it. When you pick your new password, it must be at least ten characters long, must contain upper and lower case letters and at least one number or symbol.

Okay. So... how many letters again?

At least ten characters.

And it has to be upper case?

Upper and lower case letters, and at least one number or symbol.

So... was that eight characters?

At least ten. Ten or more.

And it has to contain a symbol?

At least one number or symbol.

One Number and one symbol?

At least one number or symbol.

Ten characters. Exactly ten?

At least ten. Ten or more.

And it has to contain a symbol.

At least one number or symbol.

It's not working.
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"password" is not valid.
 
Speaking of animals etc inside cases, I had one that happened to me personally, was living out in the country and we had a field mouse plague (those tiny little ones that can literally squeeze under a door)
Had a tower (one of the early 8 bay ones about a metre high) that had a server running on it, that after being running 24/7 for over two years, started making a loud squeaking noise- sounded exactly like a bearing in a fan was going (not surprising as I regularly would peel the labels off and innox the bearings from old fans and use them myself)
Undid the side cover (two pull latches) and open it up...

Yes it is a fan...

Or more specifically a field mouse whose tail had been dragged into the fan and had stalled the fan, trapping it with its tail jammed between a fan blade and one of the cross supports...

Still sounded exactly like a dry bearing, but it was the poor mouse complaining most bitterly..

Shame it wasn't a customers computer- would have loved to have put down the repairs done
"remove faulty mouse"
 
arthwollipot said:
I just had this conversation.

The first time you use this password, it will prompt you to change it. When you pick your new password, it must be at least ten characters long, must contain upper and lower case letters and at least one number or symbol.

Okay. So... how many letters again?

At least ten characters.

And it has to be upper case?

Upper and lower case letters, and at least one number or symbol.

So... was that eight characters?

At least ten. Ten or more.

And it has to contain a symbol?

At least one number or symbol.

One Number and one symbol?

At least one number or symbol.

Ten characters. Exactly ten?

At least ten. Ten or more.

And it has to contain a symbol.

At least one number or symbol.

It's not working.
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The one that catches a lot of people, "it can't contain your first or last name'
 
JimOfAllTrades said:
Cockroaches can do more than you might think. ... But having chased a couple of cockroaches, lots of spiders, flies, and other miscellaneous bugs out of various computer cases over the years, I've always been tempted to tell a user this. Never quite had the right opportunity.
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How did the cockroach make it past the ventilator of death?



Dabop said:
Speaking of animals etc inside cases, I had one that happened to me personally, was living out in the country and we had a field mouse plague (those tiny little ones that can literally squeeze under a door)
Had a tower (one of the early 8 bay ones about a metre high) that had a server running on it, that after being running 24/7 for over two years, started making a loud squeaking noise- sounded exactly like a bearing in a fan was going (not surprising as I regularly would peel the labels off and innox the bearings from old fans and use them myself)
Undid the side cover (two pull latches) and open it up...

Yes it is a fan...

Or more specifically a field mouse whose tail had been dragged into the fan and had stalled the fan, trapping it with its tail jammed between a fan blade and one of the cross supports...

Still sounded exactly like a dry bearing, but it was the poor mouse complaining most bitterly..

Shame it wasn't a customers computer- would have loved to have put down the repairs done
"remove faulty mouse"
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That's what usually happens when you try to defeat The Ventilator of Death!
 
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I can see requiring all those regulations for a corporate/work/secure password, but for just logging into some internet forum? I'd damn well rather be able to use "1234" if I want to.

The ones I really hate are "You can't use any (character) that you used in your last six passwords" and "Passwords must be changed every three months."
 
alfaniner said:
I can see requiring all those regulations for a corporate/work/secure password
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I don't, it barely adds any security and just annoys the heck out of me. Whose password would you think would be cracked easier, someone abiding by all those restrictions and using "Password1234" or me only using lower-case letters but using "thisisthepasswordiuseforloggingintothatskepticswebsite"?
 
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The more complicated and "random" the password mandated, and the more often changes are mandated, the more likely it will end up on a Post-It note affixed to the monitor.

It is silly to ask people to create new long random strings of characters every 3 months and then tell them to not write them down but to just memorize them. And that they should create a different long...etc. for every account they employ. That is beyond most people's ability to keep track.

I use the Apple keychain and keychains (especially the ones that generate different site-specific high complexity passwords when asked) appear to be a good compromise (one that is, of course, targeted by hackers too).
 
arthwollipot said:
Computers are supposed to be these predictable machines that do only what people tell them to do and nothing else. That was true in the 50s but today the things that people tell them to do are so complex that they are chaotic, and computers can and do sometimes behave unpredictably. That's why the 10% improvisation will always be a part of any computer support, and why it's a position that will probably not be taken over by artificial intelligence.
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There was a ditty from the 60s/70s, back when the early word processor solutions started making their way into secretarial pools.

Called, as I remember, "The Secretary's Lament"

I really hate this damned machine.
I wish that they would sell it.
It never does just what I want,
but only what I tell it.​
 
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