Norman Alexander
Penultimate Amazing
Using up their surplus budget before the EOFY.
Dear Users... (A thread for Sysadmin, Technical Support, and Help Desk people)
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arthwollipot
Limerick Purist Pronouns: He/Him
Of course. But watch what happens when EOFY arrives and we get a
Edited by Darat:
Breach of Rule 10 removed.
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Norman Alexander
Penultimate Amazing
Indeed!
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TragicMonkey
Poisoned Waffles
Somebody just got fired because they didn't listen to me when I pointed out that a particular piece of work should be handled as being of critical importance. They scoffed because what would I, a lowly data monkey, possibly know? I, the lowly data monkey, knew that an executive was planning to use those numbers from that piece of work to justify his bonus, that's what I knew.
arthwollipot
Limerick Purist Pronouns: He/Him
Aaah! I thought I was in Community! My apologies.
arthwollipot
Limerick Purist Pronouns: He/Him
Remember this?
Of course, this will mean that she can't use it on non-departmental computers, but that'll be totally fine because she doesn't own one.
I think I just spoke to her again. She has now successfully gained the access to write to a personal USB drive and I provided her with the instructions on how to encrypt her personal device so it is usable on departmental computers.
Of course, this will mean that she can't use it on non-departmental computers, but that'll be totally fine because she doesn't own one.
catsmate
No longer the 1
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I worked on an IT project years ago for <state agency>. We have three project managers, one with support drones, and me as SA to do the actual design.
malbui
Beauf
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A while ago I was asked to look at the structure and costs of a $multi-million IT project that wasn't advancing in spite of exploding costs. It turned out that every single member of the project committee and every sub-project manager had an external coach helping them with stuff.
If I was actually in charge of a large organization I would fire anyone that couldn't tell me in 10 words
- What they functionally do, as an actual measurable outcome that you personally accomplish.
Or
- What actual decisions you make.
Anyone who spends 4 paragraphs failing to explain how they "manage" or "organize" or "support" (that one's a grey area depending on context) things is probably going out the door.
Anyone who's familiar with Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy novels, I'm talking the 3rd spaceship the civilization sent to populate the new star system.
- What they functionally do, as an actual measurable outcome that you personally accomplish.
Or
- What actual decisions you make.
Anyone who spends 4 paragraphs failing to explain how they "manage" or "organize" or "support" (that one's a grey area depending on context) things is probably going out the door.
Anyone who's familiar with Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy novels, I'm talking the 3rd spaceship the civilization sent to populate the new star system.
alfaniner
Penultimate Amazing
I think you meant the "B" Ark.
TragicMonkey
Poisoned Waffles
But I proactively synergize the strategic growth initiatives! Without me, who will proact?! The company's syngergy will drain right away, and the strategy will recede and crust over and get mildew!! You can't fire me, I bring ephemeral value! Ephemeral!!! By making me explain this you've wasted precious time that I could have been ephemerating!!!!! YOU'RE DESTROYING THE BUSINESS!!!!! [burst into tears, storm out of room]
Wudang
BOFH
Norman Alexander
Penultimate Amazing
catsmate
No longer the 1
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Back in the old days when I worked for <REDACTED> I kept a small box in my desk. In it were a number of sealed phials, each containing a different poison (arsenic, mercury, thallium, antimony, strychnine, potassium cyanide, botulinum toxin, colchicine, sodium monofluoroacetate et cetera.
I would occasionally expound on the toxicological properties of common poisons, their quirks and regale my colleagues with the ease with which such substances could be produced.
HR were terrified of me. But had no discernible grounds for anything.
catsmate
No longer the 1
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Have a cup of coffee. Ignore the slight metallic taste....
gnome
Penultimate Amazing
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How'd that work out for them?
Wouldn't you worry that you'd lose vital people that actually are needed even if they have difficulty explaining it in short form?
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Norman Alexander
Penultimate Amazing
But I have all these Powerpoint slide decks explaining everything ready to go! I've spent SO much time making them!
*SOB*
arthwollipot
Limerick Purist Pronouns: He/Him
Working a public holiday again.
Holiday pay is great.
Holiday pay is great.
alfaniner
Penultimate Amazing
I got "demoted" from a programming position back to my old operating position in an effort for the company to eliminate people through attrition. It was a union job, so I couldn't just be laid off.
I went back to my old third shift position. But, per union rules, they couldn't reduce my pay -- in fact they had to add more to pay me the night differential. I stuck that out for oh, 18 months I think, costing them much more than they would have keeping me in my old position. I also had lots of time to look for a new job during the day, which I didn't do too hard.
But something came up which was even better, so I took it. I now get a pension from that old union job.
The Man
Unbanned zombie poster
Basically double-time for 8hrs while fewer people are around to screw things up. Though, unfortunately, with the recent work from home initiatives people are becoming more skilled at screwing things up from home.
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