Dear Users... (A thread for Sysadmin, Technical Support, and Help Desk people)

[arthwollipot]

I've just done one of those insanely repetitive tasks, in this case deleting data from 60 fields on a page, which of course I did using the keyboard Tab and Delete keys. There were two tabs after the first delete, and three after the second, and this was repeated 60 times and today I discovered that I could totally be a drummer in a prog rock band.

 

[novaphile]

I've just done one of those insanely repetitive tasks, in this case deleting data from 60 fields on a page, which of course I did using the keyboard Tab and Delete keys. There were two tabs after the first delete, and three after the second, and this was repeated 60 times and today I discovered that I could totally be a drummer in a prog rock band.

Out of interest, did you try Ctrl+A, Del ?

 

[alfaniner]

I've just done one of those insanely repetitive tasks, in this case deleting data from 60 fields on a page, which of course I did using the keyboard Tab and Delete keys. There were two tabs after the first delete, and three after the second, and this was repeated 60 times and today I discovered that I could totally be a drummer in a prog rock band.

I've encountered a lot of those required operations over the years. I liked when I had enough experience to determine whether it would take longer to do it manually or to write a macro/script to do it (or at least save a lot of keystrokes.)

 

[TragicMonkey]

I just uncovered plans for another team to assign work to my team, with the proviso that we "abide by" their SLAs. Yeah, that's so not going to happen. Do you write my performance reviews, lady? No? Then **** you and your deadlines, you got nothing over me. "But, but, but, the user needs this!" Overcoming the confusion between want and need is a key step towards personal growth, and I need to catch up on the first four seasons of Rita before I give a crap about your users you're trying to fob off onto me.

 

[Blue Mountain]

I just uncovered plans for another team to assign work to my team, with the proviso that we "abide by" their SLAs. Yeah, that's so not going to happen. Do you write my performance reviews, lady? No? Then **** you and your deadlines, you got nothing over me. "But, but, but, the user needs this!" Overcoming the confusion between want and need is a key step towards personal growth, and I need to catch up on the first four seasons of Rita before I give a crap about your users you're trying to fob off onto me.

You're assuming their SLAs are tighter than yours. What if they were looser? Instead of "Must have first response within one hour of submitting," it's "Meh, whenever"?

 

[TragicMonkey]

You're assuming their SLAs are tighter than yours. What if they were looser? Instead of "Must have first response within one hour of submitting," it's "Meh, whenever"?

I don't even have SLAs. The official position of my silo is "consider yourself lucky if we think about doing anything". I worked hard to get into a position where I'm about as immune from deliverable action as possible while still being employed.

 

[zooterkin]

I've encountered a lot of those required operations over the years. I liked when I had enough experience to determine whether it would take longer to do it manually or to write a macro/script to do it (or at least save a lot of keystrokes.)

This is where I'd be using the search and replace command with a regexp in vi.

 

[TragicMonkey]

This is where I'd be using the search and replace command with a regexp in vi.

I don't know what y'alls' workplaces are like, but my spirit animal is Stanley from The Office: "What we got here is a run out the clock situation."

 

[zooterkin]

I don't know what y'alls' workplaces are like, but my spirit animal is Stanley from The Office: "What we got here is a run out the clock situation."

Hey, I didn't say it would be quicker, just more satisfying than hammering repeatedly on the tab key.

 

[arthwollipot]

Out of interest, did you try Ctrl+A, Del ?

Ctrl-A selects only a single field. I was tabbing between many, many fields.

Hey, I didn't say it would be quicker, just more satisfying than hammering repeatedly on the tab key.

Hey, I was very satisfied cleanly tapping out a catchy 7/8 rhythm on my keyboard.

 

[JoeMorgue]

- Installing some vital, have to have, absolutely can't work without it because this user says so software. (Ignore the fact that literally everyone else in the organization has shifted to newer software)
- Software won't install because it requires a prerequisite install of of a specific Microsoft CLR Type for SQL servers.
- That prerequisite no longer exists on the Microsoft Website because the software she "can't work without" is 90 billion years old and has like a solid 2 or 3 tech generations out of date.
- Even attempting to suggest she just use the same software as literally everyone else in the company result in a total stonewalling shutdown complete with textbook dismissive "But I'm a widdle ole' lady and computers are just to confustabling for poor ole' me."
- Entering data into this piece of software is literally the entire scope of her job, not some little side role she occasionally does once in a blue moon.

 

[catsmate]

- Installing some vital, have to have, absolutely can't work without it because this user says so software. (Ignore the fact that literally everyone else in the organization has shifted to newer software)
- Software won't install because it requires a prerequisite install of of a specific Microsoft CLR Type for SQL servers.
- That prerequisite no longer exists on the Microsoft Website because the software she "can't work without" is 90 billion years old and has like a solid 2 or 3 tech generations out of date.
- Even attempting to suggest she just use the same software as literally everyone else in the company result in a total stonewalling shutdown complete with textbook dismissive "But I'm a widdle ole' lady and computers are just to confustabling for poor ole' me."- Entering data into this piece of software is literally the entire scope of her job, not some little side role she occasionally does once in a blue moon.

"Then you're obviously incapable of doing te job you were hired for. Goodbye".


I remember, over twenty years ago now, working on one of the first XP deployments. We were given an app to test (one of many).
The yellow flag was that it came on it's original 5.25" diskette.
The red flag was that during installation when it asked fro the video mode: CGA, EGA or Hercules.

I got it working fine, but then there were no odd dependencies in those days.

 

[JoeMorgue]

"Then you're obviously incapable of doing te job you were hired for. Goodbye".

Listen if I could fire users, this would be the easiest job in the world.

And this organization has a small number of "Made men" that seem to be protected from up on high and this particular user is one of them. I've never taken the time to delve deep into the history but I get the vague impression that this person worked directly from one of the doctors prior to the creation of the company (long story short my company is about a dozen cancer doctors who all had established practices, then formed a medical partnership for a few years, then a few years back finally incorporated in a singular practice) and is sort of just going to have a job until she dies or decides to retire.

My gut feeling is this lady was the "keys to the kingdom" back when everything was pen and paper and forms and carbon paper and all that jazz, someone who knew the workflow of the office so well you couldn't yank her out without making the whole thing fall down back in the days. But now she still holds the aura of an office lynchpin without doing anything outside of being in the way.

 

[Dr. Keith]

Listen if I could fire users, this would be the easiest job in the world.

And this organization has a small number of "Made men" that seem to be protected from up on high and this particular user is one of them. I've never taken the time to delve deep into the history but I get the vague impression that this person worked directly from one of the doctors prior to the creation of the company (long story short my company is about a dozen cancer doctors who all had established practices, then formed a medical partnership for a few years, then a few years back finally incorporated in a singular practice) and is sort of just going to have a job until she dies or decides to retire.

My gut feeling is this lady was the "keys to the kingdom" back when everything was pen and paper and forms and carbon paper and all that jazz, someone who knew the workflow of the office so well you couldn't yank her out without making the whole thing fall down back in the days. But now she still holds the aura of an office lynchpin without doing anything outside of being in the way.

She sounds like my hero.

 

[zooterkin]

Hey, I was very satisfied cleanly tapping out a catchy 7/8 rhythm on my keyboard.

Different strokes....

 

[TragicMonkey]

Listen if I could fire users, this would be the easiest job in the world.

And this organization has a small number of "Made men" that seem to be protected from up on high and this particular user is one of them. I've never taken the time to delve deep into the history but I get the vague impression that this person worked directly from one of the doctors prior to the creation of the company (long story short my company is about a dozen cancer doctors who all had established practices, then formed a medical partnership for a few years, then a few years back finally incorporated in a singular practice) and is sort of just going to have a job until she dies or decides to retire.

My gut feeling is this lady was the "keys to the kingdom" back when everything was pen and paper and forms and carbon paper and all that jazz, someone who knew the workflow of the office so well you couldn't yank her out without making the whole thing fall down back in the days. But now she still holds the aura of an office lynchpin without doing anything outside of being in the way.

I've run into a few of those. The solution is to put them in charge of a "special process improvement project" which isn't actually expected to do anything. They can then spend their time talking to their friends in every department, assembling spreadsheets of unnecessary data, and when they retire they'll hand over their files while beaming with the joy of knowing they're bequeathing you a great legacy of wisdom to fix all the processes.

eta: Lean Six Sigma is a wonderful program that teaches problematic employees to babysit themselves while making their own busywork. Highly recommend.

 

[arthwollipot]

Years ago (1994-95 or so) I worked with an IT trainer who knew nothing about IT but was incredibly good at rote learning and teaching. She literally memorised the steps with absolutely zero understanding of why those steps worked, and that was the way she taught IT - to do this, click this, then click this, then click this.

She was incredibly popular.

 

[quadraginta]

Years ago (1994-95 or so) I worked with an IT trainer who knew nothing about IT but was incredibly good at rote learning and teaching. She literally memorised the steps with absolutely zero understanding of why those steps worked, and that was the way she taught IT - to do this, click this, then click this, then click this.

She was incredibly popular.

Probably because so many people use exactly the same sort of process. She was one of them. They could identify with her. No geeky crap. No arcane lingo. No weird expositions on the difference between RAM and storage.

This is common in so many activities. The average car operator is largely clueless about any aspect of how an automobile actually works, but as long as they know which buttons to push, which levers to move, and in what order, etc., then they carry on brilliantly.

Until something breaks, and then they call in someone with a more technical proficiency. They won't hear a word those people say, but they'll let them fix it.

Remember the old saw about how half the people have below average intelligence? Well, this is just one aspect of that. It isn't a bad thing, its just life.

 

[arthwollipot]

Probably because so many people use exactly the same sort of process. She was one of them. They could identify with her. No geeky crap. No arcane lingo. No weird expositions on the difference between RAM and storage.

Not probably but exactly that. The result is that when someone slipped and accidentally clicked the wrong thing they had to call us to fix it, which usually ended up with a site visit because they weren't able to explain what they were looking at, at which visit we clicked one thing to fix it.

That was my first IT job. We joked that they ought to have put a life-sized cardboard cutout of me in the Deputy Secretary's office, because every time I went there, their problem magically went away.

 

[Norman Alexander]

Years ago (1994-95 or so) I worked with an IT trainer who knew nothing about IT but was incredibly good at rote learning and teaching. She literally memorised the steps with absolutely zero understanding of why those steps worked, and that was the way she taught IT - to do this, click this, then click this, then click this.

She was incredibly popular.

I work with a couple of Sysadmins who work exactly the same way trying to fix server problems. The reason is they can limit the "documentation" to a couple of paragraphs and get it "back in action" quickly. Never mind trying to find the reason or source of the problems. This is the CTL-ALT-DEL mode of "fixing stuff" at its ultimate.

The problem is that not all problems can be fixed using this method, and many problems will just repeat very soon again. So when their process (such as it is) fails them, they simply try doing stuff at random to try to fix things. Literally pushing buttons at random. As you can expect, it wastes an enormous amount of valuable time, and makes the problems even worse.

That's where I usually have to quietly but firmly step in and tell them to go get coffee while I fix it. From the coffee shop in another city. I'm far from being a wizard genius at this stuff, but by all that's holy, I can usually find the problem and make a permanent fix faster than all their dicking around.