Dear Users… (A thread for Sysadmin, Technical Support, and Help Desk people) Part 10

[Gord_in_Toronto]

It just took three experts 56 minutes to get it into the very thick skulls of management that if particular data isn't put into the database, we cannot pull that data out of the database. I know how much I'm paid per hour, and I'm pretty sure everyone else on the call is paid even more, so this was a waste not just of my time and patience but also money.

How do these people get promoted?!



eta: They've scheduled another call for next week so it can be gone over again, with more people.

Another meeting? With more people? Isn't there some rule that connects the number of people in a meeting with the inverse of actually producing a result? Good luck.

 

[Norman Alexander]

It just took three experts 56 minutes to get it into the very thick skulls of management that if particular data isn't put into the database, we cannot pull that data out of the database. I know how much I'm paid per hour, and I'm pretty sure everyone else on the call is paid even more, so this was a waste not just of my time and patience but also money.

How do these people get promoted?!



eta: They've scheduled another call for next week so it can be gone over again, with more people.

Charge them back at your aggregated hourly rates for this effort. Chances are that will be a sizeable sum. They will complain, and you can withdraw the charge "reluctantly". But they will remember that their thickness will cost them.

 

[catsmate]

It just took three experts 56 minutes to get it into the very thick skulls of management that if particular data isn't put into the database, we cannot pull that data out of the database. I know how much I'm paid per hour, and I'm pretty sure everyone else on the call is paid even more, so this was a waste not just of my time and patience but also money.

How do these people get promoted?!
.

The Peter Principle.

 

[Wudang]

The Peter Principle.

I still remember the pleasant shock I had in a group call with a senior IT executive at t'Bank when I wanted to explain how a particular tool worked and I asked "Do you know what a concentrator network is?" and he replied "Of course." I put my crayons and sock puppets back in the drawer.

 

[a_unique_person]

It just took three experts 56 minutes to get it into the very thick skulls of management that if particular data isn't put into the database, we cannot pull that data out of the database. I know how much I'm paid per hour, and I'm pretty sure everyone else on the call is paid even more, so this was a waste not just of my time and patience but also money.

How do these people get promoted?!



eta: They've scheduled another call for next week so it can be gone over again, with more people.

Because they believe the jargon.

 

[rdaneel]

It just took three experts 56 minutes to get it into the very thick skulls of management that if particular data isn't put into the database, we cannot pull that data out of the database. I know how much I'm paid per hour, and I'm pretty sure everyone else on the call is paid even more, so this was a waste not just of my time and patience but also money.

How do these people get promoted?!



eta: They've scheduled another call for next week so it can be gone over again, with more people.

Makes me think of the recurring theme of users thinking it's all magic.

"You mean you can't just pull this rabbit out of your hat?"

 

[arthwollipot]

I just took a phone call from someone who phoned us to tell us that they couldn't phone us. I guess.

How do these people get promoted?!

The Peter Principle.

People are promoted to their level of incompetence.

 

[zooterkin]

I just took a phone call from someone who phoned us to tell us that they couldn't phone us. I guess.

People are promoted to their level of incompetence.

That’s what catsmate said.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_principle

 

[The Don]

It just took three experts 56 minutes to get it into the very thick skulls of management that if particular data isn't put into the database, we cannot pull that data out of the database. I know how much I'm paid per hour, and I'm pretty sure everyone else on the call is paid even more, so this was a waste not just of my time and patience but also money.

How do these people get promoted?!



eta: They've scheduled another call for next week so it can be gone over again, with more people.

One of my specialities is large-scale data migration and in particular the sort of data consolidation that goes on during mergers and acquisitions.

It never ceases to amaze me how often clients/senior business people think that migration can fix all the problems in the source data such as someone not filling in their email or entering a valid address which happens to be factually accurate - and don't even get me started on how to migrate data from System B into the new system when it was never migrated from System A which was retired when System B was commissioned.

 

[arthwollipot]

That’s what catsmate said.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_principle

Yes, I was explaining what the Peter Principle said for people who don't click links.

 

[Filippo Lippi]

Terrible code created by the nicest bloke in office....

Sent from my SM-G973F using Tapatalk

 

[catsmate]

It just took three experts 56 minutes to get it into the very thick skulls of management that if particular data isn't put into the database, we cannot pull that data out of the database. I know how much I'm paid per hour, and I'm pretty sure everyone else on the call is paid even more, so this was a waste not just of my time and patience but also money.

How do these people get promoted?!



eta: They've scheduled another call for next week so it can be gone over again, with more people.

Back when I was a consultant for <REDACTED> I worked on a client deployment project for <CLIENT> a major international airline. At one, hour long, meeting the main topic of discussion for the eleven client staff present was what the default font for Word and Excel should be when Microsoft Office was deployed (they'd previously been using SmartSuite).
The PM of our little team (who was doing he deployment) was reduced to catatonia.

 

[catsmate]

Another point that repeatedly crops up in these situations, not directly related to the Unfortunate Ape's example, is Parkinson's Principle or the Law of Triviality (wiki).

In general the time and effort expended on any item on a meeting agenda will be in inverse proportion to the complexity, importance and value of that item.

However, if applied carefully, this can be an excellent way to persuade a managing committee, who are usually technically illiterate, to be guided to the desired choice.

 

[Wudang]

One of my specialities is large-scale data migration and in particular the sort of data consolidation that goes on during mergers and acquisitions.

It never ceases to amaze me how often clients/senior business people think that migration can fix all the problems in the source data such as someone not filling in their email or entering a valid address which happens to be factually accurate - and don't even get me started on how to migrate data from System B into the new system when it was never migrated from System A which was retired when System B was commissioned.

My wife does the same for companies moving to new systems . The number of companies who think that somehow moving from system A to system B will magically fix all the crap data entered by staff on minimum wage and zero career prospects is amazing.

 

[malbui]

My wife works in that field as well and for the last eighteen months has been running a huge data migration exercise arising from a corporate merger.

Lots of careful analysis and testing has revealed that people’s recollections of what got migrated into the current systems and when are singularly inaccurate.

It is also clear that there has been a certain level of… carelessness in respect of data integrity monitoring over the years.

She is also amused by the number of senior staff who insist that all historical data from business unit X from years YYYY to YYZZ must be available in the new systems, even though these data are not in the current system and indeed the servers on which they were stored have been sitting switched off in a basement for several years.

She is extremely good at her job but reports that a good 80% of it is real low-hanging fruit stuff.

 

[Filippo Lippi]

If business unit X needs data from year YZZY they'll all be transported to the debris room

 

[TragicMonkey]

Another point that repeatedly crops up in these situations, not directly related to the Unfortunate Ape's example, is Parkinson's Principle or the Law of Triviality (wiki).

In general the time and effort expended on any item on a meeting agenda will be in inverse proportion to the complexity, importance and value of that item.

However, if applied carefully, this can be an excellent way to persuade a managing committee, who are usually technically illiterate, to be guided to the desired choice.

Years ago I wrote here of the middle management meetings I attended at the job I had at the time, where we spent two minutes on a multiple million dollar shortfall and an hour on the dress code definition of flip flop vs sandal. The latter issue was a huge controversy and came up in every meeting every summer.

 

[malbui]

Another point that repeatedly crops up in these situations, not directly related to the Unfortunate Ape's example, is Parkinson's Principle or the Law of Triviality (wiki).

In general the time and effort expended on any item on a meeting agenda will be in inverse proportion to the complexity, importance and value of that item.

However, if applied carefully, this can be an excellent way to persuade a managing committee, who are usually technically illiterate, to be guided to the desired choice.

I’ve been a member of all of our executive committees for the last three years. One of the many advantages of enforced home office has been that during these hideous almost weekly timesinks I can do interesting things on my two big screens while keeping half an eye on the presentation unfolding on my laptop screen. I reckon on average there’s about half an hour of useful stuff in each meeting, most of it spontaneous AOB items at the end.

 

[Filippo Lippi]

Years ago I wrote here of the middle management meetings I attended at the job I had at the time, where we spent two minutes on a multiple million dollar shortfall and an hour on the dress code definition of flip flop vs sandal. The latter issue was a huge controversy and came up in every meeting every summer.

"can we have better Fruit and herbal tea selection in the vending machines?" was always fired at senior management in one of my workplaces

Sent from my SM-G973F using Tapatalk

 

[TragicMonkey]

Dear Users: 90 minutes before my first actual vacation of the year, which will take me out of the office for the rest of the year, is not the time to make a massive new and urgent request.

Fortunately for me, what you're asking for is very, very stupid, and requires you to answer five questions critical to the core logic before I can possibly begin. Good luck answering all five (or understanding them), in your committee of eight people, in the next 89 minutes!

Love always,
[Recipient is Out of Office: "Hi everyone, I'm out on PTO until Jan 3. Address urgent issues to Tiffany S."]

(Tiffany's out until Jan 5, btw)