Dear Users… (A thread for Sysadmin, Technical Support, and Help Desk people) Part 10

[TragicMonkey]

Dear Boss: remember when I suggested doing that one thing that one way might not be a good idea? And you ordered me to do it anyway? The president of our company (your boss's boss's boss's boss) just asked me directly to explain whose idea it was.

I save all my emails.

Love,
TragicMonkey

 

[arthwollipot]

Should have contacted the service desk to do it...

Turns out that the T1 on the 7pm shift called in sick and no-one covered it. It's sorted for today.

Am havening problems

Add normal program termination.

 

[arthwollipot]

What the hell does this mean?

PowerPoint crashing with multiple windows open upon closing one normally only 2 windows open when this happens

And I have already suggested that this particular T1 take a look at the Chronicles of George.

 

[Darat]

42?

 

[Norman Alexander]

Yeah, punctuation is a dying art... But I'll have a go!

PowerPoint crashing with multiple windows open. Upon closing one normally, only 2 windows (can be) open(ned) (w)then this happens.

More betterer?

 

[TragicMonkey]

I find it's helpful to rephrase all requests as haiku:

PowerPoint crashes,
many windows are opened
but none are normal.

To which the answer would be:

Foolish idiot,
seeking help for your folly;
you are the problem.

 

[alfaniner]

I find it's helpful to rephrase all requests as haiku:

PowerPoint crashes,
many windows are opened
but none are normal.

To which the answer would be:

Foolish idiot,
seeking help for your folly;
you are the problem.

The effort you put into even a single post just astounds me. Kudos.

 

[gnome]

I love error haikus.

You step in the stream
But the river has moved on
Error 404

 

[TragicMonkey]

Too many records?
This is perplexing to me.
Oh! A busted join!

 

[a_unique_person]

Helpdesk tickets must be in the form of a haiku or they will be rejected.

 

[arthwollipot]

Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.

 

[TragicMonkey]

Another request?
Unreasonable demands
merit grisly death.

 

[arthwollipot]

Your file is so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.

 

[TragicMonkey]

This should be simple?
Eight nested CTEs in...
I think: maybe not.

 

[arthwollipot]

Chaos reigns within
Reflect, repent, and reboot
Order shall return

Seriously, I've got a heap of these stored up. This one should give you an idea of how long I've had this file:

Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.

 

[Wudang]

Or if a lot of details are needed, the sonnet form is acceptable.

 

[Wudang]

Havening problems
with geting on to network
it is diening

 

[Hellbound]

Look closely
At the error you see
It is a mirror


Sent from my volcanic island lair using carrier pigeon.

 

[gnome]

Password rejected
Reset request disappoints
It says it's the same

 

[Yalius]

Tried to send ticket,
Has to be in a haiku?
Unfortunately, I haven't got a clue how to follow even the most basic of processes and honestly if I could find a way to screw up my problem even more with my self-destructive floundering as I try to fix the problem without even a shred of competence, you know I bet I'm so useless at understanding technical issues this helpdesk ticket is going to cause a buffer overflow issue in the database and corrupt the whole dang thing, but whatever, I still don't understand what a haiku is.