Dan Brown: why the hate?

They are rubbish.
No, on second thoughts they stink. A rancid, awful, ten-week-old-in-high-summer-rotting-prostitute's-corpse-covered-with-tramps-feces type of stink. They significantly reduce the overall literacy of mankind, because anyone able to read and enjoy them has regressed to illiteracy.

I'm not kidding either, My Great Aunt, (a former headmistress and author of two well known books on archaeology), was reduced to a reading age of PRE-BIRTH!!!!! by 'The Davinci Code", and had to be forced to read Dostoyevsky for 18 months to restore her to a reasonable level of comprehension. Sadly some trauma will always persist and her fear of albinos is ineradicable.

I myself began to read 'Angel and Demons', whilst recovering from my recent penis implant, and was only saved from utter imbecility by having the good fortune to glance at the picture of Mr.Brown on the back page. I have no clear recollection of what followed , but Sister Urmshaw testifies that I was saved from certain death by the intervention of seventeen rugby players who were visiting a patient in the next bed who had been emasculated in a vicious scrum. Apparently the medical staff took the book down to the X-ray Dept. where it was thoroughly irradiated and then sent to an M.O.D. landfill site to be buried forever.
My idiot son-in-law has read several of the books with ill effects, but to be honest you could remove his head and still achieve the same level of intellectual brilliance.

However, don't let me put you off. If you want to be infuriated with a lack of scholarship, annoyed by the general willingness to accept ***** as fact, hacked off by all and sundry praising dog lime coated in gold, witness to the greatest act of bare faced plagiarism and cheek in the past few years, and numbed into insensibility by the cretinism of the plots, then by all means dear reader, proceed.
 
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ReverendClog said:
They are rubbish.
No, on second thoughts they stink. A rancid, awful, ten-week-old-in-high-summer-rotting-prostitute's-corpse-covered-with-tramps-feces type of stink. They significantly reduce the overall literacy of mankind, because anyone able to read and enjoy them has regressed to illiteracy.

I'm not kidding either, My Great Aunt, (a former headmistress and author of two well known books on archaeology), was reduced to a reading age of PRE-BIRTH!!!!! by 'The Davinci Code", and had to be forced to read Dostoyevsky for 18 months to restore her to a reasonable level of comprehension. Sadly some trauma will always persist and her fear of albinos is ineradicable.

I myself began to read 'Angel and Demons', whilst recovering from my recent penis implant, and was only saved from utter imbecility by having the good fortune to glance at the picture of Mr.Brown on the back page. I have no clear recollection of what followed , but Sister Urmshaw testifies that I was saved from certain death by the intervention of seventeen rugby players who were visiting a patient in the next bed who had been emasculated in a vicious scrum. Apparently the medical staff took the book down to the X-ray Dept. where it was thoroughly irradiated and then sent to an M.O.D. landfill site to be buried forever.
My idiot son-in-law has read several of the books with ill effects, but to be honest you could remove his head and still achieve the same level of intellectual brilliance.

However, don't let me put you off. If you want to be infuriated with a lack of scholarship, annoyed by the general willingness to accept ***** as fact, hacked off by all and sundry praising dog lime coated in gold, witness to the greatest act of bare faced plagiarism and cheek in the past few years, and numbed into insensibility by the cretinism of the plots, then by all means dear reader, proceed.
Click to expand...

Tell us what you really thought of the book...


:D
 
OK, so a couple of weeks ago I read The DaVinci Code.
Everything's been said about it, hasn't it?

What I found really irritating as well is that the books I read all take place in a limited time. I kept checking my internal clock to see if it made any sense (not much, to be honest).
 
I like Dan Brown. When I'm bored and have nothing to do for a one- to two- day stretch, His stuff is good.

Of course, if you're looking for literary brilliance, you are perhaps the dumbest person in the world if you think you'll find it in a Dan Brown novel. All the literary criticism has been made already, so I'll just say this:

I also suck at putting the amazingly imaginative thoughts I have into words on a piece of paper. But at least I know it and don't try to subject the rest of the world to my failings.

You must, however, remember one thing when reading the Robert Langdon trilogy: those "facts" Dan Brown writes about? They're not facts. In fact, they're all a load of total bull:rule10. If you can remember that, then his books will keep you mildly entertained for a day or two... then you will forget them, never to think of them again... unless, of course, you're such a snobbish literary elite that reading Dan Brown makes you go to the hospital...

Sadly... I could not blame you if it does...

My only excuse for being able to stomach Dan Brown is that I immunized myself against such horrid authorship by reading the first novel of Twilight...

The horror I will never fully get away from, but in the end, it was worthit...

... I think...

...

...

...

And trust me when I say... even Dan Brown is better than Twilight. That I can promise you. Indeed, I will safely bet my life on such a premise because I'm sure it can be proven to be a fact. I'm quite sure that, if tested, this hypothesis could be proven empirically via the Scientific Method and survive peer review: anything Dan Brown writes will be better than Twilight.
 
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I have only read The DaVinci Code and in terms of writing it was bad to mediocre, with a few howlers thrown in.

As for the "hate" well if Brown had simply served his book as a piece of fiction no problem. However Mr. Brown insisted upon highlighting the "truthful" aspects of his book. Like some of the posters here have said Brown wants it both ways. If he is pressed he will say its a piece of fiction. Otherwise he will talk about how much "real history" is in his book. The result is a lot of the people reading the book think it is true, about the conspiracy, the Priory of Sion, the Grail blood line, Jesus marrying Mary Magdalane etc. And if Brown's interviews are anything to go by so apparently does Brown. All this is really, really infuriating.

As for the movies. I only saw The DaVinci Code and it sucked major. Bad acting, terrible script, and some of the action scenes involving the Albino Monk were very funny; as a vilain he was pure cardboard. But what put it over the top was the bad history lesson given by that Prof. to our hero. The nonsense was armpit deep. It was all in all a movie made in pap.
 
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