Creationists Argue Nessie Exists

[Tricky]

There once was a man from the loch.
Who said "This whole thread is a croch."
"If I said by mistake
That it looked like a lake
They would probably cut off my coch."

 

[UnrepentantSinner]

It's true Nessie is something of a little earner, but it's mostly boat trips which are worth going on for their own sake, and you only have to put up with a little bit of "well you never know" from the guide. I don't know what percentage of their custom is from people who actually believe Nessie exists - I think it's mostly people who want a nice scenic sail, and people who are prepared to go along with it for a bit of fun.

There's also a "museum" or two dedicated to the Monster, I don't know what's in them as I've never stumped up to go see. And you can buy everything from cute three-piece pottery models of Nessie to Nessie tea-towels and silly hats. That's about it. I don't think there's any serious Nessie-hunting going on most days of the year. Every time someone announces they're going to do that, the press run silly-season articles about it.

Very little of the tourist hokum requires anyone seriously to believe there's a monster there.

Rolfe.

the sad thing is that Loch Ness does have one very scientifically interesting feature, which is nothing to do with imaginary monsters. Cherry Island (or Eilean Muireach to use its gaelic name) is an excellent example of a crannog, an artificial island created during the iron age. Examples of landscape engineering from thousands of years ago are fascinating.

I would love to visit Loch Ness. Glacial lakes and fjords are cool, there's a lot of other neat features there. And while I roll my eyes at the Nessie claims, I remember fondly reading Forteana back in the day and seeing eerie black and white photos of Urquhart Castle from the loch.

 

[Ian Osborne]

I wonder if there's a pub in Scotland called 'The Loch Inn'?

 

[malicus]

I wonder if there's a pub in Scotland called 'The Loch Inn'?

Yup, why?

 

[Rolfe]

Dragging this thread back on topic by the scruff of its neck, the Herald had a follow-up article in today.

The Monster Madness

Local student Ashley Barbier said: "As an American living in Louisiana, I would just like to say that not everyone here has fallen victim to these radical religious outcries and that some of us still prize logic and reason. "Living here, you get used to hearing a lot of different agendas and fundamentalist groups of all sorts. It is a sad state of affairs in the American Deep South, but not all hope is lost, just most.

"My husband and I are presently trying to leave the country by means of emigration. We're extremely tired of this backwards redneck nonsense."

Elsewhere in the US, leading educationalist David Berliner, a professor at Arizona State University, voiced fears that American children would grow up forever believing that Nessie is real.

"Some of the pupils come out of it, some of them go to secular schools," he said. "They're not all ignorant, some of them are quite bright and open to new experiences.

"But some of them will continue to believe what they've been taught forever – that aliens gave us the pyramids, that Nessie lives and evolution is nonsense, that baby Jesus rode on the back of a dinosaur, and Noah's Ark had unicorns."

Rolfe.

 

[bluesjnr]

There once was a man from the loch.
Who said "This whole thread is a croch."
"If I said by mistake
That it looked like a lake
They would probably cut off my coch."

This doesn't work because (as I predicted here) you don't know how to pronounce the word "loch".

I wonder if there's a pub in Scotland called 'The Loch Inn'?

There are a few. I think your aside might never have seen the light of day if you were able to pronounce the word "loch".

(Hint - it doesn't sound like "crock", cock" or "lock")

 

[The Don]

The one thing that never ceases to surprise me is the way that Nessie manages to launch herself into the national conciousness just as the school holidays are about to start. You'd almost wonder whether the Loch Ness Tourist Office have been scouting for just such a story.

 

[catsmate]

It was a Great Old One. This knowledge was given to me by revelation, and so is unquestionable. It was further confirmed by the tentacle-shaped lightning that I just saw.

Fair enough. As long as you have a rational and reasonable basis for your knowledge.

 

[Darat]

...snip...

(Hint - it doesn't sound like "crock", cock" or "lock")

Scotland like many countries has a lot of different accents and since there is not an "official" accent one cannot say how a particular word should be pronounced. How loch is pronounced will vary from accent to accent and I know some Scottish people who do indeed pronounce it so it sounds like "cock" in some English dialects/accent (remember how a word like "cock" sounds will also vary from accent to accent).

 

[DrDave]

Scotland like many countries has a lot of different accents and since there is not an "official" accent one cannot say how a particular word should be pronounced. How loch is pronounced will vary from accent to accent and I know some Scottish people who do indeed pronounce it so it sounds like "cock" in some English dialects/accent (remember how a word like "cock" sounds will also vary from accent to accent).

But are they true Scottish people?

 

[bluesjnr]

Scotland like many countries has a lot of different accents and since there is not an "official" accent one cannot say how a particular word should be pronounced. How loch is pronounced will vary from accent to accent and I know some Scottish people who do indeed pronounce it so it sounds like "cock" in some English dialects/accent (remember how a word like "cock" sounds will also vary from accent to accent).

That it is acceptable, does not make it right.

I know some Glaswegians and a load of Londoners who say "deaf" when they mean "death". The majority of East enders will tell you what they "fink", this is nothing to do with accents, it's simply pronouncing a word wrong. Both are considered acceptable but they sure as hell ain't right.

 

[Tricky]

This doesn't work because (as I predicted here) you don't know how to pronounce the word "loch".



There are a few. I think your aside might never have seen the light of day if you were able to pronounce the word "loch".

(Hint - it doesn't sound like "crock", cock" or "lock")

Oh really?
Try out the first pronunciation.

 

[funk de fino]

Oh really?
Try out the first pronunciation.

If that had been the jack-victor dictionary you may have won.

 

[bluesjnr]

Oh really?
Try out the first pronunciation.

Spoken by an American woman who (as I predicted here) doesn't know how to pronounce "loch".

You guys are really going out of your way here.

 

[tsig]

That it is acceptable, does not make it right.

I know some Glaswegians and a load of Londoners who say "deaf" when they mean "death". The majority of East enders will tell you what they "fink", this is nothing to do with accents, it's simply pronouncing a word wrong. Both are considered acceptable but they sure as hell ain't right.

And you are the absolute authority on Scottish?

 

[bluesjnr]

And you are the absolute authority on Scottish?

Would you like to explain how you came to this conclusion, based on the post you've quoted and assuming that your post is not a statement?

I think the fact that I am Scottish gives me a bit of insight into the correct pronunciation of some (not all) of our words. I can tell you, categorically, that pronouncing "loch" as in "lock", whilst acceptable is incorrect. I really can't see why you or anyone else should have a problem with that

 

[Rolfe]

It's going to get you some funny looks though, and possibly misunderstanding. I'd assume you were of English origin if you pronounced it like that.

When I was at school our geography teacher was English. (In retrospect, somewhere in the north of England, though I couldn't have told you that at the time, the English were a homogeneous lot to my 13-year-old ears.) We had a couple of lessons on the Caledonian Canal. I've never been so confused in my life.

Rolfe.

 

[bluesjnr]

It's going to get you some funny looks though, and possibly misunderstanding. I'd assume you were of English origin if you pronounced it like that.

When I was at school our geography teacher was English. (In retrospect, somewhere in the north of England, though I couldn't have told you that at the time, the English were a homogeneous lot to my 13-year-old ears.) We had a couple of lessons on the Caledonian Canal. I've never been so confused in my life.

Rolfe.

What do you know, you're only Scottish?

And bear in mind that I'm the "absolute authority on Scottish".

 

[Wudang]

Scotland like many countries has a lot of different accents and since there is not an "official" accent one cannot say how a particular word should be pronounced. How loch is pronounced will vary from accent to accent and I know some Scottish people who do indeed pronounce it so it sounds like "cock" in some English dialects/accent (remember how a word like "cock" sounds will also vary from accent to accent).

Evidence?

I can't think of any scots accents where they've dropped the "ch" sound. Certainly not along the west coast or all the middle and eastern bits I know.

 

[Rolfe]

I remember this one time at band camp, one of the adult leaders was an Englishwoman who had lived a long time in Scotland and could manage "Kinlochard" (which is where we were camping). "Loch Achray" caused severe stress though. Then we tried her on "Stronachlachar", and she ran off, weeping.

Children can be so cruel.

Rolfe.