Cracked: 5 Most Misguided Uses of the word 'Quantum'

[Frozenwolf150]

From today:
http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-5-most-misguided-uses-word-quantum-in-ads/

You don't need to be a psychic to predict what these advertisers are trying to sell. It's all there: sex, homeopathy, fad dieting, detergent (WTF?) and finally, everything Deepak Chopra.

So yeah. Rather than looking up the actual definition of the word, or doing the least amount of research into quantum mechanics, they just throw it around because it's a cool-sounding "scientific" word that makes them seem like they have more credibility. It's enough to make me want to quantum hurl. (Wait, how would that work?)

I have lots more to say about Chopra, but the article does it better than I could.

 

[xtifr]

They left out one of my absolute favorites: Quantum Jumping. See, it's like a quantum leap, except you actually jump, and somehow, if you do it in the right frame of mind, it leads to some sort of enlightenment.

No, I'm not joking. Boy, I wish I were!

 

[pakeha]

Thanks for the pre-coffee laughs!

 

[Hellbound]

It's enough to make me want to quantum hurl. (Wait, how would that work?)

I'd surmise it would be chunky.

 

[ehcks]

He might as well recommend ... saving time on your commute by approaching the speed of light so that all red lights look green.

No idea why, but that was actually laugh-worthy

 

[Tomtomkent]

You should probably look up the episode of Modern Life Is Goodish where Dave Gorman dissects the Quantum dishwasher detergent. I won't ruin it for you here, but You tube will be your friend....

 

[arthwollipot]

They left out one of my absolute favorites: Quantum Jumping. See, it's like a quantum leap, except you actually jump, and somehow, if you do it in the right frame of mind, it leads to some sort of enlightenment.

No, I'm not joking. Boy, I wish I were!

Yes, it's one of my favourites too. The idea is that since there are an infinite number of universes (proven by quantum mechanics), there are an infinite variety of different yous in them. By quantum jumping, you can communicate with the different yous and they can teach you stuff.

Want to learn kung fu? Just quantum jump into the universe where you know kung fu, and get yourself to teach yourself kung fu! How simple is that?

Yes, I'm serious. Go look it up if you don't believe me.

 

[Howie Felterbush]

Yes, it's one of my favourites too. The idea is that since there are an infinite number of universes (proven by quantum mechanics), there are an infinite variety of different yous in them. By quantum jumping, you can communicate with the different yous and they can teach you stuff.

Want to learn kung fu? Just quantum jump into the universe where you know kung fu, and get yourself to teach yourself kung fu! How simple is that?

Yes, I'm serious. Go look it up if you don't believe me.

I didn't believe you.
And I did look it up.
And now a small part of my brain has died.
It was the part that was in charge of remembering my mom's birthday.

Thanks a lot, Arth.

 

[arthwollipot]

My work here is done.

 

[Tomtomkent]

Yes, it's one of my favourites too. The idea is that since there are an infinite number of universes (proven by quantum mechanics), there are an infinite variety of different yous in them. By quantum jumping, you can communicate with the different yous and they can teach you stuff.

Want to learn kung fu? Just quantum jump into the universe where you know kung fu, and get yourself to teach yourself kung fu! How simple is that?

Yes, I'm serious. Go look it up if you don't believe me.

As long as what you want to learn is "Where does Al get his suits?"

 

[Howie Felterbush]

As long as what you want to learn is "Where does Al get his suits?"

DON'T CLICK THAT LINK!!!

Your mom will never forgive you!

 

[Tomtomkent]

DON'T CLICK THAT LINK!!!

Your mom will never forgive you!

Could I not quantum jump back and set right what once went wrong?

 

[pakeha]

Yes, it's one of my favourites too. The idea is that since there are an infinite number of universes (proven by quantum mechanics), there are an infinite variety of different yous in them. By quantum jumping, you can communicate with the different yous and they can teach you stuff.

Want to learn kung fu? Just quantum jump into the universe where you know kung fu, and get yourself to teach yourself kung fu! How simple is that?

Yes, I'm serious. Go look it up if you don't believe me.

DON'T CLICK THAT LINK!!!

Your mom will never forgive you!

Of course I clicked on the link.
But I can't remember why.

 

[wareyin]

You should probably look up the episode of Modern Life Is Goodish where Dave Gorman dissects the Quantum dishwasher detergent. I won't ruin it for you here, but You tube will be your friend....

Got a link? All I could find were teasers, and he does look funny.

 

[Tomtomkent]

Got a link? All I could find were teasers, and he does look funny.

Not to hand... Dave On Demand doesn't let you link.

And though it used to be on You Tube they must have cracked down as I can't find the section in question. I suppose it must be available behind a pay wall somewhere so the naughty elves cant put it on you tube any more...

 

[wareyin]

I did find one done by recording a tv with a phone. Thanks for pointing out this comedian.

 

[RockNroll]

They left out one of my absolute favorites: Quantum Jumping. See, it's like a quantum leap, except you actually jump, and somehow, if you do it in the right frame of mind, it leads to some sort of enlightenment.

No, I'm not joking. Boy, I wish I were!

Is that the spiritual successor of yogic butt-hopping... err, I mean, "yogic flying"?

 

[arthwollipot]

Is that the spiritual successor of yogic butt-hopping... err, I mean, "yogic flying"?

No - completely different. In every conceivable way.

 

[Tomtomkent]

I did find one done by recording a tv with a phone. Thanks for pointing out this comedian.

There is probably a DVD out. You tube is fine for short clips, but if you like it, show a little support.

 

[Tomtomkent]

No - completely different. In every conceivable way.

Every possible way at the same time because...Quantum!