Coping with cancer...

Antiquehunter

Degenerate Gambler
Antiquehunter
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Aug 7, 2005
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As some of you may already know, my mother was diagnosed with cancer 5 days ago. I still don't know many of the details around her particular illness as she is still undergoing testing and biopsies etc...

Thanks for all the support I've received here from many posters, and all the great links which have helped me understand more about this disease.

The purpose of this thread is for me to rant about the skeptical issues that are already coming up around my mother's illness. I expect that as she goes through this struggle, I will be challenged on my skepticism and atheism in a variety of ways.

Case in point:

Consider - its been five days since initial diagnosis. We still don't know basic questions like where is the primary cancer, what stage is she in, what is the recommended treatment etc...

When I spoke with her this morning, a NURSE in the hospital has recommended to her that she try 'Xango Juice' because "A woman who had cancer of the ovaries, stomach and bowel took Xango juice for 21 days every month and has lived with her cancer for four years." 30 seconds of googling - Xango juice is a cheesy MLM-sold fruit juice concoction. I don't even think Xango juice has been on the market for four years... Anyhoo...

So - after explaining to my mother in the politest terms that she is free to treat her condition in any way she feels fit - but that fruit fuice, no matter how expensive or exotic, is not a cure for cancer. If indeed, it was a cure for cancer, that she would already have been given Xango at the hospital. Naturally - my mother sounds all disappointed and hurt - since she is grasping at the moment at any straw that gives her some hope.

5 days into this experience, and already NURSES (people who we should be able to trust) are trying to take advantage of a (likely) dying woman in a weakened state to buy crap.

5 days.

Sigh.

-AH.
 
Well, nurses are not doctors for a reason. It's called "medical" school. The fact she would recommend any kind of treatment for anything including cancer would cause me to ignore her. That is outside her perview and totally overstepping her bounds. The details of what she says are meaningless.

Let's hope your mother's cancer isn't too serious. Not knowing yet does allow you to hold out hope for the mild kinds. ;)
 
Point taken - she is a nurse and not a doctor. But - I see something more insidious here. We're talking about taking advantage for personal gain. I'm sure that if my mother carried down the path of wanting the juice - the only source would be TO BUY IT FROM THE NURSE. So - she is effectively using her job in a hospital to pitch woo crap to people unable to defend themselves. Its like being trapped in an Amway convention...

My other point being - if its only taken 5 days for the woos to start circling - how long before the faith healers, the magnet sales people, the shark cartiledge vitamin vendors and every other quack on the block start feeding her lines??? I can picture them all gathered around her bed, rubbing their palms together...

Grr.

-AH.
 
Nurses are the #1 target of my paper that's stickied in this subforum, AH. More woo comes from them than anything I have ever seen, and I think it may be because some are actually arrogant enough to think that because tehy are around doctors, they are as good as doctors. If it sounds vaguely like science, they're all over it.

It's bullsh*t.

I hereby give you permission in the name of cancer patients to tell that f***ing woman off. While you're at it, get her supervisor involved. I am sure that person would be interested to know that a nurse is pushing an MLM on patients. That's grounds for dismissal.

Hang in there. You have lots of friends to listen. Like me.


And to answer your question about the rest of the woo circling overhead: They already are, and you will never be rid of them. The second someone hears "cancer" they immediately bring out all woo guns they have. Do not be afraid to tell them where to stick it, and do not feel bad about offending them. It's a long battle with the cancer woos. I'm just getting you prepared.

(eta: you have read my paper, right? Feel free to use the arguments in there against the woos.)
 
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So do you have a precise diagnosis? The doctors might say it is likely to be cancer but for that to be more accurate they need to have a specific tumor type diagnosis. Which means they need to biopsy some or all of the sites. This will give you a clue as to the origin of the tumor(s). As far as battling the crap that comes your way, it sounds like you are doing a good job so far.
 
Hi dogdoctor - no specifics yet. We've had two catscans, a mammogram, a bone scan - biopsies are scheduled, but I don't even know what sites they intend to biopsy.

What I know:

Initial catscan showed "Cancer Involvements" (doctor's words) in the breast, liver and spine.

Mammogram anecdotally looks 'clear of cancer' in the opinion of the radiologist.

No other results have been revealed. So this is day 5 of 'hurry up and wait'.

Fowlsound - no, I haven't read your paper - but I will check out your sticky post and assume I'll find it therein?

-AH.
 
Well from limited information I would say it sounds like breast cancer however with a negative mammogram then that is probably why the doctor has not mentioned that as a likely diagnosis. I imagine they will biopsy the breast lesion soon since it is easily available though maybe not since it was invisible to mammogram. My sister-in-law had people giving her herbal crap and she asked me about it so I printed out information about the herb from a reliable internet site which deterred her from using it and left her surprised that a person would use it and that they would try to get her to use it. Sister-in-law then went on and helped in getting that herbal person to get surgery and chemo/radiation for her own breast tumor. Sister-in-law did not have nurses giving her alt med advice.
 
Fowlsound - wow. Great paper. I'm going to send the link on to my dad who will hopefully read it and pass it on to my mom. The language may be a bit strong for their tastes but what the hey... :) It will serve them well to hear from a survivor, and the importance of listening to the medical advice they are about to receive.

I'm sure in the weeks to come I'll hear a lot on the faith healing front - both my parents are into this $#!t - and I'm surprised that I haven't heard of how much better mom is because of prayer chains at the church etc...


Dogdoctor - well, from the research Fowlsound and others have sent me, my hunch is that we have stage IV metastized breast cancer that has involved the spine and liver. But - the negative mammogram is weird. Suspect that radiologist misinterpretation (or just being 'kind') is most likely explanation. My reading shows that primary liver or bone/spine cancers are rather rare. But - not much value in second-guessing the experts or in getting panicked until I know the facts. But it is SO frustrating this WAITING...

-AH.
 
Antiquehunter said:
Fowlsound - wow. Great paper. I'm going to send the link on to my dad who will hopefully read it and pass it on to my mom. The language may be a bit strong for their tastes but what the hey... :) It will serve them well to hear from a survivor, and the importance of listening to the medical advice they are about to receive.

I'm sure in the weeks to come I'll hear a lot on the faith healing front - both my parents are into this $#!t - and I'm surprised that I haven't heard of how much better mom is because of prayer chains at the church etc...


Dogdoctor - well, from the research Fowlsound and others have sent me, my hunch is that we have stage IV metastized breast cancer that has involved the spine and liver. But - the negative mammogram is weird. Suspect that radiologist misinterpretation (or just being 'kind') is most likely explanation. My reading shows that primary liver or bone/spine cancers are rather rare. But - not much value in second-guessing the experts or in getting panicked until I know the facts. But it is SO frustrating this WAITING...

-AH.
Click to expand...


I think they might be receptive to my paper because I dont specifically approach the faith healers, but it is implied.

You should also send the Faith healers book Randi wrote.

I won't touch the topic of their faith in God, but honestly, they need to realize prayer never healed anyone's cancer.

Good luck, and stand strong.
 
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