Chuck Norris for President... of Texas

[MattusMaximus]

Chuck Norris Wants to Run for President ... of Texas

... Chuck Norris is running for president. So soon, you say? Didn’t we just have an election? What month is it? Well, that’s just the thing, there aren’t any official dates for the election of the president of Texas.

The idea came to him when he joked he should run in a discussion about his frustrations with the national government on Fox News’ "The Glenn Beck Show" recently. The concept apparently stuck, and he then used this quip as a headline on a piece he published Monday, the day before his 69th birthday, for World Net Daily, balancing somewhere between byline and battle cry.

The piece (which also popped up on Wonkette) uses a great deal of historical examples and contains an outline of a case for why it would be ok to express disagreement with certain policies through force and violence. Quotes from Founding Fathers highlight how far he believes our current government has strayed from their true intentions. His sincere desire for advancing conservative values and not bankrupting the country are evident, though he offers a rather extreme solution. ...

Ahem... let the Chuck Norris jokes commence!

 

[Policenaut]

Royal Norris Decree No. 1) Thou shalt buy a Total Gym.

 

[MattusMaximus]

Chuck Norris didn't get Texas to secede from the United States, he scared the rest of the United States away from Texas.

 

[ImaginalDisc]

Oh, a way to get rid of two things I don't like! Awesome!

 

[dudalb]

Yeah,Sucession worked really great the last time Texas tried it.....

I would say it is safe to say that Norris has gone off the rails.

 

[BPSCG]

Yeah,Sucession worked really great the last time Texas tried it.....

I would say it is safe to say that Norris has gone off the rails.

Evidence?

Chuck Norris is an actor.

Actors love nothing more than to be talked about (viz. Joaquin Phoenix).

 

[rwguinn]

He has lost his marble.
An Okie can never be President of Texas. Ain't gonna happen.

At the Wilson Historical Museum in Wilson, Okla., where Norris went to school, a woman answering the phone laughed when I told her that he wants to be president of Texas.
"He’s gone goofy," she said sweetly, saying she wouldn’t give her name because "he’s got kinfolks here."
If Texas declared independence, she’d need a passport to cross the Red River at Gainesville.
And, of course, we’d have to build a border wall.
"I think he’s been hit in the head too many times," she said.

 

[MarkCorrigan]

Yeah,Sucession worked really great the last time Texas tried it.....

I would say it is safe to say that Norris has gone off the rails.

He was on them at some point?

 

[KoihimeNakamura]

Probably before Walker, Texas Ranger.

 

[Upchurch]

Yeah,Sucession worked really great the last time Texas tried it.....

Last time, Texas had all those other states dragging it down.

Trouble is, I don't like the idea of an odd number of states. If Norris calls before the end of this commercial, we will throw in Alaska for only $19.95 plus shipping and handling fees.

 

[Bikewer]

If Kinky Friedman can run for governor, I don't know why Norris couldn't run as a secessionist president...

 

[fuelair]

He was on them at some point?

When he told Carradine what would happen if C. continued to play Kung Fu
with CONNECTING kicks on the set of their movie against Norris's guys (doing the MA stunt work). he was on the rails

 

[fuelair]

If Kinky Friedman can run for governor, I don't know why Norris couldn't run as a secessionist president...

I might have voted for Kinky!

 

[Monketi Ghost]

When he told Carradine what would happen if C. continued to play Kung Fu
with CONNECTING kicks on the set of their movie against Norris's guys (doing the MA stunt work). he was on the rails

?????

 

[fuelair]

?????

Lone Wolf McQuade http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0085862/

Carradine made contact in early fight scenes - on purpose - with the stunt guys. Norris told him he had ok'ed the stunt guys returning the favor if it happened again. The stunt guys were some better at it than Carradine.

 

[mikeyx]

Yeah,Sucession worked really great the last time Texas tried it.....

I would say it is safe to say that Norris has gone off the rails.

Chuck Norris, Mel Gibson, notice a trend?

 

[Madalch]

I've noticed that some people have said that he simply can't be president of Texas, because he wasn't born there. Why would it be a requirement? If Texas succeeds (and I laugh at the idea that it might), it certainly wouldn't be bound to follow American laws instead of setting up its own.

 

[rwguinn]

I've noticed that some people have said that he simply can't be president of Texas, because he wasn't born there. Why would it be a requirement? If Texas succeeds (and I laugh at the idea that it might), it certainly wouldn't be bound to follow American laws instead of setting up its own.

Because he's an OKIE!
You vastly underestimate just how vile a person a native Oklahoman is...

Oh--for the humor impaired...

 

[dudalb]

If Kinky Friedman can run for governor, I don't know why Norris couldn't run as a secessionist president...

If you compare Kinky to a nutcase like Norris, I will have to come down and open up a can of Whup Butt on you.

 

[dudalb]

Chuck Norris, Mel Gibson, notice a trend?

Some of what Sean Penn says has been pretty out there also. Kooky Hollywood Celebs come in all political flavors.