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Christian Stalker

MaxHardcore

Scholar
M
Joined
Mar 11, 2006
Messages
104
Someone has been stuffing Christian tracts in my letterbox for months but yesterday I found a bag of books outside my door, these titles : Occult Bondage and Deliverance, Satan Cast Out, Deliver Us From Evil, 2 different titles called Spiritual Warfare, Victory Over Darkness and What Demons can Do To Saints.

should I be worried? I'm not sure what I've been doing, various latenight drunkeness, too much internet porn, something has made it known that I need saving.

or should I hope for the Rapture and it will all go away?
 
First;

There is ABSOLUTELY nothing bad about various latenight drunkeness and too much internet porn.

Secondly;

Use the leaflets for tissue paper so you can use some of them. It's what I do!!!
 
Got a fireplace? Or you could use the paper for mulch. Or as an emergency substitue should the roll runs out at an inopportune moment in the bathroom.

There are many Earth-friendly things that may be done with these items. Encourage your secret supplier to bring more items so that you may save money and recycle at the same time.
 
Just for fun, I looked up "What Demons can Do To Saints" on Amazon:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0802494188/sr=8-1/qid=1153985665/ref=pd_bbs_1/104-5911521-7019133?ie=UTF8

It's a book about demonology, written by a severly deranged Christian for other severely deranged Christians. I'm shocked at the reviewers on Amazon who take this sort of thing seriously. Some of the other books aren't as bizarre, but someone in your neighborhood thinks they're battling real demons. Seriously, I would give the cops a call and let them know what's going on.
 
It's never gotten that bad but when christians try to "save" me I thank them for being so concerned about me. I then inform them that if they insist on converting me, I'll be compelled to do likewise and they might end up atheist.

Last time I did that (and actually lectured back for half an hour or so), the guy turned a bit white, suddenly excused himself and disappeared. An hour and a half later I went out the door and saw him still sitting in his car reading the bible. Apparently something had registered :)
 
Graciously accept the gift of wacky books, and graciously sell them on eBay. Profit to you: 100%.

Then spend that money on sex toys.
 
MaxHardcore said:
Someone has been stuffing Christian tracts in my letterbox for months but yesterday I found a bag of books outside my door, these titles : Occult Bondage and Deliverance, Satan Cast Out, Deliver Us From Evil, 2 different titles called Spiritual Warfare, Victory Over Darkness and What Demons can Do To Saints.

should I be worried? I'm not sure what I've been doing, various latenight drunkeness, too much internet porn, something has made it known that I need saving.

or should I hope for the Rapture and it will all go away?
Click to expand...

Maybe you're just at a convenient point on the delivery round that if he drops everything on you, he can bugger off home early.
 
Don't they make tripwire-triggered firecrackers for use as a poor man's alarm system? I'm fairly sure I saw them in the Bud K catalog or something.

String those along the porch, and the unwary book-leaver may think you're shooting at him. Or perhaps that demons are. Either way, it should help curb delivery.

I think TragicMonkey has the best use for what you already have, though.
 
Wow, those Amazon reviews were fun reading:
If you are going to cast out demons you had better be filled with the Holy Spirit because as someone who has done it I can say that demons are not impressed with systematic theology, they respond to the power and the athority of the name of Jesus.
Click to expand...

Ummmm, okay.
 
Ooh, I love Christian Slater!

Oh, sorry, I mis-read.

What condition are the books in? It might just be someone dumping their unwanted crap on you, or kids messing about, but if they are decent quality books and it looks like someone spent money on them, then you should keep your eye on the situation. Personally, I would let the police know, just so it's on record. You should certainly start a diary recording the date and time of all incidents, just in case.

Hey, perhaps she/he meant the books as a loan and will turn up to reclaim them, giving you ample opportunity to do a Kathy Bates on her/him.
 
Construct an altar (complete with a big cup o' fake blood,) in your front yard using the books before you set up the camera. Then post the ensuing hilarity here. :D
 
MaxHardcore said:
Someone has been stuffing Christian tracts in my letterbox for months but yesterday I found a bag of books outside my door, these titles : Occult Bondage and Deliverance, Satan Cast Out, Deliver Us From Evil, 2 different titles called Spiritual Warfare, Victory Over Darkness and What Demons can Do To Saints.

should I be worried? I'm not sure what I've been doing, various latenight drunkeness, too much internet porn, something has made it known that I need saving.

or should I hope for the Rapture and it will all go away?
Click to expand...


If there is a Half Price Books in your area, you can get a couple extra bucks for those books ya know. =D
 
That_guy said:
Construct an altar (complete with a big cup o' fake blood,) in your front yard using the books before you set up the camera. Then post the ensuing hilarity here. :D
Click to expand...

The goat. Don't forget to add the goat to the scene. Think of the hilarity of watching your stalker respond to a goat munching on the literature. And pooping on their shoes (the goat not the stalker).
 
Pauliesonne said:
CRAZY BASTARDS!!!
Click to expand...

Agreed. Kind of sounds like some of Kathy's thinking. According to one of the reviews, the author assures us that true Christians can never be Demon Possessed, but if by chance they are, then they were never true Christians anyway. Later after much Biblical research, the author decided that maybe, just maybe, Christians are more vulnerable than he previously thought possible.

Amazing how everytime someone reads the Bible, they get a different message. No wonder there are thousands of different kinds of Christians in the World.
 
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