Merged Chick Tracts

[MattusMaximus]

I don't get it. The adulterer goes to Christian Bob and says "God has forgiven me." Christian Bob launches into a lecture claiming that God has not forgiven him. How does he know whether or not God has forgiven a person?

Because Christian Bob is a narcissistic prick?

 

[Delvo]

Jack Chick (JC!) seems to live in a world where people who have heard about Jesus before are quite rare.

 

[Aitch]

Shouldn't it be "There just ain't no privacy when we fool around"?

I'm sure I heard 'Whispering' Bob Harris play a track with that title on his C&W radio show.

 

[Wrathernaut]

Why does the angel need a camcorder? Is his angelic word not enough for God? Is it common for angels to make stuff up to get humans in trouble who didn't do anything, requiring God to need video as well?

Also, if I line my ceiling with magnets, will the tape be erased, and therefore unadmissible in GodCourt?

 

[Wildy]

This is a Chick Tract. It is made of Sermon and Fail.

Which tract is that a reference to?

 

[kedo1981]

The guy in the Chick track could have done his home invader what Ashley Smith really did with the Atlanta Shooter, smoke crystal meth with him and then give him a BJ.
Then he could go on Fox news and say it was all about the “Purpose Driven Life”.

 

[Cainkane1]

You ever wonder what happens to hot shot lawyers when they die?

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1014/1014_01.asp

Jack Chick explains it all to us.

 

[AvalonXQ]

Don't overgeneralize.

Clearly this only happens to district attorneys when they die.

 

[Marduk]

"God sent a love gift to mankind"

I thought he only did that to Mary, how many other of his bastard children are out there and isn't, not paying child support a form of theft ?
Yup, Gods going to hell by his own rules

 

[Mirrorglass]

 

[Dunstan]

Clearly flawed. Lawyers don't die; they just lose their appeal.

 

[welshdean]

With a little bit of MSPaint foo, you get this:

 

[kedo1981]

How much you want to bet that the characters in this tract look a lot like the real people who have investigated Mister Jack

 

[CynicalSkeptic]

I can't do it. I got part way through the 7th panel before I gave up. I think this is pretty true for every single Chick tract I ever read.

 

[kleinjahr]

If I remember correctly, Dante reserved an entire circle for lawyers. So, obviously Chick is going to the Bad Place for plagiarism.

 

[Cainkane1]

Man put the Ten Commandments on the bulletin board and gets beat up by the cops.

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0278/0278_01.asp

Yes you get beat up and go to jail here in the USA if you do that. NOT.

 

[Beerina]

"And it's a true story!" he lied.

 

[Ryokan]

"Poor Moses, stuck with 3 million complaining Jews for 40 years. They almost drove him nuts!"

That's funny, actually..

If some guy used 40 years to guide me from Egypt to Israel, I would complain too.

 

[Hellbound]

If some guy used 40 years to guide me from Egypt to Israel, I would complain too.

Hey now, Moses was NOT going to leave until he found that contact lens he lost. You know how hard it was to get those things?

 

[TragicMonkey]

If some guy used 40 years to guide me from Egypt to Israel, I would complain too.

The problem was that Moses was being paid by the hour, not by the distance covered.