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Merged Chick Tracts

I know for a fact that if I suddenly became God there is no way I'd put someone in a fire for all eternity. Lets take a child rapist murderer for instance. Thats as low as you can get so what would I do with a person like that? Well I'd bring his victim back alive and put the child in paradise. I'd lock him in a cell for how long? A thousand years maybe then I'd let him out into a hovel like existence with a group of people as worthless as he is. Hitler and Stalin would be in the cell for 100 years per victim.

This is a stupid fantasy of course but it does show I at least try to be nice to everyine.
 
Yes, but you're not the one Chick prays to, are you? :p

Otherwise, yes, not just you but probably most people would be offended by what God is really described as, if they (A) actually bothered reading and understanding what they profess belief in (most actually believe their own sanitized fantasy,) and (B) if mindless conformism didn't combine with cognitive dissonance so they can bounce off such nasty details and back to "but God is loving and merciful!"
 
It just looks that way because of the contrast in his character between the Old and New testaments. What actually happened was he got anger management classes just after the book of Malachi and then the birth of a son calmed him down
:D

Poor old God. He used to be so vital. Always plaguing and smiting. He's not been the same since his son died.
 
I have known for most of my life, that Christians think I am going to Hell.

I am a Jew, and my ancestors killed their God.
 
He did pretty good during the tsunami.

But was it really God? Doesn't God only do horrible things in the Bible? Remember God only does good things now. All the people that survived the tsunami were SAVED by God (isn't he merciful?). All the people that died were killed by Satan! But then again wasn't the Haiti earthquake punishment for their pact with the devil?? I'm confused :confused:.

I got it! Anything bad that happens in the life of a Christian is caused by Satan whereas everything bad that happens in the life of a non-Christian is God's punishment. It's inversely proportional. Do I win theology?
 
Dunno what's so hard to accept. The idea that you're going to hell if you're not baptized and can only be saved through Jesus is pretty much standard doctrine.

The Catholics for example still have as official doctrine that non-baptized dead infants and everyone before born before Jesus will be tortured for all eternity, just, umm, you know, not the worst kind of torture in Hell.

Um no. There is no official doctrine on that matter. There are quite a collection of semi official ones. The two most popular however are limbo (which may or may not be escapable but should contain and interesting selection of people) and/or prayerful hope that god sorts it out somehow.
 
Nitpick: there's incorrect stereotyping of schizophrenics in this thread.

(kerikiwi posted before I finished typing and first previewed this post.)

The Biblical god is a narcissistic sadistic homicidal psychopath, not a schizophrenic.

If you're trying to say he has multiple personalities then the term is "multiple personality disorder".

What's so offensive about the tract? Considering all the suffering in the world, if there is an omnipotent god, it's a capricious sadistic ***hole who may require people to accept Jesus as the Messiah, to die killing infidels, to be of one particular ethnicity, to spin prayer wheels and chant four hours everyday, to crawl up a mountain on your knees, or to do something else equally absurd in order to avoid eternal torture by flame.
 
The subplot being the brat pulling the hair of the guy sleeping in the museum and running off with it? I don't see the point of it.


Where are those 42 bears when you need 'em?!?!? :mad:
 
It just occurred to me that there is, in fact (even Biblical "fact") another way to get to Heaven besides believing in Jesus.

Be Elijah. Or Elias.

Wait. I guess that's two other ways.

Pole vaulting
thats three
:D
 
This one is not so funny as a lot of them until you reflect on the conversation between Jesus and the Rabbi.

Jesus: "Hi I'm Jesus and I'm all loving and merciful. But you didn't believe in me. Go to Hell!"
Rabbi: "Is it to late to be saved?"
Jesus: "Yeah it's too late. I sent some kid to tell you that some guy told him that I was the messiah. Also he gave you a piece of paper with some scriptures on it."
Rabbi: "But I'm one of your chosen people!"
Jesus: "I changed my mind about that."
Rabbi: "But now that you have shown yourself to me I know you are real and acknowledge you as the messiah! Do I still have to go to hell?"
Jesus: "Yep. Hell."
Rabbi: "But I thought you were LOVING and MERCIFUL?!"
Jesus: "I AM all loving and all merciful. So since you didn't think the right things before you died I am condemning you to an eternity of torture!"
Then 40 years later:

Jesus: Well done Nathan, enter into the joy of the Lord
Nathan: Thanks Lord. By the way, whatever happened to Rabbi Waxman?
Jesus: As we speak he is screaming in searing, unimaginable, unbearable agony
Nathan: Uh, right - um how long is he going to have to go through that?
Jesus: For eternity of course, why do you ask?
Nathan: But he was a good man who did good things and served God faithfully and sincerely throughout his life
Jesus: Yes, I know, your point being?
Nathan: Um, nothing Lord - it is just that it doesn't make me feel especially joyful
Jesus: Are you rejecting me?
Nathan: Suddenly I feel this joy bubbling up within me.
 
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0014/0014_01.asp

Ok I know I told you guys that I'd slow down a bit with the Jack Chick tracts but this gem of hypocracy is one I couldn't resist. On one hand ol jackie says to love the jews in another tract and even says a country is cursed if they harm the Jewish people then on the other hand they go to Hell for all eternity for not accepting jesus as their messiah. This is so ridiculous.

Moderate Christian thpughts on thios subject say that jews have a special covenant with God and its not necessary for them to accept Jesus but Jack chick disagrees.

This makes me proud of my atheism big time.
In a sense Chick is more honest than some Christians.

In C.S Lewis's chapter on Hell in Problem of Pain he talks of the person going to Hell as a really bad man who is getting on at the expense of everybody else. He says, in effect, "you wouldn't want someone like that to get rewarded, would you?".

He does not allow himself to consider the case of someone like Rabbi Waxman, who was good and even believed he was faithfully serving God.

At least Jack Chick puts the Hell proposition in stark terms and acknowledges the logical consequences.
 
Of course Jack Chick is still hiding behind the same silly rationalisation that most Christians seem to make - he naturally assumes that the Rabbi knows that Jesus is the Messiah but refuses to admit it.
 
Um no. There is no official doctrine on that matter. There are quite a collection of semi official ones. The two most popular however are limbo (which may or may not be escapable but should contain and interesting selection of people) and/or prayerful hope that god sorts it out somehow.

Actually, you do realize that Limbo is the outer circle of Hell, right? It's not Purgatory or anything. And at least for Catholics the dogma has always been that unbaptized babies will undergo _some_ form of punishment for that, just, you know, not the worst.

For a more in detail description of it and the theological history of it, try the catholic encyclopaedia: http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/09256a.htm

You'll notice that for most of history, starting with St Augustine, essentially the dogma was that they'll fry. And at least one pope actually publicly denounced the heresy that fire wouldn't be involved for babies. (Though he did not invoke infallibility on that one apparently.) But even that heresy still involved _some_ punishment, just, you know, they didn't want babies to fry.

And while in the meantime milder interpretations have become more popular, technically nobody rejected the old ones either. Essentially the church fell back to "ugh, we don't really know, after all."

Finally, you'll notice that Limbo is _permanent_ for unbaptized people. There's no prayer that will get those babies outta there.

But really, either way, we're talking a god who'd look at that poor, severely premature born girl -- if she had died in the process -- and essentially decide that she's damned (to a debatable extent) by original sin and lack of baptism. And totally not worthy of heaven.
 
It just looks that way because of the contrast in his character between the Old and New testaments. What actually happened was he got anger management classes just after the book of Malachi and then the birth of a son calmed him down
:D

So who gave Him these anger management classes? :D
 

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