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Merged Chick Tracts

Madalch said:
The subplot being the brat pulling the hair of the guy sleeping in the museum and running off with it? I don't see the point of it.
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Seems pointless indeed. And later on, there's a man who crosses the line and studies the paintings in close-up, even with a magnifying glass. Seems quite pointless too.

The paintings, though, as far as they're detailed enough, do contribute to the plot: they all depict "idol worship". First a fat Buddha. A couple of lines down, something that should be a menorah (but the artist apparently flunked counting in first grade), with what looks like an eastern-orthodox priest hanging next to it. And the next line has a painting of a mosque in the left panel, and an RCC bishop or cardinal in the right panel.
 
aggle-rithm said:
GRANDPA: Have you told them about Jesus?
SUSY: Yes. They said it was a load of crap.
GRANDPA: Well, I'm out of ideas.
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Except nobody in Chick tracks ever argues back. They accept Lil Susy's word at face value, because everybody knows a six year old is the best qualified to explain the nature of life, the universe, and everything with her hearsay evidence told to her by her insane cyclops grandpa.
 
I had so much hope when I started reading that.

The curator, basically saying, "What makes you think you've got it right!?" had me all giddy inside.

But...alas...
:(
 
"Religion show no mercy . Traditions and laws put chain to the followers."

OHHH the IRONY is burning....

hey.. at least I found I sentence I can fully agree in Chick's tracks
 
TragicMonkey said:
Except nobody in Chick tracks ever argues back. They accept Lil Susy's word at face value, because everybody knows a six year old is the best qualified to explain the nature of life, the universe, and everything with her hearsay evidence told to her by her insane cyclops grandpa.
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I got the impression that everyone believes the last thing they're told.
 
Cainkane1 said:
I believe this is a subtle attack on catholisism. The idols with the baby reborn Nimrod. The idol actually looks similar to Mary with baby Jesus.
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Subtle? The man dismisses her rosary as junk and equates it to the worship of idols.
 
Rabbi Waxman

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0014/0014_01.asp

Ok I know I told you guys that I'd slow down a bit with the Jack Chick tracts but this gem of hypocracy is one I couldn't resist. On one hand ol jackie says to love the jews in another tract and even says a country is cursed if they harm the Jewish people then on the other hand they go to Hell for all eternity for not accepting jesus as their messiah. This is so ridiculous.

Moderate Christian thpughts on thios subject say that jews have a special covenant with God and its not necessary for them to accept Jesus but Jack chick disagrees.

This makes me proud of my atheism big time.
 
This one is not so funny as a lot of them until you reflect on the conversation between Jesus and the Rabbi.

Jesus: "Hi I'm Jesus and I'm all loving and merciful. But you didn't believe in me. Go to Hell!"
Rabbi: "Is it to late to be saved?"
Jesus: "Yeah it's too late. I sent some kid to tell you that some guy told him that I was the messiah. Also he gave you a piece of paper with some scriptures on it."
Rabbi: "But I'm one of your chosen people!"
Jesus: "I changed my mind about that."
Rabbi: "But now that you have shown yourself to me I know you are real and acknowledge you as the messiah! Do I still have to go to hell?"
Jesus: "Yep. Hell."
Rabbi: "But I thought you were LOVING and MERCIFUL?!"
Jesus: "I AM all loving and all merciful. So since you didn't think the right things before you died I am condemning you to an eternity of torture!"

Love the tracts. Keep 'em coming
 
You would think that if the Christian god were going to get into a snit about people not choosing the correct religion, he'd at least give half credit to the Jews. They could go to Hell Lite, or be in regular Hell but issued with fireproof gear or something.
 
Dunno what's so hard to accept. The idea that you're going to hell if you're not baptized and can only be saved through Jesus is pretty much standard doctrine.

The Catholics for example still have as official doctrine that non-baptized dead infants and everyone before born before Jesus will be tortured for all eternity, just, umm, you know, not the worst kind of torture in Hell. So forget some Rabbi, but even biblical figures like Abel (who the Lord was most pleased with), Noah, Abraham, Moses, Samson, etc, well, the Lord may have said he loved them and they may have done the Lord's work and all, but the Lord was also planning to fry them for being born before Jesus. 'Cause, you know, that's the kind of dick the Lord is.

And while the Catholics in the meantime weaseled in some possibility of being saved by Jesus without actually being baptized or believing in God -- but apparently still not for babies or ancients -- Protestants still don't have such a doctrine.

So, really, if Chick is a Christian at all, is it so damnable that he actually believes what his religion says?
 
Yes, God is that big a dick in most Christian doctrines. And not as much schizophrenic, as, well, let's just say he's all love and good only because he'll torture you for eternity if you say otherwise. And might give you the occasional kick in the pants even if you don't. (See, Job.)

But the only point I'm making is that that's not Chick being a schizophrenic dick there (well, ok, he still is, but not because of this), it's Chick's God being a schizophrenic dick.

And in this case Chick's interpretation is actually pretty canon. Yes, God technically only promised the Jews that they can stay in Israel, and might or might not even gets some help from him with that. If they behave and brown-nose copiously and accept that some random kicks in the pants are part of the deal. But he never promised them a nice afterlife, nor for that matter ever even mentioned any kind of afterlife.

The idea that he'll love them and help them stay in Israel in this world, but, you know, put them through the most horrible tortures for all eternity otherwise, is really not just not against a literal reading of the OT and NT, it's even quite supportable based on them.

And really, why is it so hard to accept anyway? Again, we're talking the kind of God who'll torture a _baby_ for all eternity for having died before baptism. If this poor little girl hadn't been saved by a quick thinking doctor improvising something to keep her warm, she'd now be enjoying an eternity of pain before even knowing any other kind of life. (ETA: or rather, that's what religion tells me. Me, I still don't believe in God, heaven or hell.)

Why is it so hard to accept that the same kind of deranged God who'd do _that_ atrocity, would also fry a Rabbi for lulz?
 
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HansMustermann said:
But the only point I'm making is that that's not Chick being a schizophrenic dick there (well, ok, he still is, but not because of this), it's Chick's God being a schizophrenic dick.
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It just looks that way because of the contrast in his character between the Old and New testaments. What actually happened was he got anger management classes just after the book of Malachi and then the birth of a son calmed him down
:D
 
Actually, I think that the NT God is still a complete dick. People just like to imagine that he isn't. It's the NT God that'll fry a baby for daring to die before baptism, for example, not the OT one.
 
Jews will go to Hell for not accepting Jesus.

Hindus will go to Hell for not accepting Jesus.

Same for Buddhists, Taoists, Shintos, Agnostics, Atheists, Ba'hai.

is this something new?
 
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