Cause and source of sexual fetishes?

[Arcade22]

How do people acquire sexual fetishes? I get intense sexual pleasure from the thought of being submissive, restrained, dominated, raped, abused and used by men. I'm sane enough to realize that it wouldn't be good if i actually was raped and abused, especially by someone close like my father and the thought of that isn't attractive at all, since i don't really have any control and i could just be killed afterwards and the rapist could be someone who i find to be repulsive. I don't really remember when i got most of these fantasies but they came pretty natural to me when i came in terms with my homosexual feelings.

The only fetish that i remember from when i was younger is bondage. When is was around twelve years old, possibly younger, i used to go the local bathhouse all the time. It had this huge pool and there were usually these small plastic rings there. I don't know why but somehow i got the idea of putting these rings around my legs, feet and arms so i couldn't move. I tried to get as many rings on me as i could to maximize the feeling of being restrained. I stopped doing that when i grew to big to fit them on both my legs. I didn't really think much about it back then, it just came naturally to me.

So how come I am attracted to these kinds of things? I have not been abused, raped or had anything similar happen to when i was a kid. I don't feel bad because of these feelings nor does it hamper my quality of life in anyway, other than getting one or two erections in a less than good time, and i feel really left out and jealous when i see people being attracted to things like feet and legs.

Are there any interesting and relevant scientific studies, texts, articles and etc about the cause of these things and how many people "suffer" from these feelings? It would be interesting to know how you could acquire these kind of things.

 

[I Ratant]

A vivid imagination leads to those thoughts.
Having stumbled on an S&M magazine out in the wilds once, the reality of the fetishes in there would have to be disgusting to all participants.

 

[Mark6]

Having stumbled on an S&M magazine out in the wilds once, the reality of the fetishes in there would have to be disgusting to all participants.

I read this sentence several times, and still do not understand what you are trying to say.

Do you mean "performing acts for real, on an unwilling victim"?

 

[Bikewer]

I read the late John Money's books ( a couple of 'em) on paraphilia, which is the clinical term for such things.
Fascinating but not much in the way of concrete answers. (yes, I'm a bit kinky myself..)

As far as I know, he is still considered pretty much the authority on the subject; at least I see many references to his work.
Money had the notion of a "lovemap". This is a psychological construct of an ideal mating partner that essentially everyone forms early in life. (by age three) This is built from parents, siblings, caregivers, etc. in the normal fashion. It's long been noted that "boys tend to marry their mothers" and that girls likewise tend to be attracted to men who resemble their fathers... That's entirely understandable if Money's idea is correct.

However, Money says that these lovemaps can be altered or "vandalized" in a variety of ways, and that a wide variety of alternatives can be sexualized.
There are 40+ categorized paraphilias, ranging from well-known ones like exhibitionism and voyeurism to very odd ones indeed. Bondage, BDSM activities in general... These can all be included.
Note that these do not rise to "clinical" levels unless the individual is essentially incapable of sexual performance without these things.
Huge numbers of people have quite normal sex lives while finding a bit of this and a bit of that to be powerful turn-ons.
Leading us to speculate that the sorts of things that become sexualized in paraphilias are in fact deeply-rooted "archetypes" that a large number of people find to be erotically stimulating.
Sadly, one of the things that is most responsible for the formation of these paraphilias seems to be child abuse, especially at a very young age when this love-map is being formed.
It's a fascinating subject, and one that deserves more research. Money complained bitterly as to how difficult it was to get research money for anything to do with sex...
In my case, I experienced a fascination with my....Areas of interest very early on, well before any understanding that it would have anything to do with sex. Age 6-7 or so.

 

[Mark6]

In my case, I experienced a fascination with my....Areas of interest very early on, well before any understanding that it would have anything to do with sex. Age 6-7 or so.

12. That I can remember, anyway.

 

[23_Tauri]

Where's Marduk?

 

[Squeegee Beckenheim]

I'll never know if seeing Ornella Muti tied up after having just been whipped in Flash Gordon when I was 6 caused me to be kinky, or if it left an indelible impression on my mind because I was already kinky. All I know is that I'm bloody glad either way.

 

[I Ratant]

I read this sentence several times, and still do not understand what you are trying to say.

Do you mean "performing acts for real, on an unwilling victim"?

.
The persons imaged in the magazine were doing strange things to each other.
I would expect these people would be willing, paid actors or just bizarre thinking people, who really do these things for some self-loathing problem.
The real crazies seem to do worse to their victims from what we hear.
I doubt there would be a publication devoted to terminal fetish.

 

[I Ratant]

12. That I can remember, anyway.

.
I've always wondered about my early life, about 5 or 6, that might have had an effect on my maturity.

 

[I Ratant]

I'll never know if seeing Ornella Muti tied up after having just been whipped in Flash Gordon when I was 6 caused me to be kinky, or if it left an indelible impression on my mind because I was already kinky. All I know is that I'm bloody glad either way.

.
Major babe, she.
I disremember which movie it was that I noticed her.
Anyway, the skin-tight black-clad beauties in "Blackhawk!" were always interesting.

 

[Giggywig]

.
The persons imaged in the magazine were doing strange things to each other.
I would expect these people would be willing, paid actors or just bizarre thinking people, who really do these things for some self-loathing problem.

Judgmental much?

 

[Dancing David]

Mostly conditioning, OCD is some.

 

[I Ratant]

Judgmental much?

.
Who isn't?
I'd rather eat dirt than ride in a Ford!

 

[MG1962]

.
The persons imaged in the magazine were doing strange things to each other.
I would expect these people would be willing, paid actors or just bizarre thinking people, who really do these things for some self-loathing problem.
The real crazies seem to do worse to their victims from what we hear.
I doubt there would be a publication devoted to terminal fetish.

And this just reinforces you actually have no idea what you are talking about but could not pass up the oppotunity to attack other peoples lifestyles and interests

 

[Mark6]

.
The persons imaged in the magazine were doing strange things to each other.

Well, duh! If they were not strange, they would not be a fetish.

I would expect these people would be willing, paid actors or just bizarre thinking people, who really do these things for some self-loathing problem.

If they were in a magazine, quite possibly they were paid actors who did not actually enjoy what they were doing. But it would be very hard to find an S&M fetish somebody doesn't enjoy.

As for "self-loathing problem"... In a dom/sub relationship who do you think has the final say what goes and when? (Hint: What would happen to a dom who does not stop when the sub gives "safe word"?)

 

[I Ratant]

And this just reinforces you actually have no idea what you are talking about but could not pass up the oppotunity to attack other peoples lifestyles and interests

.
I can do that.
Ya mean there ARE magazines devoted to terminal fetish?
Inform the authorities.

 

[Third Eye Open]

I wonder about this too, but not too hard. If you can imagine it, someone somewhere in the world is turned on by it. Being tied, or tying someone up is a very common one, so I don't feel strange about it and neither should you.

 

[I Ratant]

Some of the sites I pass by when cruising for porn show more than "tying up"!
That's just a part of the conditions they show.
I gotta wonder.
I can still do that.

 

[Vortigern99]

Fetishes arise chiefly from the tension between natural, inborn mammalian inclinations and human societal taboos.

 

[Crazycowbob]

.
The persons imaged in the magazine were doing strange things to each other.
I would expect these people would be willing, paid actors or just bizarre thinking people, who really do these things for some self-loathing problem.
The real crazies seem to do worse to their victims from what we hear.
I doubt there would be a publication devoted to terminal fetish.

Are you sure you have the real internet, and not a very stripped down disney version? There are people who do, and enjoy having done to them, actions that most "civilized" society would find completely revolting. Which is really no surprise, most civilized society seems to think plain old sex in itself is borderline revolting. I think you'd be surprised at the types of fetishes out there, and the ways people enjoy them. Mine is certainly an extremely odd one, but even so, I've found an enormous number of people who share it. If you don't have some sort of kink or fetish, I'd wager you're actually the one in the minority...

As for what causes us to have fetishes, I'd wager it's much like sexual orientation. Probably a mix of genetic predisposition, early childhood developement, and probably life experience during puberty. I won't go into the details of my own kinks, but I can say they were fairly well established before I really became sexually active.