Can skeptics ever play nice with believers?

Clancie said:
Unfortunately, however, debate is often dominated by the aggressive, rude few. . To some people here, the "mission" often seems to attack "believers" personally, not just for their ideas...to get satisfaction from calling a believer a "liar"...." hypocrite"...a "woo-woo"...a "moron"..."retarded".... ("Ad hominem", anyone? It is all too familiar).

Partial strawman. People are not called "liars" or "hypocrites" because they are believers. They are called liars when they lie, and hypocrites when they don't practice what they preach.

Who are these people, Clancie? It is very hard to address your accusations, if we don't know the details.

Clancie said:
What disappoints me most is not that a few people do this. Its that there is so little opposition expressed by the majority to this bullying and ridicule as a debate tactic. It does get wearying being on the receiving end, (and putting someone on "Ignore" does nothing to stop them from baiting you, and posting negatively to and about you on a daily basis.)

Ah, that must be me, because I am the only one you have on "ignore".

I am still wondering how you would know what I post, if you have me on ignore. You even insist that I post, so you can read it....

Clancie said:
I've considered stopping posting here several times myself, but don't want the handful of people who routinely do this to feel that intimidation and badgering has actually been effective in getting rid of people.

Oh, nobody wants to get rid of you, Clancie. It is very educational to observe how a believer argues. Perhaps you should stop playing the persecuted victim and actually start addressing some of the many points, not just by me, but also from an increasing number of other posters?

Clancie said:
What surprises me most isn't the handful of blatantly rude people who prefer to attack individuals rather than ideas. What is most disappointing is how few -other skeptics- speak out against it...in fact, I can only think of three or four who do speak out critically about these tactics...out of -all- the people who post here.

Appeal to emotion. Perhaps your point would be considered more favorably, if you yourself would start addressing some points?

Clancie said:
To me, that means everyone else basically tacitly consents to the rudeness and bullying...that even people who don't argue that way themselves are saying "it's okay" by not criticizing it when they see it.

Do you realize how mean and sneaky you come across here? Face your critics openly, don't play the victim, don't angle for pity. Name your critics, state why they are wrong, show examples, argue your case openly.
 
Clancie said:
...snip...

What disappoints me most is not that a few people do this. Its that there is so little opposition expressed by the majority to this bullying and ridicule as a debate tactic. It does get wearying being on the receiving end, (and putting someone on "Ignore" does nothing to stop them from baiting you, and posting negatively to and about you on a daily basis.)

...snip...

What surprises me most isn't the handful of blatantly rude people who prefer to attack individuals rather than ideas. What is most disappointing is how few -other skeptics- speak out against it...in fact, I can only think of three or four who do speak out critically about these tactics...out of -all- the people who post here.

To me, that means everyone else basically tacitly consents to the rudeness and bullying...that even people who don't argue that way themselves are saying "it's okay" by not criticizing it when they see it.

I feel I must defend myself here.

My posting or not about any subject means nothing, you can't infer that I agree or disagree with anything either in substance or fact or style just by my lack of posting. Half the time I come into one of these "personal attacks" after it is over or beyond any hope of reconciliation.

I have no obligation to anyone here to rush into public defence or declare my support - no matter what "side" anyone should be on - no matter what is being posted.

Posting here is voluntary by everyone, whilst I feel it would be a shame for the boards to lose their diversity I refuse to accept responsibility for another adult's actions.

There are many posters on this forum that I now totally refuse to engage with no matter what the provocation. There are posters who have obviously tried to provoke me to respond with a "tit-for-tat" personal attack, I however have the ability just as every adult does to choose not to respond in kind.

I have been called a hypocrite, a liar, stupid, ignorant, unethical, immoral, evil, accused of misrepresenting people and of being untruthful by posters on this site, some who still post here - yet I don't expect others to defend or support me (but yes it is nice when you know others have supported you).

I certainly do not believe that everyone else accepted what these posters said about me just because they didn't support me or that they agreed with the style of personal attacks that these posters made.

All in all let us take responsibility for our own actions. Let’s accept our own misjudgements and apologise as appropiate, accept that sometimes we may annoy someone without intent, that others will misunderstand what we post and concentrate on our debates not our hurt feelings.
 
Weighing in as a relative newbie...

There have been many points on both sides.
Although I am currently re-evaluating, I am a believer.
My initial posts here, for the most part, were met well and treated well.

I enjoyed Joshua's post in this thread. I wish more posters took the same approach. There have been times that I've been blasted with the "that old rag" response to an idea/thought/argument I've posted.
Guess what folks?
1.) It's always been brand new to me.
2.) Sometimes I fail to do the recommended 3 hours of internet research (gasp) before hitting the Reply button. I post what seems to make sense to me after reading the thread.

I found Sacketts response a howl.
People who don't agree with us are always exasperatingly dumb...
I believe this is exactly the type of response this thread was started to address.
As a deist, I may be mistaken. I may be willfuly suspending my critical thinking about the subject.

Does this make me exasperatingly dumb? Gosh, I hope not!

I disagree with CLaus. I believe that while we are all human, emotion can and should be controlled. I don't think harsh language on both sides is unavaoidable. Anger and harsh language are concious choices we make when we hit the Post Reply button.
I think some people don't feel they need to bother with civility. I think some, like Claus, use history to justify their anger.
Valid or not, many posters were not here for that history and may not deserve that anger.

I don't think it was Yahweh's intention to say "Leave the poor believers alone!".
Claus is right in that this IS rather a "showdown" type board where you had better be ready to back yourself up.

However, it seems too many threads start out fine, only to become a continuation of the Claus/Clancie show, or other posters with histories sniping at each other.
Either that, or posters are shut down with rude exasperation from some posters not bothering to be civil.

$.02

Whomp!
 
Whomp said:
Weighing in as a relative newbie...

Being a newbie carries no weight here! Stop it! No appeals to authority here!

Ehhh....sorry. Carry on. :)

Whomp said:
I disagree with CLaus. I believe that while we are all human, emotion can and should be controlled. I don't think harsh language on both sides is unavaoidable. Anger and harsh language are concious choices we make when we hit the Post Reply button. I think some people don't feel they need to bother with civility. I think some, like Claus, use history to justify their anger. Valid or not, many posters were not here for that history and may not deserve that anger.

Emotions are a vital part of us. It's probably one of the most "human" traits.

I, for one, strive to focus on evidence, but I ain't made of wood, either. In a debate, things can - and sometimes should - get "animated". It is a fundamentally good thing if people are passionate about what they think and believe. We could have cold, detached debates, but that would be boring as well.

That said, we still need to focus on evidence here. That is pivotal to what we all (should) seek: The truth.

Whomp said:
I don't think it was Yahweh's intention to say "Leave the poor believers alone!". Claus is right in that this IS rather a "showdown" type board where you had better be ready to back yourself up.

You know, you could have stopped after "Claus is right".... :D

Whomp said:
However, it seems too many threads start out fine, only to become a continuation of the Claus/Clancie show, or other posters with histories sniping at each other. Either that, or posters are shut down with rude exasperation from some posters not bothering to be civil.

We should always strive for evidence, and evidence only. But we are also humans, and should act as such. But at the end of the day, what it comes down to is evidence.


Whomp said:

13 øre. Og så var der ikke engang rø'beder til! :)
 
CFLarsen said:


You know, you could have stopped after "Claus is right".... :D
Oh, I was soooo tempted!
My keyboard tends to blather, then sign my name at the bottom.

Upon reflection, debates WOULD be boring without some emotion behind them. Keeping the emotion focused on your topic rather than your opponent seems to be the difficult part.

Whomp!
 
I agree with Darat on all points. People are people. I find same tactics from all sides. And I would remind people that interactions here go back over several boards. Having been to some of these boards, I noticed that situations can be rather reversed- where believers are in charge, if you think skeptics were treated well by some of the same believers who post here complaining about JREF...well, forget it. Do I even need to mention the great Steve Grenard purge? Or the Friends of John Edward heavy hand moderation? On TvTalkshows, I have seen some venom against people who didn't even post there. And I have not seen people defending skeptics there, but perhaps I merely missed that part.

Am I saying they did it to skeptics- let's do it to them- of course not. I am just saying it is the nature of the beast. People hold on to their beliefs. There will be rancor, just like there is rancor between Democrats/Republicans, Pro Israel side/Pro-Palestinian side. Kids playing nice is for the sand box. This is a messageboard, on JREF, where debate is welcomed and claims will be challenged.

I used to defend believers in general and individually against big bad skeptics. I believed then, like I believe now that some tactics are counterproductive. I stopped my interference when I saw some of the people I was defending were merrily engaging in the very same behaviour elsewhere. At that point, too late I decided it is not my job to protect anyone. People are adults. Ignore lists are here for a reason. If people choose to engage abusive people on a message board, I cannot stop them.

However, the bigger issue is what and who is ignored. I feel sometimes the issues and questions that are ignored are not merely the Clausian ones. Yes, Claus can behave like an a$$. But many of his questions are legitimate. It is likely in all the questions he has, there are some the rest of us have also! For example, the lamp thread http://host.randi.org/vbulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=30007 Clancie made a claim about spirits communicating via electricity. About 4 skeptics responded to it (including Claus)....the thread sinks into oblivion. Well, I think it is an interesting claim with enormous implications, but as a nice person, I let it go. However, had this been something that happened repeatedly, I would have felt the urge to start a list myself :)

For me, the most difficult thing in arguing with believers is simply understanding what exactly is being claimed. X is talking to the dead- How? Simple words. Clear language. Spirits can communicate with electricity- How? Again, simplicity. Someone had a Near Death Experience- Evidence- Simplicity. Sometimes it feels like so much smoke and uncertainty and unnecessary complication.

But we sometimes forget this is not an merely intellectual exercise. People are bilked of a lot of money by psychic frauds. Parents of missing children are tortured by these ghouls. Remember that Elizabeth Smart's family was contacted by 600 (six hundred) psychics. Some of them told them she was dead, and they checked out every lead, because they could not think that perhaps one they would not check would be the real one. http://kutv.com/related/local_story_318170333.html

There actually are deaths due to paranormal beliefs. People who believed in quack healers and did not seek regular treatment, for example. Sylvia Browne gives medical advice on Montel...what happens if someone follows it? She also claims to have assisted locating missing children....but there is never any proof. And now she and JE will do a seminar together. Cut from the same rotten cloth.

So here is what I think- make a claim- be challenged. If you get offended by jerks, don't take the bait. Ignore feature is terrific. But don't excuse not answering legitimate questions by saying a bad guy asked them. And, don't take potshots if you claim the high ground. It makes it more difficult to sympathize. :)
 
renata said:
Kids playing nice is for the sand box. This is a messageboard, on JREF, where debate is welcomed and claims will be challenged.
I have to disagree. Playing nice is not for the sandbox. Screaming, name calling, pushing, and rubbing sand in people's hair is for the sandbox and it should stay there. This is a messageboard, where debate is welcomed and claims should be challenged.

I see no reason that should not be done in as civil a manner as possible.

Whomp!
 
Whomp said:
I have to disagree. Playing nice is not for the sandbox. Screaming, name calling, pushing, and rubbing sand in people's hair is for the sandbox and it should stay there. This is a messageboard, where debate is welcomed and claims should be challenged.

I see no reason that should not be done in as civil a manner as possible.

Whomp!

LOL!! Ok, I am outed as not a parent :D

Fair enough. I guess I was referring to the original poster's comment "Play nice, kids". One, we are not kids, we are (I hope) intelligent, curious adults. Two, we are not playing, but are debating interesting topics :). But I can see how my analogy could be turned the other way! Good point, Whomp.

I agree it should be civil, and I am pretty sure my post delivered that message. If it had not, let me reiterate that. However, unlike the sandbox, by a click of the mouse, the offending party can disappear. I do not understand why if the majority of people are good, the offenders are continued to be engaged. I have also seen the people who say they are victimized engage in similar tactics, or take the bait, or continue to take potshots at people who they say are mean to them. This I just don't understand. Civility really is the best way to do it. By responding to people who behave in a rude manner, that rudeness is encouraged.

By the way, my observations are simply that- general musings. Take them for what they are worth :)
 
Clancie said:
Unfortunately, however, debate is often dominated by the aggressive, rude few. . To some people here, the "mission" often seems to attack "believers" personally, not just for their ideas...to get satisfaction from calling a believer a "liar"....
When an individual is observed to have posted a blatant lie, by what alternative term would you refer to that person?
 
Posted by renata

Clancie made a claim about spirits communicating via electricity.
renata,

The "claim", if you recall, was that that people often say that spirit communication manifests through the use of electricity. I made no "claim" that it was actually true, only that it is not uncommonly expressed.

So...I assume that you are asking for a source that backs up my "claim" that people do say this? Fine, take a look at Judy Guggenheim's book, "Hello From Heaven". It's a compilation of many, many accounts and interviews with people who feel they have received spirit communication. A whole section is devoted to "communication via electricity."


And, re the "Ignore" feature....When someone posts to and about you each and every day, all "Ignore" does is reduce your aggravation from reading it. It doesn't change anything...or eliminate the problems with what they post....
 
Clancie said:
renata,

The "claim", if you recall, was that that people often say that spirit communication manifests through the use of electricity. I made no "claim" that it was actually true, only that it is not uncommonly expressed.

So...I assume that you are asking for a source that backs up my "claim" that people do say this? Fine, take a look at Judy Guggenheim's book, "Hello From Heaven". It's a compilation of many, many accounts and interviews with people who feel they have received spirit communication. A whole section is devoted to "communication via electricity."

LOL! Of my lengthy post, the one thing to focus on...

Thanks for the source, Clancie. I bumped that thread for you, some people had some questions. Perhaps you can just repost your clarification there, so we do not hijack this thread. Because then people would have to ask why you would bring it up, whether you yourself believed it, things like that :)

And, re the "Ignore" feature....When someone posts to and about you each and every day, all "Ignore" does is reduce your aggravation from reading it. It doesn't change anything...or eliminate the problems with what they post....

No? I thought it eliminated the posts? :)
I thought there were 3-4 skeptics here that caused you problems with their style- Claus, BillHoyt, TBK, some others here or there. Well, I just did a random search on these guys, by name in your posts for the last month. You have about 170 posts from last month, and mention Bill Hoyt about 18 times , Claus about 15 times, and tbk about 15 times in that amount of time. Now it is possible you refer to them more mentioning their name sometimes and those I did not count, or perhaps you are just quoting someone else mentioning them, so those instances superflous. So this is very very approximate, and I will grant you off the bat entirely unscientific and perhaps unfair. However, assuming the numbers may reflect the rough times you mention them, it would mean you mention them or their points in almost a third of your posts. Why, if they (or other skeptics) are patronizing, arrogant, condescending, insulting, unquestioning?

Why not just ignore the handful (or two) that is nasty know-it-alls, the ones that are not knowledgeable, the ones that want to run the believers off the boards.

Every time you address Claus' point (momentarily off ignore yet again) or Bill Hoyt, or TBK, or anyone else who you claim are ill informed or ill mannered it undermines your own stance when you say you are displeased when you do not get the quality of discussion you wish here. Yes, those guys, and some others are extremely aggressive. But Darat is not. NoZed is not. Stumpy is not. Glee is not. Ipecac is not. Pyrrho is not. Joshua Korosi is not. Voidx is not. Athon is not. Hgc is not. Many others good skeptics are not. Talk to them. Ignore the ones that you find offensive. You have the power to respond to them- or not to respond.

That just puzzles me....
 
Posted by renata

Well, I just did a random search on these guys, by name in your posts for the last month. You have about 170 posts from last month, and mention Bill Hoyt about 18 times , Claus about 15 times, and tbk about 15 times in that amount of time.
And what did your research show, renata, about how many times Claus posted to and/or about me during that same time period?

After all, you want data that shows a meaningful pattern...it is only fair to make a comparison, not just show mine alone.

As for Bill Hoyt and TBK...they aren't on ignore. So, yes, I do feel obligated to respond to their personal attacks and nasty posts to me (and, sometimes, I respond to what they say to other "believers" as well). I don't think people should be allowed to unfairly and personally attack someone as I feel they do and just "get a pass" for it. Nor am I comfortable when (a few) other people get involved on my behalf and then I stay silent.

What pattern do you think a tally for each of their posts to or about me would show, in the comparable time period in which you have mentioned tallying mine to them? Certainly, since you've totalled mine, it would be of interest to then add TBK's, Bill's and Claus's total posts to and/or about me all together, and see if those numbers provide an important piece of data related to the point you are making.....
 
CFLarsen said:
Well, apart from the false premise of this thread (skeptics are not playing nice with believers, apparently it's not the other way around)
[snip]
And yes, dishonesty is revealed here. So are logical fallacies, flawed arguments, hypocrisy and whathaveyou. Because that is what we often find, when we scratch the surface.
[snip]
We have to face the fact: Dishonesty, lies and deceit is an integral part of some of the believers. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that each and every believer is a lying scumbag. Far from it: Most I find to be nice, honest people, who just happen to believe false things.

You know, CF, I find that the skeptics are capable of some pretty gross distortions too.

We try to find natural explanations for paranormal claims. We are nice to believers - incredibly nice: We welcome them here, let them speak freely, they can argue their case, show their evidence. That is much more than I have ever seen any believer allow skeptics. But they also have to expect that their claims are investigated. They are on a skeptics' board, what do they expect?

I am a skeptic myself, albeit a moderate one. I find myself in the position of an agnostic among hardcore athiests. And I find Randi fans to be an extremely intolerant bunch. I comment on things that Randi has said which are somewhat less than accurate - while making it clear that I dont believe the paranormal claims either - and in return I get streams of insults and hatred. Not only are some of the residents NOT "incredibly nice" to believers, many are very hostile to skeptics less extreme than themselves.
 
Clancie said:

And what did your research show, renata, about how many times Claus posted to and/or about me during that same time period?

After all, you want data that shows a meaningful pattern...it is only fair to make a comparison, not just show mine alone.

Aren't you curious what Claus's total number of posts in that time period are and how many of them are to and/or about me ? That seems only fair to include, after all, given the point you are making.

As for Bill Hoyt and TBK...they aren't on ignore. So, yes, I do feel obligated to respond to their personal attacks and nasty posts to me (and, sometimes, I respond to what they say to other "believers" as well). I don't think people should be allowed to unfairly and personally attack someone as I feel they do and just "get a pass" for it. Nor am I comfortable when (a few) other people get involved on my behalf and then I stay silent.

What pattern do you think a tally for each of their posts to or about me would show, in the comparable time period in which you have mentioned tallying mine to them? Certainly, since you've totalled mine, it would be of interest to then add TBK's, Bill's and Claus's total posts to and/or about me all together, and see if those numbers provide an important piece of data related to the point you are making.....

But those people are not complaining about how unfair they are being treated here, about how people are trying to run them off them off the board, how rude others are.

With all respect, I think if you are trying to compare the precentages, you can, but that is not indeed the point I am making :). Had Claus, Bill Hoyt or TBK complained about you, yet repeatedly addressed you, rest assured I would be just as puzzled. But they do not claim to ignore you, or complain about tactics or manners, or domination of debate by aggressive few, all the while spending a third of their posts arguing with them :) Had they done that, I would have addressed them as well.

I feel this is a conversation. All that needs to be done, is for you not to respond to the people you do not want to respond do, and respond to the majority that you think can address your points- I provided a partial list. Soon enough others will be relegated outside, if indeed all they are are rude shouters, with nothing to contribute. But if you choose to respond a third of your time to the aggressive and rude lot, and they are predictably rude, well, there is nothing anyone can do for you. You are an adult, pick your conversation partners accordingly- there are plenty of kinder, gentler skeptics here :)

So I am afraid you missed the point I was making, (and I hope this post clarified it) but you can certainly supplement my research with your own :) Perhaps there is an additional, important point of your own you can present.
 
renata said:
I agree with Darat on all points. People are people.

And there you are. As always, "people are a problem."

I have tried to pick my fights so that conversations can happen with people who are actually interested in doing so.

Some are not.

I usually just stay out of those threads, but occasionally those people need to be answered, and answered in a stong fashion. The Stalin apologist that blew through a few months ago was one such person, for example.


In the mirrors of the many judgments, my hands are the color of blood. I am a part of the evil that exists in the world... I sometime fancy myself an evil which exists to oppose other evils...

And on that Great Day of which prophets speak, but in which they do not truly believe, on that day when the world is cleansed of evil, then I, too, will go down into darkness, swallowing curses. Perhaps even sooner than that, I now judge.

But whatever... Until then, I shall not wash my hands nor let them hang useless.

- Roger Zelazny, The Guns of Avalon

What he said.

N/A
 
Clancie said:
And what did your research show, renata, about how many times Claus posted to and/or about me during that same time period?

After all, you want data that shows a meaningful pattern...it is only fair to make a comparison, not just show mine alone.

Ah, but I am not claiming to ignore you, Clancie.... :)
 
Peter Morris said:
You know, CF, I find that the skeptics are capable of some pretty gross distortions too.

Let's see those distortions. Always, evidence.
 
Clancie said:

And what did your research show, renata, about how many times Claus posted to and/or about me during that same time period?

After all, you want data that shows a meaningful pattern...it is only fair to make a comparison, not just show mine alone.

As for Bill Hoyt and TBK...they aren't on ignore. So, yes, I do feel obligated to respond to their personal attacks and nasty posts to me (and, sometimes, I respond to what they say to other "believers" as well). I don't think people should be allowed to unfairly and personally attack someone as I feel they do and just "get a pass" for it. Nor am I comfortable when (a few) other people get involved on my behalf and then I stay silent.

...snip...

But Clancie according to your reasoning if you don't respond to "their" bashing of other posters then it should be assumed you agree with that tactic and you've just posted that you don't always respond when "these" people bash "others".

Yet earlier you castigated people like me who choose to stay silent (or don't even see the same issues as you do with certain posts) saying that we condone "bashing" or "bullying" tactics. Do you now retract that very strong allegation?

I do understand your frustration (at times) with seemingly every little thing you post being dissected, but it is a very small minority of active posters who do this (according to you) and it is within your choice to ignore it. If you think their points are unreasonable you don't even need to tell them that you can just ignore them, if you think they are rude, you can ignore them, no one forces you to post anything here.

And I will say quite publicly that I would be sorry if you stop posting on this board, I have found some/many of your posts interesting and they can certainly spark debates. I believe you do bring viewpoints to the board that are not the common viewpoints held by many posters which makes it more interesting.

But I just can't support you with what seems to be a campaign to enforce your views on how you should be treated here, and that is not because it is you, that is how I feel about special treatment for any adult.


Clancie said:

What pattern do you think a tally for each of their posts to or about me would show, in the comparable time period in which you have mentioned tallying mine to them? Certainly, since you've totalled mine, it would be of interest to then add TBK's, Bill's and Claus's total posts to and/or about me all together, and see if those numbers provide an important piece of data related to the point you are making.....

Renata was commenting about your behaviour, the only behaviour you can be held responsible for. It doesn't matter if TBK, Bill or Claus don't post anything but rude responses to you for the point she was making about your behaviour.

Please don't let posts here cause you any pain or distress, you know who you are, you know what you are.
 

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