First of all TT, I still don't like what you're saying at all. It smacks heavily ofblaming the victim and belittling the experiences of many bullied people just because you were able to deal with it. I don't know if you mean to, and I assume you don't, but you come across as unpleasantly smug and self satisfied, sneering at those who were too weak to deal with bullying in the same way you did. You need to work on how you make your points, because well, when pretty much everyone misunderstands what you're trying to say, it's probably your poor communication. That being said, I apologise for misinterpreting what you meant and I apologise for the insults, they were over the top even if I WAS right about what you meant.
Now, on to the meat of your post.
I think it's cute that the people raging about victims of bullying are the ones using insults and name calling to try to get their point across.
Emotional reactions. Having been force fed the "Sticks and Stones" crap from a very early age, many people who are less adept at dealing with bullying tend to lash out at people who are seen to be belittling them, and seriously, that's exactly how you come across.
Anyway perhaps I'm looking at this at too narrow of a lens.
Yes. That of your own personal experience, which you seem to be completely unable to get past. I understand that you asked me for more information, and I'd be glad to give it if you genuinely want to understand, but it really really doesn't seem like an honest request. If I'm being brutal, you're coming across like a blunt bully yourself.
I am addressing ONLY the OP topic of suicide because of the result of bullying. In other words the kid couldn't take it and killed themselves.
That is
a. Insulting as hell and
b. oversimplification
I'm not talking about physical attacks because there are repercussions for physical assault. That's a no brainer and easier to solve. You touch another student in school and instant pronto suspension. That is easy to solve. Maybe the schools don't do it but as a solution we've seen zero tolerance policies creeping up around the country.
All reasonable.
However you can bully a person without laying a hand on them. This is where it gets harder to correct. And frankly it does seem to me to be much more damaging psychologically to the victim than physical assault.
Really? What led you to that conclusion?
The one and only time I was physically hurt by people on purpose, it was far less of an issue than the emotional and mental abuse.
To me, (perhaps I'm wrong) this is what drives students to commit suicide.
If I understand you correctly, I'd say that it's usually the case, yes.
I am wondering if it is possible to create awareness campaigns that DO teach the student not to internalize it and take it personally. In doing so it would help avoid suicide. That is my goal with this approach.
There's a major problem with this though, which you seem to be completely oblivious to and why you come across as being an ignorant fool who belittles people.
It won't always work. In fact, I'd guess that the majority of bullied children who take it to heart to the point of becoming depressed and contemplating or even attempting suicide
won't be helped with a good talking to.
Counselling will help in some cases, especially if provided by a trained expert, but speaking as someone who represents my point, while it made me feel a little better to talk to someone, it doesn't stop you taking the crap personally. It basically serves as a vent and a soother. Having someone to discuss it with and having someone who will try to cheer you and build your confidence will take the edge of your feelings at the time, but it isn't something that will stop the words getting to you. No matter how much people tell me how intelligent I am and how none of it was because I was defective and I shouldn't take it to heart
I did anyway.
My mind internalised these rantings, some of which in my more lucid moments I could tell were nonsense, and that made it even easier for them to convince me I was just as worthless and pathetic as they made me out to be. Counselling helps deal with the current mood of the victim, but it won't stop the bullies hurting them. That's why your idea doesn't work.
It's why I liked the "It get's better" campaign.
Another problem is of course that for some people, it never gets better. Bullying isn't just something that happens at school you know.
It helped students to realize that there is a bigger picture, future and hope. It identifies them as one of the larger group of victims of being bullied rather than the sole "odd ball" in their class. It gives them hope.
Some of them. Some of them won't be reached no matter how upbeat you are.
If you'd stop being outraged long enough to consider what I'm saying, I think you'd see what I mean.
As a counterpoint, if you would stop assuming that your situation is the only one or even the norm, you might understand why your idea is really stupid.
Many kids and probably most of them who will contemplate suicide due to bullying are already damaged or mentally fragile. Telling them that it gets better and to buck up will not help matters. You may even make it worse.
In fact, I know that for some you will make it worse. If you had tried those platitudes with me, and some people did similar things, telling me that the bullying didn't really matter and that it was the fault of the bullies, you would have effectively driven me into a far more fragile and deluded state. Oh, and what a surprise, it did. Insisting that hey, you can think your way out of this and you don't NEED to personalise this stuff made me even MORE convinced I was actually a weak and pathetic creature barely worthy of the bullies contempt.
Did you think about this sort of thing at all TT? Be honest with me, did you just assume everyone is essentially like you and that they can just work through it because we can tell them it gets better?
We cannot stop bullying. It will always happen. We can stream it down as much as possible but if a teen is feeling ostracized and oppressed, giving them hope might save their life.
Except as I have mentioned above, your attempts to give them hope might do absolutely sod all, and may even make them MORE depressed. Stop assuming you are the norm.
I never took it personally. Ever.
Bully for you.
I realized it was their problem not mine. I was bullied relentlessly every single day in junior high school. Beaten up on the way home, mocked and made fun of in the hallways. When I got to high school we merged with a different area of students so I had the chance to make new friends. But it never occurred to me to commit suicide because all of the girls in my gym class made fun of me day after day after day. I just thought they were beyotches. I didn't think it was my problem. I just knew I was different. It can be done, big giant message board letters aside.
Aaaaand this pretty much confirms what I've been thinking. You genuinely think that pretty much everyone works in the same way as you. You have no intention of learning about why your "solution" is a massive waste of time because you have absolutely no interest in learning about the feelings and experiences of the mentally unstable. You just assume that everyone can be given a nice chat and when they're told that it isn't their fault and not to take it personally, everyone will deal with it just like you did and bullying will be much lessened as a problem.
No. You are seemingly unable to process the fact that some people aren't like you. You don't seem to care that your approach may further damage some children, because you are firmly convinced that if everyone can just be told to stop taking it so seriously and internalising the bullies words then they will come out of it as perfectly well rounded individuals. I WAS told that I should ignore it over and over again and it never once helped, so I'm going to give you some advice.
Sit in a chair, shut up, and
read what people who disagree with you are saying. You are not a guru with some inate knowledge on how to fix bullied kids so they don't kill themselves, you're an ignorant jackass with her own personal success story and such limited imagination she doesn't understand why it could possibly fail as a method to combat bullying.
