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Birds Aren't Real

Thermal said:
Chickens aren't birds. Turkeys either. That's how deep the Conspiracy runs.

You think that was some benign bird you ate? Ever had it tested by a lab? There is this one dude in his garage who is the worlds foremost expert on avian biomechanics and he Xeroxed a book on the subject. Educate yourself.
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I once ate a benign bird. When I picked her up she was cold.. frigid even but she soon warmed up and got quite hot.*


*then I woke up.
 
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What are birds? We just don't know.


Fortunately, the team at Look Around You has produced this helpful documentary:
 
MikeG said:
Difficult to see how this thread is in "Conspiracies", and not with Baylor's thread about Trudeau being transgender in Humour.......given that the precedent has now been set.
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False equivalence. Trudeau isn’t a robot pretending to be a bird. Do keep up! :D
 
This is funny:

In a stolen transcript from an ex-CIA deputy, she says,” yeah, the higher ups were so annoyed that birds had been dropping fecal matter on their car windows that they vowed to wipe out every single flying feathered creature in North America.”

As we learned in the previous chapter, this was just one of the reasons that the government came up with to eliminate the birds.
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23 men from within the Boeing Engineering department travelled to Area 51 in the back of an old school bus that they purchased from a salvage yard in Mukilteo Washington. They were seen by a few individuals bringing couches and rugs into the bus, and were also heard discussing and I quote,” really cool playlists for the road trip.”

Clearly, the Boeing Engineers didn’t get the memo from Dulles about remaining undetected, and actually painted “Area 51 or bust” on both sides of the bus. Whenever they would stop for gas, they would set up a makeshift campsite in the parking lot and sing songs with titles such as “I left my Honey for Area 51,” and,” Let’s Kill all the Birds.” They attracted a lot of attention, and the locals of a town in Idaho claimed that the men would reveal intimate details of what they were doing. Clearly, they were complete idiots; but their idiocy is one of the hardest pieces of evidence on how the government killed the birds.
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As I said a few paragraphs ago, the President was unaware what was going on until October 3rd, 1963; when a top CIA official was overheard speaking about the operation over a tapped phone. John F. Kennedy was the President at this time, and had tapped the phone of Alvin B. Cleaver (Internal Communications Director for the CIA). Kennedy believed that Cleaver was stealing his ham sandwich from the White House Kitchen, and vowed to catch him speaking about it over the phone.
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On October 25th, 1963 Kennedy was shown a prototype of the Turkey X500- a robot that specialized in killing larger birds like eagles and falcons. The robot displayed its surveillance skills, as well as its ability to find and track escaped criminals (as we learned from chapter 1, this was one of the things that drove Eisenhower to approve the project.) Kennedy was impressed with what he was shown, but continued to demand the immediate shutdown of the operation; and less than a month later he was dead. Now I’m not saying that these events are correlated, but I am. JFK was murdered by the CIA because he was against the mass murder of every feathered flying creature in the United States.
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That's all in chapter one. It's hilarious reading.
 
I presume these nut jobs, if they're in any way serious, have never eaten chicken.
 
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