Mr. Morris, read the application protocols, fill out an application as set forth by the protocols, and wait for a response.
Try putting the whole thing in bold, Czar... I really think that you
almost got through to PM with that last one, and just a few more boldface words might have made him see the light.
I bet if you put the whole sentence in bold, PM would read it, see it, and go "Hey, wait a second... maybe I should just read the application protocols, fill out an application as set forth by the protocols, and wait for a response."
And then I bet that his application would be accepted, since it would be so well written and not repetitive or combatitive or filled with accusations that Randi is "a big fat lier I proved it shut up you butthole everyone sucks but me," since he would read the application protocols and follow them to the letter, because of your (all boldface, please) instructions...
And then he would negotiate in good faith to come up with a reasonable, scientifically-sound and mutually-acceptable protocol (once again, because of the [all] boldface instructions)...
And a few weeks later, since the protocols had been hammered out so quickly and amicably, and with the media and James Randi present, PM would take his challenge. The Beatles (including John Lennon) would be there, and as PM got out of his limo (Winona Ryder just behind him, wiping her mouth conspicuously and lustfully as the flashbulbs popped) they would launch into "Come Together." But kind of a classy, fun version... self-depricating but not cheesy...
And then--the millions of onlookers silent and reverent--PM would do whatever it is that he says he can do. And he would do it quickly and without a lot of bs about whether the test protocols are ok, or whatever. And he would WIN!!!!
And Randi would stand there in stunned silence. Jackalgirl too... her lower lip quivering at the knowledge--nay, the undeniable, unfaceable
TRUTH--that she was just a stupid stupid stoop, and that she would never be worthy to so much as lick PM's sweet, sweet balm from Winona Ryder's perfect, pouting lips...
And then a clown would come out (not a spooky one... a cool one). And the clown would be leading a pony. And on the back of the pony would be a monkey wearing a tiny Western Union deliveryman uniform. And in the monkeys tiny, white-gloved hands would be two things: 1) A sign saying
WAY TO GO PETER MORRIS, and 2) $1,000,000 in small bills.
And the monkey would--solemnly and with a smart tip of his cap--hand the money to PM. Then the monkey would
JUMP off of the pony, and start having sex with Randi's head, while the reporters took picures of Randi getting head[rule8]'d by a monkey, and Winona Ryder laughed, and all of the people who ever made fun of PM and thought Randi was cool laughed too, because now they knew what cool really was...
And at the final chord of "Come together... right now... over me!" the monkey would... right on Randi's big, stupid, lying head.
Won't you
please help make it happen, Czar... please?