am I the only one who is uncomfortable with relationship between such people of such large difference in age ?
Not to over focus on 1% of someone's life, but am I the only one that would find it uncomfortable if their friends started a relationship where one of them was 61 and the other 16 at the beginning and started living together not so long afterwards. Surely large power differences in relationships are not healthy and anyone under mental age 21 is not vulnerable to manipulation by the older one.
Unless the reporting at the time the identity fraud was discovered is wrong, Randi was 56 when they met, and José (to keep on calling him that, I don't know if he has switched back to his original name now, but José was what he used most of his life) was 22.
This is really not about Randi/José (and I'm still waiting for the torrent to finish so I can watch the film for myself), but I came across the issue of public opinion about age difference in a relationship a lot when I rather closely followed news about the coming out of Tom Daley, who was 19 years old at the time, and his boyfriend was 38 (maybe I should say partner - they've never used either or any term publicly as far as I know, but since they're living together and mostly inseparable, "boyfriend" seems a bit too ephemeral.)
The odd thing is: almost all of the negative or doubting comments about that age difference I saw were on gay sites. Some people painted lurid pictures of poor little Tom, being manipulated by the evil much older Lance, who exploited his supposed Hollywood celebrity status to bedazzle the naive British kid. Nevermind that it showed a complete lack of knowledge about Daley's personality and life experience, and that he was much more famous than Dustin Lance Black. E.g.: on the day of his coming out, Daley had just under 2.5 milliion Twitter followers (which rose to over 2.6 million in the next two days), Black had just over 22,000. But Daley's overwhelmingly female fanbase didn't mind at all. There was some surprise initially, but once they found out a bit more about Black, and especially when pictures of the two of them together started to surface, they were perfectly OK with it. Nobody thought there was something manipulative about their relationship, either way. Strangely, I think it would have been a really big blow to Daley's teen heartthrob status if he'd announced he was in a relationship with a woman twice his age. That would have been weird. Somehow, the fact that it involved another man made it much more acceptable, and his heartthrob status remains pristinely intact.
But generally, where does this idea come from that in a relationship with an age gap, the older person must be the manipulator, and the younger one the victim? Based on purely anecdotal observation, I'd say it's often the other way round. People don't get more manipulative as they get older, and very young people are quite capable of manipulating someone much older who's infatuated with them to their own advantage.
The most important point however, IMO, is that there something seriously wrong when a relationship has to be described in terms of "manipulation", or "power differences" between the partners. In a healthy relationship, people treat each other as equals, regardless of age differences or wealth differences.